to think SOMEONE must be able to help a desperate child?

[crispface]

am posting this on behalf of another mumsnetter whose son lost his favourite monkey over 2 years ago, and still cries for him.

The monkey has been discontinued by the white company, and no amount of desperate searches can help.

Now mumsnet is a big old world - can ANYONE help a poor little lad and make his christmas?

picture here

The fact that DS didn't get attached to a particular toy at an early age was one of the signs of his autism. Not that that's anything to do with being well-adjusted. And autistic children often have a place for "objects" in their minds where concern for people might be in an NT child. So it's very difficult to generalise about these issues.

Wish I was going out tonight spiderpig - have a nice evening

The beauty of printing things off for the future cheese is that you can lop of certain posts that (try to) put a downer on this beautiful thread . Chop chop, bin bin.

winteriscoming my son didn't get attached to a certain toy when he was a tot, he's almost 5 now and has never been attached to a particular toy, he's never had a favourite, he's also hfa/as, I didn't think about it being related to autism though until I read your post.

I have a problem with this OP.

I think a child being in a 'desperate' state because he's lost a toy is a bit of an exaggeration. 'Sad child', maybe, but 'desperate'? A child who's mother has died is probably 'desperate'. A child who's lost a soft toy is 'upset' (and will probably get over it fairly soon).

It's all about context, isn't it. Words have shades of meaning depending on their context, and in this case the child is desperately missing his monkey. In this sentence it means something totally different to a sentence relating to a neglected/bereaved/starving child but the meaning is accurate all the same. It's all part of our wonderfully rich and versatile language...

I ahd a blanket I lost when I was about 8. I cried myself to sleep for what now seemed like months, but maybe it was weeks. It went missing when I was on a sleepover, and I'm pretty sure the other mum hid it because she disproved. I would go around every day and ask if they had found it, and my mum would sometimes take me in my nightie when I couldn't sleep to ask if it might have bee found it. It eventually turned up though, and I once again slept well.

God I loved that blanket (The remaining threads are still in my bedside table drawer, but they no longer provide the same comfort ). Some people just don't realise how attached children can be to special objects, and how much comfort they provide.

But we'd try to support a child after a bereavement, as in losing a parent. Why then, can't a parent support a child through the loss of a cuddly toy in much the same way, with a similar message that the toy isn't going to come back?

Some of you lot need replacement hearts. Pronto.

This is the loveliest thread I've read on Mumsnet in a while. Not everything has to be a bloody bunfight y'know.

Quite agree stealth its always the same on aibu. People just can't help but bitch even on a lovely thread like this :(

Fantastic thread! Can't wait to hear all about the reunion.

Bah humbug to all the negative posters! You all need to get some idea of the nuances of language. It's a similar thing to when somebody says, 'I've had the worst day, my husband's cheating and the roof fell in.' 99% of MN give advice and support but along come a few who start with the 'how can it be the WORST day? You've at least got a roof albeit on the kitchen floor. YABU for moaning when other people don't have a roof or husbands attractive enough to pull someone else.'

Anyway- hooray for such a lovely story!

Ignore the haters, op, you did a lovely thing.

What a bloody lovely story! And very funny about the roof on the kitchen floor!
Hurray for the happy mumsnetters!

spiderpig maybe you remembered wrong? Or she did? Being a consultant I imagine that she will have studied this stuff a long time ago. I've recently left uni. My friend is a psychiatrist and from what she told me they don't spend much time studying things like attachment, there focus is obviously much more medical and a child with attachment issues is unlikely to be referred to a psychiatrist, more likely and clinical psychologist or a psychotherapist.

I don't think not being attached to a toy is a bad thing either, or a sign of anything wrong. I remember the lecture so well as I called up my parents after to ask if I had a special blanket or soft toy when I was younger and apparently I did not.

Is there an update on this anywhere? i want to see the pictures!

Me too! Heard there was an update but couldn't find it

There was a lovely heartwarming ending thread ( can't find it at mo)
Lovely MNetter sent one, and Santa delivered it Xmas afternoon much to son's and grandfather delight:)

I found the update! Here it is, for anyone who hasn't found it yet. It made it into Classics, yay! Warning - have your tissues ready!

Monkey reunion

Did I see someone else had the same Monkey?

I've a little girl who loves hers and its falling apart. I'm wondering if I can secure a backup for the inevitable loss?

I'm sorry, I must be heartless/ a hater/ autistic or any of the other insults levelled at the people who don't 'get' this level of attachment to a soft toy; just get her to start varying her comfort toy now....why would you want to encourage her attachment to one toy, and set het up for the inevitable

I have this monkey!!! It is in the loft and we are going on holiday in an hour but pm me your address and I'll post it on my return!! X

I have this monkey!!! It is in the loft and we are going on holiday in an hour but pm me your address and I'll post it on my return!! X

Mmn, this was a lovely thread, but was effectively finished a long time ago, with a great ending. Why revive it now Bejeezus

i didn't revive it....

Sorry, no you didn't. Twas the poster before My bad.Bejeezus

I've never seen 'Autistic' used as an insult in that way, tbh .

It wouldn't even be a reason not to have attachment .