AIBU.... to want a bit of recognition from parents for all the GOOD I do?

[juniper904]

Tonight was the first of our two nights of parents' evening, and it's been an exhausting time.

Minus the fact I was at work for 12 1/2 hours today and worked through my lunch, as well as being on break duty, I am a bit down with the general lack of recognition from parents for the positive things I do for their children.

I'm a year 3 teacher, and I work 60+ hours per week without a doubt. I have a million and one things in place to help every child feel settled, I think the children enjoy their time in my class and I have worked really hard to establish a safe and enjoyable learning environment.

Every child's book is marked with encouraging feedback, with two positives and one 'next step'. All the children know what they need to do to progress, and how they should achieve their next steps.

I deal with so many everyday trivial issues, including arguments involving 'finders keepers versus losers weepers' and I am patient and calm, even when the 20th child asks the same question we have discussed 20 times.

So it's really disheartening to be shouted at, accused and generally spoken to in unpleasant ways by parents, when it all seems uncalled for. They are the minority, but even the parents who didn't shout and scream didn't really show any recognition for all the positives. They all want to point out the minor, trivial things that aren't perfect. Like I forgot to wish a child happy birthday, even though it was on a Saturday. And I remembered the following week.

I know that's a lot of moaning, but it feels pretty crappy when you try to make learning fun and effective, and parents don't appreciate it.

So am I being unreasonable? Should I just stop whining, and start counting down until the Christmas holiday?

Parents' evening is about the child and not the adults.
OP is just a bit PO'd, as we all get at some point, whoever we are. Look at all the grumpy parents on here, complaining that their children don't appreciate them doing their job as a parent.
I find B & J icecream is a fine solution to my misery.

That's sad Toothbrush thief, but it is one of the constant statistics in teaching, huge drop-out rate before 5 years.

I brought my ds's teachers biscuits at parents evening to keep up their blood sugar! I am a bit of a teachers pet though

Hmm. It is, of course, very nice if parents' appreciate your efforts but at Secondary level they are very much focused on their childrens' progress through a certificate class. So it's more about assessment results and predicted attainment. Which is exactly as it should be.
Very often the Secondary pupil regards the teacher as an annoying irritation/kill-joy who is preventing them from socialising with their mates.

Of course you should be recognised for the good you do.

All of us who work in caring roles should be.

But its not always going to be someone telling us how great we are.

I dunno. I have found in the past when I put tons of work into something I might get a grunt if I am lucky. I do something very simple and easy and the parents think I am a living Saint!

I think people genuinely dont realise what you/I/we do. A lot of them are too wrapped up in their own difficult or busy lives to give someone else's any thought. I know I am although I have made a special effort to thank some of the people involved in my DD's care.

Nikon - I'm a nurse too - total empathy with you and OP.

happy......... I am not a nurse but spent Monday night in a and e................what they have to put up with is far far far worse than an irate parent.

I've been threatened with violence on numerous occasions, dragged across a table and stepped between a bloke with a bamboo cane and a child, and that bloody hurt I can tell you.
So perhaps it depends on the school and the A & E dept.

Oops, sorry!
Forgot I was being flippant and frivolous.

Yanbu. I think the majority of parents appreciate what their dc's teachers do for them but I do think that it might be that sometimes a parent's evening is too much of a formal forum for a genuine thank you. I know that I know my ds's teachers are fab but I always do thanks at Christmas and end if year via a card and gift, when it seems less formal iyswim. OP I wonder if you had a few minutes to think back through your appointments that you would be able to see the 'hidden' or 'backhanded' thanks and praise from parents that come out in their statements 'ds is loving being in your class' or 'dd has come on so much' - all those are praise for you but not overtly.

There's simply no excuse for shouting, ever. I'm sorry you have to put up with that.

However, I also don't think parents evening, this early in the year, is the time for profuse thanks or praise on either side. I think it's about sitting down, the teacher giving a quick appraisal including any issues, and the parents listening and responding and asking about their own issues.

You are appreciated, by the children. But if you expect profuse thanks at this stage, you will be disappointed.

I say this as someone who has students myself, they usually say thank you at the end of the year, but some write horrid anonymous negative feedback. I don't do it for the appreciation.

I always tell ds's teachers how much he's enjoying their classes (so far this has been true, every year). They work darn hard and they should be appreciated. (Am a governor so see a bit of what goes on behind the scenes.)

dh and ds made some soup the other day and took some in for ds's teacher - do you think that's better or worse than an apple? She was very nice about it - ds had told her all about making a batch a couple of days previously and she'd been so encouraging he was determined to make her some. Which may well prove to be a learning point: 'Must not display too much enthusiasm about the cooking skills of eight year olds...'

YANBU, juniper. Come and teach my kids - I always make a point of thanking the teacher and telling them the nice things my dd says about them

There's no excuse for rudeness and aggression but I don't think you should be expecting praise for what is effectively just doing you job. I agree that it sounds like you are doing your job very well but that should be what everybody aims to do. Its a bit needy to expect parents to acknowledge your hard work, the fact that you know you've done well by seeing the effect on your pupils should be enough.
I work in the health service and rarely get praise for anything but professional pride makes me work to the best of my ability and "go the extra mile".