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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want DS to wake up in a hotel room on Christmas morning?

116 replies

witherhills · 15/11/2011 14:47

We go to my parents-250miles away
DS is 4
My DH finds Xmas a bit too much, so doesn't want to actually stay with my parents, and not much room anyway.
We have just been let down with serviced apts we usually use.
Alternative is a hotel in city centre.

Am I being precious? or shall we just get up and say Father Christmas came to hotel for you?

I love going to my parents, but I really would like Ds to wake up in his own bed.

OP posts:

mumblechum1 · 15/11/2011 16:59

I wouldn't squeeze in at my mums if it meant my dh was unhappy.

Why should his feelings not be taken into account?

MardyArsedMidlander · 15/11/2011 17:02

When I was a child I was thrilled beyond belief to find out that some lucky people actually lived in hotels! It is still my ambition.

Don't forget the hotel will also be all decorated and have a big tree. I think it could be magical- and relaxing for you all.

allhailtheaubergine · 15/11/2011 17:04

My children (5 and 3) think that staying in a hotel is the best thing ever. Room service food, watching tv in bed, the little fridge, sleeping in the same room as Mummy and Daddy - the excitement never ends! All that and PRESENTS FROM FATHER CHRISTMAS as well - they may actually explode from pure glee. I think if you present it to your son as an exciting idea he will love it.

Laquitar · 15/11/2011 17:16

The one time that we stayed at a hotel on Christmas, the hotel had a massive tree and decorations in the breakfast room much better than the ones we had at home.

Your son will probably love it. You can download some christmas music and play it when you wake up, go to poundland and get something sparkly, just relax.

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 15/11/2011 17:20

The only thing I'd worry about would be sorting out the presents etc if you DS is asleep in the same room. You wouldn't want him to wake up to see it was just you or DH and not Father Christmas.

hifi · 15/11/2011 17:45

my dd,7yrs, has only had one xmas at home,6 years ago.we explain father xmas can only carry a few presents and we make a whole deal about it when we arrive home and she gets her presents the following morning.hide presents at the top af hotel wardrobe,leave out a bottle of beer,glass of milk,carrot and a biscuit for father xmas and reindeer.

Maryz · 15/11/2011 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedHotPokers · 15/11/2011 18:03

Am a bit that OPs DH is getting so much grief about wanting to stay in a hotel. Sounds like a fair compromise - he is spending all of Xmas with OPs family, and he is just asking for some peace and quiet now and again to get away from it all.

I have a very quiet DH, who doesn't come from a family of huge noisy family parties. I do. He really struggles with the sheer volume and madness of my family!! My family is all about the volume, spectacle, party, games, friends, family etc etc. DHs childhood Xmases involved opening presents at about 11am (we had opened everything by about 7am normally!), watching telly in silence (we have very little telly on Xmas day), eating lunch and going for a long walk, and then falling asleep in front of the telly at about 7pm (whereas we are just starting the evening celebrations!!!).

I once spent Xmas at DHs parents. Never again. But I also can't ride roughshod over my DHs need for a bit of peace and quiet!!!

So OP, to get to the point, your DS will be in 7th heaven. He will have you and DH to his self, in an exciting hotel, followed by a big family gathering. Perfect. Take him out the night before to look at all the lights, the hotel will have a huge tree, and it will be magical.

UniS · 15/11/2011 19:12

Christmas morning in a hotel- How exciting. DS would love it, he found the whole staying in a hotel experience pretty exciting on its own with out added toys.

UniS · 15/11/2011 19:18

just to add, pressed post to soon.

We stayed in student rooms on campus one christmas, in the same building as but not "with" my relative and large family ( who live on campus) . It was kinda handy to be able to disappear out the front door with DS at the point he needed to go to bed and not worry about the cousins bedtimes, Ds woke up earlier than his cousins ( we did hear them once they were awake, no missing 5 kids on christmas morning.) but was quite happy to watch Cbeebies with me for 30 mins before joining his cousins to see what had been left in stockings in the living room of their flat.
It was very exciting family christmas, but would have been murder if we had all stayed in relatives flat.

xmyboys · 15/11/2011 23:55

I think it's a great idea! Take se decorations, do some Santa snow footprints. You can make it special.
I am hoping for a last minute deal to escape with our two dc.

heleninahandcart · 16/11/2011 01:12

Father Christmas has made sure he visited DS all over Europe. He is especially good at squeezing in through hotel kitchens and the chimneys of ski chalets. Somehow he also managed to attach printed labels to DS presents actually addressed to where DS would be. We took a mini tree in suitcase and Father Christmas would usually drop a few presents in DS stocking and on the floor near the tree. Some of the best times actually.

tx12noone · 16/11/2011 01:39

I've had a few, scattered Xmases with DH's family, and I agree absolutely with your DH: a hotel room is vital. I need to get away from them. I love them all dearly, but I like to get in a taxi at the end of it all and be ourselves.

Every family's Xmas traditions are different, and some of theirs inevitably rub me up the wrong way. It's not hard to explain to a 4-year-old that Santa will come to the hotel, but I found it tough explaining why Santa brought a lorryload of pressies for the cousins and a small pile for DC. (It's not a difference of finances, it's a difference of beliefs about how much to give a child for Xmas! My god can those people shop.)

It's nice your DH comes up to your family every Xmas. I've largely insisted that we stay at home and create our own traditions. So meet him halfway. And for your DS, be ready to explain the gift-giving divide as well as the details of Santa taking the lift to the 5th floor of the hotel.

flyingspaghettimonster · 16/11/2011 02:37

So long as Father Christmas actually comes, he'll love it. I spent one Christmas with my real father in a hotel in Portugal, and all was fine until Christmas Eve when my little brother (age 4) demanded to know where my stocking was. My step-mother handed me a stocking and we went to sleep - at 5am he woke up and opened his stocking stuffed with goodies, then moved onto mine and said 'these like the sweeties you got at the airport, and this looks like your toothbrush...' my lovey parents thought at 9 years old I would be fine with receiving my own items in a stocking with no warning. Then when we did the main pressies he got a whole suitcase full of lego and I got a small brooch and told 'we couldn't bring all the presents here so you can get yours when we go home.' Fair enough, only there were no other presents. So long as you don't cheat him like that he will love the hotel room - my brother did. Either way, he'll remember it forever.

iscream · 16/11/2011 05:39

Can't you and your son write to Father Christmas and ask him to bring ds's presents to your parents home? Then after you wake in the morning and drive over right away for breakfast and stockings. The rest of the family could agree nothing is opened other than stockings before you arrive.
That's what I'd do. Unless you book a suite at the hotel, and can put his FC things out in the next room after he is sleeping?

I love hotels, and at age 4 he is still young enough to go with the flow.

ZacharyQuack · 16/11/2011 05:41

I don't think your DS will really notice that there is anything wrong about staying in a hotel at Xmas. At 4yo, he'll be all about the presents.

OP, aren't you the poster that had an extended visit from your MIL recently? It was very stressful for you, but you had to "suck it up". (forgive me if I've got that wrong . Isn't it time for your DH to take a turn at a less than ideal situation for the sake of you and your family?

cory · 16/11/2011 09:22

I don't think it matters a lot what solution you choose as long as you decide it is magical.

My dcs have never had one Christmas as we always travel to Sweden and celebrate with large extended family, which means we can't take their presents from us (not enough room in luggage and not time for all present opening when there)- also they don't have stockings, and they don't celebrate on Christmas Day.

So we've had to work out our own routine which is quite complex: but still magical.

wonkylegs · 16/11/2011 09:28

Haven't read beyond the beginning of the thread but one year we had to split the family over Christmas , mum took 2 kids to South Africa to see relatives, Dad stayed at home with me & my little brother who was 5 at the time. Dad felt he couldn't cope with Xmas alone so last minute (23/12 ) booked us into a hotel in Scotland for Xmas. We drove up Xmas eve afternoon and night to get there for Xmas morning - me & dad made an elaborate story up about Santa tracking our car all the way and smuggled in a stocking. DB loved it - the hotel staff spoiled him rotten and we had a lovely Xmas even tho only half of us were there. Didn't hurt that Scotland had lots of snow too.

grovel · 16/11/2011 09:35

I know where you are coming from but think you're taking an adult perspective. The whole hotel thing will be an adventure. You've said that Granny "does" Christmas well. Of course Santa can find him in a hotel (unless it's a Premier Inn where all the rooms are identical).

KittyFane · 16/11/2011 09:58

Your OP could have been written by me! DH doesn't like staying with my family (200+ miles away) either and makes a big fuss about uncomfortable beds and too much family drama (our family being ... ummm ... different to his). I am avoiding the conversation about what we are going to do like the plague. We had it together, just me, him and DD last year. I know what I would prefer. I think this debate is going on in a lot of households TBH!

NightLark · 16/11/2011 09:59

flyingspaghettimonster, what a mean thing for them to do.

Original poster

witherhills · 16/11/2011 10:21

FSM- that's awful, a terrible Christmas memory.
wonkeylegs, I love your story, your dad sounds lovely

Kittyfane- I think in your situation the only fair thing is to alternate, and I reckon it's your family's turn this year.
We have discussed alternating with his mum, but Australia for Christmas would cost an absolute fortune, and she only has a tiny place so would have to fork out for hotel, and he can never get the time off anyway, and you don't really want to go to Australia just for a week.
She has been here for Xmas, been to my family. She's the same, doesn't know how to handle the chaos.

Zachary- I did just have to endure 5 weeks of his mother, 5 weeks of biting my tongue, I think that means about 5 years before he can complain about my family! But seriously, it's really not worth it, the moaning and huffing and puffing about being tired, and needing rest, and his legs aching cos the beds not comfy, blah blah blah.

DH does actually enjoy the day, he is very social, no-one would know, but he is generally exhausted and it's not really much of a rest. He usually only has 2days. He just needs to be able to know he can leave.

OP posts:

LoveInAColdClimate · 16/11/2011 10:31

I think you could make it really magical - take some decorations for the room, maybe write to Father Christmas together to tell him where you'll be staying? Depending on budget, MalMaison in Liverpool is nice, and you may be able to use points/get a discount through work (we can, so assume they have lots of corporate deals). We stayed there around Christmas a few years ago and it was beautifully decorated and really festive. Have a lovely time.

peanutmakinalistncheckinitwice · 16/11/2011 10:41

witherhills am sure your DS will love it! as others have said a walk to see all the lights will be very exciting, hotel staff will make a fuss of him, sleeping in the same room as Mummy and Daddy, a few decorations, a christmas story and hot chocolate and am sure hell be so excited he may explode
maybe you could write a letter to santa with him to let him know he wont be at home, a candle or sign in the window is an excellent idea too!
Sorry your having a hard time of it too, my favourite christmas memories are going to church on christmas eve and the walk home with all the lights, looking out of the window for santa with my parents and thinking I could hear bells...the magical build up rather than how many gifts i got. I hope you all have a lovely magical time

2rebecca · 16/11/2011 10:50

If you want a xmas at home then stay at home and visit relatives later. We had 1 xmas with the kids at a hotel as kitchen being done up and not time to travel to distant relatives. It was a xmas package and the kids loved it as the hotel was geared up for xmas with carols, santa, ceilidhs, special food etc.
Staying at home can be nice too though. It sounds as though your parents have other guests so you could stay at home if you wanted.
Chat to a few hotels to see what they do at xmas.

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