to think that not every man on mumsnet must be "dodgy"

[OpinionSeeker]

A thread on mums net to settle an argument about mumsnet...
DH thinks that if a man is on mumsnet then he must have an ulterior motive, to chat up 'mums' - he wants me to add that he thinks they must be devious. I think, perhaps naively that there are probably some genuine male parents, aka dads, wishing to discuss parenting issues. DH believes men should be on dadsnet.
Genuinely looking for opinions.

I'm well dodgy.

In answer to OP, I find MN invaluable for advice and, sometimes, support in parenting and other issues. Hardly any other sites, especially ones aimed at men, come close.

Most of the men I'm aware of aren't dodgy. I do appreciate those who indicate their gender in their name, I think that's a good thing.

While we're discussing men, haven't heard from UQD in ages - did he flounce? Hope not...

TV - I agree you are well dodgy

I still want to know how you can tell if a poster is male or female?

BluddyMoFo - Found out!

(Wanders off to change name to MrsFluffyWuffy or some such.)

Got my first from TechnoViking

Ah happy days

Rycooler - me too. I spend my time on MN on things that intreast me not about parenting

MrGin- see MN is for everyone

DH recently joined. He's well dodge.

I still want to know how you can tell if a poster is male or female?

references to DH or DW are most reliable indicator, or 'he/she' relative to DPs.

Wouldn't guess based on anything else, personally.

The strength of this site, and it's rise to stratospheric success, is that it is dominated by strong intelligent women - men dominate everything in this world - it would be nice to have a tiny part of life just for us - if more and more men join it will lose something. I'm not sure what it will lose but it will lose something.

rycooler, erm ok.

I think that, due to the site being created by women and primarliy populated by women the blokey aspect is kept in check. Most of us are respectful of the parenting point of the site. As long as that is held up, this site won't loose anything.

But i could be gay and have a DW or be a man and have a DH, so it does not always work that way.

Much perfer for the men to put sir,mr,boy,man in the nn to make it easier.

Not that i think there is anything wrong with men posting.

Fair point Cheep.

If you can't tell and there's no hints, does it matter?

rycooler isn't that just reverse sexism ? Don't feminists strive to stop men only private clubs and the like ?

I used to post on a male dominated sports car forum, even they for all their sexist attitudes would have been horrified at the idea that women be excluded.

No i guess it doesn't matter but i would hate to upset someone by not knowing and then post something totally stupid because of it. Such as a male poster asking about the best shaver and i tell him to get veet as its much smoother!

No such thing as reverse sexism. Sexism doesn't go one way, so there's no need to call it "reverse".

ok, sexism

It could be perceived as sexist - but I've never had a problem with men only or female only clubs - we are different and our differences should be celebrated and respected - throwing us all together 24/7, 365 days of the year will drive us all insane - that's where we've gone wrong. We need our own spaces.

I agree rycooler, it might seem contrary to my original post but the fact that the site is dominated by women is what makes it what it is. Whilst not averse to men joining they need to prove they're worthy and here because of the female perpective, value it and appreciate it! If it became a free for all it would lose it's purpose and identity.
DH did actually say that, he wants to believe this is a place that women can come and chat and not be harassed. Which it is, largely. Yay for mumsnet!

Cheep - in that scenario the onus would be on the questioner to mention any salient facts.

Do the men here have any issue with female being often assumed as the default on MN? Maybe (being nice chaps) they realise women have to put up with the reverse assumption all too often and grin and bear it.

I think it is sexist.

I also think if you put a large group on women in a room there will be bitchness and back stabbing and more so if the women are pg or on - i grow up with three sisters and it was hell.

Put a man in the room and all the single women will be all over him and the married one's will contiune to be bitchy - it would be very scary for the man

If we all acted like adults and respected each other, we could have some intreasting debates and maybe learn from them.

I'd argue that we should also celebrate what unites us. In the world of parenting men tend to be regarded with suspicion, the SAHD's I know have spoken with sadness at never really being accepted in mum's groups. Being excluded here too would be a great shame IMO.

I think if women rightly want to be treated equally in the work place and in general life they should do the same with men who choose roles traditionally associated with women such as bringing up children and looking after the home. And this forum is a very good place for parents of either sex.

If you say 'no men here' where do we go ?

I have frequently read a female poster expressing thanks at getting a male perspective on a matter. And vis-a-versa.

"If it became a free for all it would lose it's purpose and identity."

Its a public forum - there are no gender tests done before you sign up!! On the whole I fully accept the majority of posters will be female.