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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In getting annoyed that a lack of a mortgage is given as an excuse for not leaving home?

53 replies

lesley33 · 15/11/2011 11:23

I am 47 and I know my generation has a higher proportion of people owning their own homes than there will probably be in the current younger generation. But I went to university and after people left university I don't know anyone who bought their own house straight away. Everyone I knew rented, sometimes for a very long time and at least for a few years, before buying a house/flat.

And yet I hear/read all the time - well he/she can't leave home as they can't afford a mortgage - usually with the implication that it was different for my generation.

AIBU in getting annoyed at this? I am aware that mumsnet seems to be full of people on a much higher income than average so I do expect postings of - well everyone I know was bought a house by their parents and I can't afford to do that for my DCs. But that really was the exception and preserve of rich people.

OP posts:
Abra1d · 15/11/2011 11:25

SOme graduates I know in London can't even afford to rent a room in a house anywhere within reasonable commuting distance of a job, let alone take out a mortgage! Often they are paid 'intern' rates for jobs: peanuts. It seems reasonable for them to live at home in these circumstances.

spicyorange · 15/11/2011 11:30

Depends on your circumstances really, we rented for a few years we got a morgage 4 years ago just before the recession. Think a lot of people now just struggle to get a morgage. If we had to go for one now we wouldnt get one. Ive left home at 17.

spicyorange · 15/11/2011 11:30

sould say i left home

TroublesomeEx · 15/11/2011 11:31

But you didn't need a 20 - 40% deposit to do so, OP.

My parents advised me against buying a house when I was younger. It was the worst piece of advice I have ever been given or followed, especially by two people who now own 2 houses outright!!!

I can remember when I was 18, there were 2 bed terraces in my local, very naice town advertised as "£99 down and move in". A £99 pound deposit on a house I could have bought on my own on my £10k a year salary!!!

DH and I have a combined income of nearly 5x that and don't stand a chance any more!

tardisjumper · 15/11/2011 11:32

YANBU. I graduated two years ago and have rented ever since.

I have friends who live at home claiming they can't afford to move out and mutter about us 'throwing our money away'. TBF their parents eventually cough up a deposit so maybe it is a good tactic!

wrt living within a commutable distance of london, you would need parents who live in London to make that work though. I struggled to rent a room so moved out to commuter belt and commute in. It's about taking responsibility.

AMumInScotland · 15/11/2011 11:32

I certainly didn't know of anyone who left their parents home and immediately got a mortgage. But I think most people could afford to rent and still save up for a deposit, which is maybe harder now?

mummymccar · 15/11/2011 11:33

I think it depends on the individual. I don't know anybody who can afford their own home (I'm 24) but a lot of us have moved out into rented accommodation. In areas such as London it'd be impossible to do that and I have friends there who all live with their parents. I also have friends who live with their parents because they are saving for a mortgage and it is the only way they can afford to do it. Some people have left home for work and house share, another girl I know lives at home because her mum isn't well. Another guy saved a deposit and then used it to buy a flat for him and his mum to live in because she was just about to lose her home. Of course there are the lazy people who won't move out because mummy does everything for them, but I don't think you can generalise anymore. Life is tough.

Original poster
lesley33 · 15/11/2011 11:33

I lived in London after gradutaing and struggled to rent a room in a house. So I applied for jobs and moved to the north where houses are much cheaper. Where my parents live you can buy a 3 bedroom house for £80k.

Yes houses are very expensive in lots of places. And people have always struggled to buy in these places.

OP posts:
StaceymAloneForver · 15/11/2011 11:34

rent is a lot higher right now than it was for the last generation AFAIK

we have 2 half decent wages and can only just afford rent on a 3 bed house for us and 2 dcs

TroublesomeEx · 15/11/2011 11:36

You are right Stacey. Our local paper is full of stories about how great it is to be a LL now because rents are rocketing.

Original poster
lesley33 · 15/11/2011 11:38

Look I know house prices and rents are very high, But that was NOT my post. My post was about people saying that if they couldn't afford a mortgage they couldn't leave home. Obviously if you couldn't afford to rent even with housing benefit, you can not afford to leave home. But not being able to afford to buy a house is not the same as not being able to afford to leave home.

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadow · 15/11/2011 11:40

These days kids seem to want to own property straight away and get into a tiff of entitlement that they cant afford it. When I was a student, I rented, and lived in flat-shares. Owning property did not enter my mind until both dh and I had stable jobs and incomes, long after our student days were over.

FreudianSlipper · 15/11/2011 11:41

it is almost impossible to go from renting to buying in london becasue it is so hard to save when so much of your money is going on rent i was lucky to be left some money to be able to put down a deposit i have a few friends that are stuck renting and they are earning way above the national average they just can not get a mortgage

i am 39 it was different, house prices were much lower compared to what most earn, we were able to borrow a lot more than what you can now but i do think it is now expected that you move in to a fully furnished home

i think yabu and why does it bother you so much what others do, i would be happy for ds to stay at home until he could afford to buy if he wanted to

TapselteerieO · 15/11/2011 11:41

You didn't read the article in Saturday's Guardian about rents being dearer than mortgages? (But not many first time buyers have huge deposits to put down) Renting is a nightmare, I absolutely hate it, having lived in 6 houses in 7 years landlords deciding to sell after 6 months, or renting for a little while before they move in, the cost of all those moves, the insecurity for my dc. I cannot blame people for staying at home! And maybe they are saving to buy, or rent, but at least their family homes aren't half empty

We have brilliant references from previous landlords but it doesn't mean we can get a long term let.

YABU

StaceymAloneForver · 15/11/2011 11:42

what i meant was that to rent these days is very expensive so you are unlikely to be able to rent and save for a deposit (which obviously most people want to do whether they want to buy straight away or not)

squeakytoy · 15/11/2011 11:43

By the time you have paid your rent, there is sod all left to save towards a mortgage, so it makes sense to stay in the family home and save up.

In my parents day, lots of people got married, and lived with one set of inlaws until they had got a deposit for a house.

umadoopaloop · 15/11/2011 11:43

SOme graduates I know in London can't even afford to rent a room in a house anywhere within reasonable commuting distance of a job, let alone take out a mortgage!

Yes, my sister's DD has had to move back home for a few months whilst she faffs around on an internship thing for a couple of months - i don't know how true it is but she's basically told her mum after graduating that her choices are to continue working in the coffee shop in her uni town on NMW or try and get some proper experience in the industry she's aiming for... meaning unpaid work.

she obviously can't afford to rent a room, so back to mum's she goes.

it's driving my sister nuts actually, the internship means her DD is getting up at 5.30am to get the bus there, and my sister works afternoon-late shift - sounds like a nightmare.

Bramshott · 15/11/2011 11:43

There are rooms in shared houses in my town (SE) advertised in the paper for £80 p/w so I don't buy this argument TBH.

bananaistheanswer · 15/11/2011 11:46

I moved out when I was 23, on a basic salary of £12K with a £1500 deposit secured on a £30K flat. I was skint for the 1st 6 years, but I am sooooo glad I took that option. That was 15 years ago this month. Applying inflation etc. to the above would maybe show just how different it is nowadays - not sure how accurate this is but £30k would now be £43K-ish, £12K would be about £17.5K-ish. My flat is now worth £110,000 give or take. I would never get a mortgage on the equivalent salary I was on 15 years ago. I'd not be able to consider buying this flat (which is perfect for so many reasons) as anything over £55K would be out of my league, unless I made up the shortfall with a huge deposit.

*disclaimer - I don't claim these figures are completely accurate, but they give a general indication of the difference between now and 15 years ago.

I'm still skint now, but for different reasons Grin

squeakytoy · 15/11/2011 11:47

There is also a severe lack of affordable housing too in this country which makes getting on the property ladder much more difficult.

QuintessentialShadow · 15/11/2011 11:48

My tenants have a 4 bed house with a garden, in London, near uni, for £1500 pcm. £375 pcm per person, which is just under £87 per week. Not buying the argument that renting is TOO expensive, and that landlords are laughing all the way to the bank. It is bullshit.

Where do they expect to rent and cant afford? 4 bed mansions in Richmond? (2500 pcm upwards)

RealLifeIsForWimps · 15/11/2011 11:48

Yeah, I'm not sure about rents being higher- how does that tally with rental yields being so low?

10 yrs ago, a 1 bed flat where I used to live was around £230-250/wk. I just looked on Rightmove and it still is.

Journey · 15/11/2011 11:48

It was different for your generation. Salaries have not gone up at the same rate as rent and the cost of houses. I can't believe you are so out of touch with the cost of living that you don't realise this. Why are you "annoyed"? It seems an odd choice of word to use.

QuintessentialShadow · 15/11/2011 11:49

10 years ago we rented a one bed flat in Lambeth, £120 per week.

takingbackmonday · 15/11/2011 11:50

YABU

At 23 I've moved home from London to Surrey to save up last of my deposit. I don't pay rent and parents v happy to have me there (suggested it). Most my friends are in a similar situation - finished Masters degrees, travelled, worked in London etc but life is getting more expensive and renting is throwing money away. If the parents are happy to have them there surely it's not something for you to be irritated about? I'll be home for a few months and save thousands for first deposit - it would be stupid not to.