To not want another daily mail article on how to bring up my baby?

[Ams25]

MIL is coming this weekend, and has already told DH that she has a really interesting article for me. This will be the third article she has passed to me since DS2 was born. The last two were clipped from The Daily mail and ran along similar themes - give baby a bottle before bed (I EBF) put baby in their own room ( we mainly co sleep) and leave baby to cry ( my baby is only 5 months old). I know this will be more of the same and I'm fed up with it. Okay, my baby doesn't sleep through but most babies don't at this age without the kind of sleep training that I don't want to use! I don't complain to her about having broken sleep, so why does she keep putting her oar in? She bottle fed her children and left them to CIO when they were newborn, so we obviously have very different ideas about things. DH says I should just say thanks for the article and leave it at that but I want to explain to her we're happy with our choices and the daily mail is not going to make me change my mind! Thoughts?

My SiL gave me one - it was about how childbirth can be orgasmic for some women and how drug-free, natural birthing is the way forward.

It was accompanied by a lecture too. SiL has no children..

Ignore, ignore, ignore!

Porcamiseria... Last one was an interview with some footballers wife who'd had a baby... I agree not big news and certainly not someone I'd look to for guidance on bringing up my child!

Pooties I've had that thought myself... Suppose the difference is I would be a RIGHT interfering MIL!

I did a philosophy and psychology degree and my dad has a habit of lecturing me on basic philosophical and psychological theories. It used to drive me mad and I used to cut him off but then I realised it was the only way he had of trying to connect with me. Since I gave him a chance we've gotten to know him so much better and our relationship has improved so much. He doesn't lecture as often any more and is much better at just having a normal conversation. I'm the only person with whom he'll talk on the phone as I'm the only one who listens to him - my mother fobs him off and ignores him all the time.

Your MIL is going about it very badly but she is only trying to connect with you. Why not accept the article and then ask her something about when she was young, like "How did you feel bringing DH home from the hospital?" or "What did you imagine DH would be like when he grew up?" It would be lovely for her reminisce and would take her mind off the bones of contention. That way you can present your case in a subtle conversational way without it being confrontational. So you could say "Yeah I was worried about breastfeeding but I am really enjoying it and I'm hoping to continue for as long as possible. Of course having support is really important..." Over time she might relax, stop interfering and just chat to you.

Okay, she handed over an article by Lorraine Candy (?) saying that her baby started sleeping through once she gave her a bottle. I said thanks very much for thinking of me ( nicely) and put it to one side. She didn't make a big thing of it at all. Thanks all for advice x

I'd say thanks and put it aside. Then later maybe try and drop into the conversation something like "there are so many different opinions on looking after babies, and as long as they're loved and fed they generally all turn out fine. I think it's important just to go with what works for you." subtext "We're happy with what we're doing, so don't diss our parenting and we won't diss yours."

I think you handled it well. It could well be that she just wants you to know she's been thinking about her grandchild even when she's just reading the paper.

I think people are being quite generous to the MiL. I tend to think she's being passive-aggressive - she won't come out and tell you what you're doing is wrong, so she cuts an article out of the paper that says the same thing.

Shame she didn't clip out this or this one.....Perhaps she might appreciate a copy?