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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are they being unreasonable? Banned from local KFC today

240 replies

GraciousLife · 17/11/2011 21:00

Popped into my local KFC today. Due to the area I live in, they have screens up between customer and cashier (like in post offices and banks), which makes it hard to hear what is being said. I didn't understand what the girl asked me, and, as I often say when I don't understand what someone has said, I jokingly said "Can I have that in English please", without thinking/realising/noticing the cashier was from another country (english being her second language).

The cashier got very upset. More upset than I would have thought is necessary, and refused to continue to serve me. I was shocked. She got her manager and told her what I had said. To cut a very long story short, I have been banned from the store.

OP posts:
GwendolineMaryLacey · 18/11/2011 10:21

Since when is Polish a race?

Look, it wasn't a great thing to say but lumping it in with racism is ridiculous and a huge overreaction.

elinora · 18/11/2011 10:25

It was really rude of you, particularly as you knew the person was not English. I am English and if I'd served you and you'd said that to me I'd have been offended too, so patronising.

Kladdkaka · 18/11/2011 10:53

Since when is Polish a race?

Since the Race Relations Act 1976. Which defined racial group as 'a group of persons defined by reference to colour, race, nationality or ethnic or national origins'.

Jacinda · 18/11/2011 11:01

Gwendoline, according to Wikipedia "Racism" and "racial discrimination" are often used to describe discrimination on an ethnic or cultural basis, independent of their somatic (i.e. "racial") differences.

OP's comment was unbelievably rude and racist. Similar thing happened to me at GP. The receptionist said she can't understand me and I should come back with an interpreter. I've only said four words by that point. It was like a slap in the face. Also at work one older lady demanded to speak to manager every time I answered the phone. It was very upsetting for me. As a non native speaker I struggle to understand strong regional accents, but it only takes a little bit of patience.

HazleNutt · 18/11/2011 11:03

English is not my first language and I would have found this comment very upsetting and insulting - "What is this funny language you are speaking, can't undestand your horrible accent, can you say it in English?" Wouldn't you be upset if you were trying to speak another language and someone replied with this?
Does not matter if you were laughing when you said it or not.

DrHeleninahandcart · 18/11/2011 11:15

I am in awe

you got banned from a KFC
you got banned from a KFC that has glass screens up

Yes, you were rude YABU
Yes, given that the woman was Polish you were very rude and therefore YABVU

Still, banned from KFC. Impressive Grin

GwendolineMaryLacey · 18/11/2011 11:16

OK, fair enough, I didn't realise that. So why is it then that when someone takes offence at being called a Paddy or some such thing (am Irish btw) everyone piles in and says not to be ridiculous, you can't be racist towards the Irish? It either is or it isn't.

dreamingbohemian · 18/11/2011 11:21

OP you have been banned from KFC (snurk)-- and now you have dozens of people telling you that what you said was indeed very rude and/or racist.

Is it so hard to consider that maybe, yes, you are wrong?

I'm quite Hmm you've come back on the thread without a shred of 'oh gosh, maybe it was a bad thing to say'

TiggyD · 18/11/2011 11:28

Reading the thread title I had assumed you had begged them to give one of their sacred 'not for customers' dips.

YABU, but I understand how frustrating it gets. You go in for fast food and it takes ages because of the language problems. However, the worker has to cope with the language problems all day long.

Kladdkaka · 18/11/2011 11:34

Gwen because they are ignorant fuckwits who think that because it doesn't offend them (not being from that particular racial group) it's not offensive.

Gloribe · 18/11/2011 11:54

YABU for being jingoist and eating in KFC, who treat chickens like shite.

WhyAlwaysFuckingMe · 18/11/2011 12:10

The do have screens in Kfc in Harlesden -London.(well they had when I last been there)
As a foreign person I can tell you that it is rude and upsetting. Feels like someone is taking the piss because you are not fluent in English as someone wishes. Also as a foreign person I can assure you that if some one wants to understand the will its just a good will.

knockkneedandknackered · 18/11/2011 12:14

never heard of kfc being all barred up where do uou live the ghetto. i woulden't have said can you speak english just can you speak up.

ArtVandelay · 18/11/2011 12:18

I'm quite pleased with the KFC manager for being so forthright in defence of his/her staff. Sounds like the counter lady is a valued person there.

I'm also a bit shocked at how completely oblivious you are OP. Have you led a particularly sheltered life when it comes to interacting with people outside your immediate family / community?

wahwahwah · 18/11/2011 12:18

I got banned from the Beanie Babies website...

ArtVandelay · 18/11/2011 12:20

Wah How?!

TheRhubarb · 18/11/2011 12:22

Only the OP knows in which context she used that phrase, but I've heard it being used jokingly before when someone has not understood what has been said, usually when talking to a teenager Grin

IF the OP honestly did not realise that the cashier was foreign and used it in a jokey way then how is it offensive? We use the phrase as a jokey term for people who use necessarily complicated language (like salesmen or plumbers) and it's something that English speakers might use towards other English speakers. I can see how, if English was not first your language, you could construe it as an insult but even then you'd have to be sensitive.

When I lived in France, my French was not brilliant and if someone had jokingly said to me "Say that again in French please" I would construe it as a sarcastic remark but would take it on the chin and try again. The French were very good at letting us know if they couldn't understand us and could be quite blunt at times, but racist? No.

However if the OP knew that the girl serving was Polish and she was making a dig at her then that is very different. It all depends on the intention, which we here can not know.

In itself it is not an offensive remark and I would never have construed it so.

bruffin · 18/11/2011 12:30

"Only the OP knows in which context she used that phrase, but I've heard it being used jokingly before when someone has not understood what has been said, usually when talking to a teenager "

Have to say it to my DD 14 all the timeGrin

Nagoo · 18/11/2011 12:31

My Mum used to say that to me loads in my mumbling teenaged years! I also say it to DH if he speaks 'computer' to me, and uses loads of jargon.

It's obviously not offensive to me, but I can see how you offended the lady in the KFC.

You should have grovelled like fuck, as it was really rude to her. i can see how it might have slipped out though. You don't need to be ripped apart for using a phrase like that, I think it has it's place, just not to strangers!

Kladdkaka · 18/11/2011 12:35

I think it's about knowing your audience. If you know the person and how the comment will be received then it's not an offensive remark. But if you make the remark to a stranger then you run the risk of being offensive. If you inadvertantly say it to a non-native speaker you are being offensive and run the risk of being labelled racist because some people do it delibrately because they ARE racist. As someone already said, those who ARE racist will claim they weren't doing it delibrately when pulled up on it.

wahwahwah · 18/11/2011 12:40

I got very annoyed when my niece was in ther bloody beenie baby phase and she wanted the new one that was being launched. I sauntered up to Selfidges to see a huge queue of people outside, who launched themselves at the toy department when the doors opened and snaffled up the 10 or so that they had brought in (the assistant said that they always got a tiny amount in on new launch day to whip up hysteria). Then of course, said beenies appeared on e-bay for loads more than they were bought for. I tried to buy it from the beenie site but couldn't.

I may have used the phrase 'massive rip off' in my complaint e-mail to customer services (no sweary words but I was royally pissed off) and I got an e-mail back saying that I had upset the beenies, so couldn't come back to the site. I had a beenie fatwa. I think I am the only person in the world that can say that.

Never did get that beenie.

knockkneedandknackered · 18/11/2011 12:41

banned from kfc that amusing.

MmeLindor. · 18/11/2011 12:44

It was a rude thing to say, but could only be racist if she had known that the cashier was not a native English speaker.

I would love to be banned from KFC so that my mother could not drag me there again.

I have a strict policy never to eat anything that is served in a bucket.

SharrieTBGinzatome · 18/11/2011 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheRhubarb · 18/11/2011 12:48

I think it's one thing saying rudely "speak English!" to someone but quite another to be stood on the other side of a perspex divider and jokingly say "Can I have that in English please?" They must get a lot of people unable to hear clearly so I do think the manager should have put it into some sort of perspective.

However you say you were in Birmingham? So even if she were a local I presume you might have struggled to make out what she said anyway? Grin