to wonder what 'jobs' I'm meant to be doing 'whilst the baby is asleep'?

[MrsChanandlerBong]

People keep saying this to me - get your jobs done whilst the baby is asleep/content. Apart from the fact that she never is (during the day) and seems to need to be held constantly, I don't understand what needs doing so urgently that I should be doing?

There's things I'd quite like to do like laking on mumsnet like eat lunch or make dinner, but even those I don't get chance to most days. I can just about stick a wash in but everything else waits til the evening or weekend.

I'm BFing which takes ages but I don't know how on earth people have time to FF - I'd be using unsterilised bottles and all sorts! I'm generally pretty organised but I' rethinking this position as I'm obviously failing in my SAHM chores...

Maybe I'm a slattern! Or am I being too soft and holding her too much when I could be doing other things? I dunno.

The problem here is the word meant.

I used to enjoy the nap-times and 'sitting in the bouncy chair times' for catching up on everything from internet banking, doing the laundry and putting the bins out, to a bit of decorating. Then again I've been a sole parent from birth so if I didn't do all of these things, they wouldn't get done and I'd be living in a scruffy old hovel.

Use your imagination and 'put the baby down'... :)

You should be turning your sheets sides to middle and embroidering.

And why not take in laundry?

Pull out furniture to clean behind? DVDs into alphabetical order? There must be loads to do..

For a start when I was BF there were days when they fed almost constantly and I could barely get up from the sofa.

I think your duties include -

• weeding (even post CS)
• laundry, inc drying and ironing
• hoovering
• dusting/polishing
• sweeping/mopping the kitchen floor
• making packed lunches for DP/H and any other children
• making cups of tea and food for all visitors invited or not
• making sure the house is immaculate for all visitors invited or not or be prepared for "no need to make an effort. Oh, you didn't " comments
• cooking from scratch daily

HTH!

The only job you're ment to be doing while shes asleep is catching up on your sleep! Ignore all thoes that say you're ment to be doing xy or z.
You're right nothing is so important it can't wait.

If you don't want to put the baby down, don't. I loved the first few months of having baby with me all the time, especially now I have a very independent 18 month old who is far to busy for cuddles from mama.

If you feel the need to clean, get a sling and you can still enjoy your cuddles and do a bit around the house. Personally I figured as long as it didn't turn into a health hazard a bit of mess wouldn't hurt as long as DD couldn't move around. I'm really glad I did because now it's hoovering and moving DH's -crap- important stuff so DD doesn't eat it.

Actually, I was an LP with DC1. I actually found it much easier because I got loads done and there wasn't someone coming home at the end of the day to 'tell me off' for the stuff I hadn't done.

It was much harder living up to the expectations of a hard working DH than ever it was doing the whole lot on my own! At least I appreciated me!

I was exactly the same until ds was about 7 or 8 months old and actually started napping at the same time each day.

I even had people saying that they "don't know how you'd cope with two when you can't even manage one" (no not my MIL, although I'm sure she thought the same, this gem came from my own mother!)

Even now I'm sitting here and the dishwasher needs loading, the3 weeks worth of ironing I finally got around to last night is still neatly folded on the sofa and the weeks worth of dirty washing is overflowing from the basket. In fact, I should probably get off mumsnet and see to all that right now

Watching telly is in the first section of SAHM Duties Handbook, so be sure to fit that in! Also, Ebaying, Mnetting and staring into space. I was good at that one!

Formula feeding is a bit quicker than BF and it's maybe not as tiring....so just you forget about "jobs" unless it's something you fancy at the moment...

just make sure to clear a path daily from couch to fridge

good grief, SLEEP is the most important job you should be doing. Get yer head down, love.

I agree with the advice of getting a sling. You can get most of the everyday stuff out of the way while they are awake. Save their sleeping time for the important stuff i.e. sleeping, feet up etc.

Don't forget to put digging the garden on your list. This is essential as all SAHMs are duty bound to grow their own organic vegetables. So no slouching around just because it is nearly winter. Just because you may have had tears/stitches/C-section does not mean you cannot do heavy manual work!!
(wrenches tongue out of cheek)

If you only have one enjoy the TV. I watched hours of TV whilst breastfeeding DS1 - it was fab. Rather than just watch the dross that is on (god I hate bargain hunt and like!) get into whole series. Get something you have been meaning to watch from Love Film or the like and enjoy. No way you get to do that when you have number 2 - it is Cbeebies all the way!!

I did let things slide a bit with DS1 in terms of household organisation - getting good phone deals, utilities etc. I got a small netbook (a little laptop) and it is fab for keeping up - and mumsnetting of course!!

When my 'baby' (20 mths) has a nap, so do I.

I can't think of a better use of the time TBH, love my nana naps.

do what you want.

Yabu for asking random people on a website how to live your life.

I've never been into napping myself so found it difficult to nap when baby was napping. My first priority as soon as he was down was a food & drink whilst catching up with the paper/TV/internet. Even now with DS aged 3, I find it a bit weird when we're out with other mums & someone says something like "we've got to go now, housework beckoning", as if doing housework is more fun than staying out chatting, having coffee, watching the DCs beat each up playing beautifully together, etc

DS is nearly 8 weeks
Generally I manage to put washing on, hang it to dry (in flat), take it off dryer and put away. This usually takes all day done in 2 minute chunks!!!
I sometimes manage to wash up the breakfast/lunch stuff but often wait for Dh to get home so I can hand baby over and I can cook/wash up etc.
DH does all cleaning at the weekend.

I don't feel the need to do anything else, although I have a fair amount of admin stuff which has to get done (declaring birth to various institutions etc. - I'm not in th uk)

My "job" is to feed, clothe and change the baby. That'll do for now!

I try to get out every day though so I don't go crazy...

Rather than jobs around the home, you could use some time to rediscover hobbies. I love sewing and baking and find it very therapeutic, I also love blasting glam rock but that won't do for a sleeping baby!

Otherwise, sleep, rest, catchup with your favourite tv programmes, call a friend...

Do not get jobs done, use the time to catch up with yourself, have a shower and maybe rest. Jobs can be done whilst baby is awake, gives you something to chatter about. Television and reading to be done whilst breastfeeding.

My main focus in the early months was ensuring all were fed, washed and dressed... nothing more than that really. Everything else was done for pleasure. Jobs had last priority and were done only when they needed to be done, or if I found myself looking for something to do.

If anyone tells you you should be doing jobs, tell them to piss off back to the 1950s!

I was exactly like this when DD was little - she didn't nap and hated to be put down. I struggled through the jobs that were essential with one hand (for me these were looking after the dog, washing because we were doing reusable nappies, keeping the stove lit and occasionally feeding myself) and the rest waited until DP was around. I had to be organised with preparing things that I couldn't easily do with DD around the night before (like bringing in coal for the stove).

It does get easier, now DD is 6 months she will sit in a bumbo seat/bouncy seat/door bouncer near me while I do what I want to. As soon as she could pick up items to play with it got easier, also weaning's helped because food is a great distracter. In the meanwhile, I found a sling very useful.

I realise I'm lucky that DP is around to share paranting. I have the most respect for lone parents.

I wish someone had said to me "For gawds sake, sleep when the baby sleeps, it's the only way you will survive this nightmare!!!"*

My advice would be ignore all the jobs and sleep/rest/do something lovely for yourself.

(*I was 39 when had first one so possibly knackereder than youngers.)

I'm so getting a sling then... today!
Bartimaeus this sounds very much like my day (DD 7wks) - I have less excuse as I have a dishwasher and tumble drier but barely manage to put stuff in them.

How did they manage in the old days when they were beating clothes against rocks down by the river?

My god I wish I could do my sewing!

Tea
Sandwiches
Sky plus
MN
Bit of online shopping
Catch up with emails
Cake

20mins before DP gets home, stck baby in a sling and do some light cleaning.

Job (s) done :)