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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to buy a wooden pram for DS3?

27 replies

BoffinMum · 17/11/2011 18:28

DS3 (age 2.5) spends a lot of him time running around shooting things with plastic guns and ersatz weapons. He shouts 'I kill you!' while doing so. He watches a lot of Dr Who and Indiana Jones illicitly with his big brothers.

He also like teddies and trains too.

To help him prepare for nursery, where I thought he might be in trouble for being a bit violent, I bought him a wooden pram, reasonably gender neutral, that won some sort of design award. I thought he could put things in there such as teddies and trains, and push them around, and get in touch with his caring side.

It's this one, although I paid about half of that.

My dad has had a fit and said that I will make him too soft. He says it is a hard world and getting him pushing prams around will ruin him. Hmm Shock

AIBU?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 17/11/2011 18:30

Yanbu

Certain men seem to think if a boy pushes a buggy then they may be a bit soft

My DS loved his buggy at that age - totally normal IMO

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 17/11/2011 18:32

I am laughing at the website sayign the pram is 'cutting edge'. Hardly. But my ds plays with dd's old toy pram and I can't see a problem with it. He doesn't even push his beloved Thomas trains in it, he has a proper doll.

Trills · 17/11/2011 18:37

Dads push babies in prams. Therefore nothing wrong with boys playing at pushing prams.

So YANBU.

Although I don't think a "girly" toy is likely to change his behaviour, so YABU to get him a pram to get in touch with his caring side.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 17/11/2011 18:40

Tell your dad that your DS uses it to practice hi ramraiding, rioting and looting skills Wink
My DSs spend way more time playing with the dolls and all the mountains of crap accessories than DD ever does/did Grin

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 17/11/2011 18:42

while we're here Grin has anyone else observed that while a woman will just push the pram, using both hands and looking at the child and so on, a man will often use one hand, walk to one side of the pram, and basically pretend he isn't with it even though it's attached to his hand, and look anywhere but at the pram?

moondog · 17/11/2011 18:44

I thought you meant ot put him in which seemd to be taking lentil weavery a tad too far. Grin

LydiaWickham · 17/11/2011 18:46

YANBU - your dad is being terribly gender biased! point out that daddies push buggies too, do you want to teach your DS that looking after children is 'woman's work' and not something he should bother himself with? It's a cute pram (would like to know where you got it for £25 please! My DS would like it!). Your future DIL will thank you that you haven't raised a 50's throw back.

tiredteddy · 17/11/2011 18:46

We have 2 prams for my 2 DS'S ! Eldest ds now 7 has grown out if prams and dolls , that's fine. His brother and his friends play with the 2 prams and dolls everytime we have a playdate. Ds2 is age 4 by the way. It has done neither child any harm. They enjoy the role play, can be sift and gentle. They can also be as loud, rough and boisterous as any other boy!

LydiaWickham · 17/11/2011 18:47

Oh, and my parents raised my brother in a very traditional way, he's as camp as christmas, just saying...

cakeoclock · 17/11/2011 18:53

YANBU my ds loved my dds pram to the point where he broke it by sitting in it one too many times. DD couldn't have cared less but I replaced it for DS with a cheapo one from sainsburys. It is bright pink. He loves it!

hiddenhome · 17/11/2011 18:58

My ds1 had a doll called Elsie. He loved her, but did end up pulling her head off and that was it really Grin

I used to love playing with Action Man and never used to take his trousers off just to see if he had a willy and cars when I was young.

greenbananas · 17/11/2011 18:58

Boffinmum, that wooden pram is great.

I bought my DS a pink pushchair from (£5-ish from argos) when he was 2. His grandfather was completely horrified, but DS loves it and often takes his toys to the shops in it.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 17/11/2011 19:26

It was cheap because it had a bit of a scratch on the side. You can hardly see it though.

He currently has DD's Molly the Dolly in there, who must have v bad diarrhoea, as we have done about 5 nappy changes with the miniature nappies already. "He is smeyy-y, Mummy! Oh no! I ceen him up!" He's struggling with getting the nappies on the right way around. Thank goodness he hasn't got reusables to contend with. Wink I am currently babysitting while he takes his favourite teddy to the park.

I think it's a brilliant pram as you can use it as a shopping trolley and train transporter as well if you want.

OP posts:
Original poster
BoffinMum · 17/11/2011 19:28

He has now found DS2's toy baby bottle and announced, "Boggar later, we go park, boggar later" and is pushing teddy round in it.

I am tempted to teach DS3 to bf to really shock my dad at Christmas!

I have also bought him a baby boy doll with blue accessories and a little blue potty for Xmas ...

OP posts:
Original poster
BoffinMum · 17/11/2011 19:30

DS2 (10) has just put a nappy on the baby dolly very competently - interesting residual memory there, I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
BoffinMum · 17/11/2011 19:32

They are now playing wars with the baby doll and the trains.

OP posts:
radstar · 17/11/2011 19:33

My ds 2.7 loves his baby doll he has had him since I was pregnant wth ds2 he loves tofeed and change him, he recently has moved on to "solids" along side ds2! At one point his baby went everywhere with him, I think he is a more attentive parent than me!

Take no notice of your Dad, you have the right idea and most people will agree with you Smile

MrsChemist · 17/11/2011 19:42

Whenever people question DS having a dolly and pram, I like to point out how ridiculous they are being, by telling them you can't catch gay from dollies.

It makes them realise that they are being a bit stupid.

I then like to add that if he were gay, I wouldn't give two hoots, so they are doubly stupid.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 17/11/2011 20:07

My best friend when I was at primary school was gay, which I think might be on my dad's mind a bit!

He has had a great dance career - trained at White Lodge and the Royal Ballet, and became a professional dancer in the West End. It didn't really occur to me he was gay until we bumped into each other in our 20s, and I realised he was indeed rather camp. The Tinky Winky handbag gave it away.

I just don't understand the whole blokey anti-gay thing, if I am honest.

OP posts:
kickingking · 17/11/2011 20:11

Of course you are not being unreasonable.

I bought my DS a toy buggy for Christmas when he was two. The response from most people was to ask if DH was 'ok with that' Confused

DS still uses the buggy now at nearly five. When people comment, I say "He's pretending to be a daddy, what's wring with that?" Smile

Original poster
BoffinMum · 17/11/2011 20:30

That's how I see it - babies and house stuff and car stuff and trains are things we all have to deal with as adults, so why would they be confined to one gender in childhood?

OP posts:
QuietNinjaTeacup · 17/11/2011 20:36

Yanbu and you know it! My ds has a buggy. He pushes his fire engine and rugby ball around in it :-)

SaggyoldCHRISTMASHUMBUGcatpuss · 17/11/2011 21:36

I have a fantastically embarrassing cute picture of 3yo DS breast feeding a cuddly toy! It never did him any harm! yet [evil mother emoticon]

IneedAbetterNickname · 17/11/2011 21:44

My DS1 (7) bought himself a pram with his birthday money! He loves it. Like Saggys DS, he used to breastfeed dolly too, although he has outgrown that now!

spiderslegs · 17/11/2011 21:49

YUNBU - they are very sweet prams, I have one & both DD & DS play with it, as earlier posters said, DS also used to invest alot of time & energy breastfeeding Lamby (his teddy).

DS (now 4) currently divides his time looking after Lamby & building him habitats & building 'bomb nuclears' (who knows?) & wanting to drive 'a heavily aroured septic tank'.

Nature, nuture, who TF knows?

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