Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

In getting annoyed that a lack of a mortgage is given as an excuse for not leaving home?

53 replies

lesley33 · 15/11/2011 11:23

I am 47 and I know my generation has a higher proportion of people owning their own homes than there will probably be in the current younger generation. But I went to university and after people left university I don't know anyone who bought their own house straight away. Everyone I knew rented, sometimes for a very long time and at least for a few years, before buying a house/flat.

And yet I hear/read all the time - well he/she can't leave home as they can't afford a mortgage - usually with the implication that it was different for my generation.

AIBU in getting annoyed at this? I am aware that mumsnet seems to be full of people on a much higher income than average so I do expect postings of - well everyone I know was bought a house by their parents and I can't afford to do that for my DCs. But that really was the exception and preserve of rich people.

OP posts:

FreudianSlipper · 15/11/2011 11:51

rents have gone up

18 months ago i put my flat on the market for £850 (probably would have got £800) a month for 2 bed flat in belmont, sutton i have just rented it out for £950

samandi · 15/11/2011 11:53

YANBU.

I left home at 18 (admittedly I came back for a couple of months here and there for the next three years, and my lovely parents were kind enough to store my stuff for a lot longer than that ...), but I basically lived in houseshares or with a partner (renting) for all of my 20's. It's only now (early 30's) that I can even consider buying a place. I certainly wouldn't have considered staying at my parents' house until now!

I can see why people choose to stay at home (if their parents are happy to have them) so they can save up a deposit quicker though. If it works all round, I don't see a problem.

whoopeecushion · 15/11/2011 11:53

OP, I am not sure why you are so annoyed about this. If people want to live with their parents, what impact does it have on you? Do they have to justify their choices to you?

I don't live with my parents! I just don't understand what the problem is if some people do live with their parents.

DamselInDisarray · 15/11/2011 11:54

I was wondering the same thing whoopee. Why does it matter to you, OP?

hardboiledpossum · 15/11/2011 11:55

A few of my friends are still living at home because after they graduated (in the last couple if years) they have had to take on unpaid interships so can't afford to rent. i also know a few people who are planning on staying at home until they can save up a deposit to buy. YABU, if people didn't stay at home then most wouldn't be able to save up a deposit while renting.

Original poster

lesley33 · 15/11/2011 11:57

When I lived in London 22 years ago I was paying £60 a week to rent a room in a shared house - and it was very difficult to find anything at that cost. There is no way I could save a deposit, so I moved to the north of England. Unfortunately rents in London have always been very high.

OP posts:

mummymccar · 15/11/2011 11:57

I think that for students renting prices aren't too different or unaffordable but for a young couple there is definitely a noticeable increase. We moved out of a house a year and a half ago. Noticed a couple of days ago that it is back up for rent - £75 a month more than when we lived there. This doesn't seem to be a one-off either as all the houses in that area have gone up about the same. It may not be a huge difference but the price before was top end of our budget so now we have been priced out of the area.

perceptionreality · 15/11/2011 11:59

YABU to be annoyed at what other people do. Some parents probably want to help their children - houses are extremely overpriced (far more than when you would have boguht yours) and everything is so expensive. They probably don't want them to waste their money renting if they could be saving up a deposit for a mortgage.

valiumredhead · 15/11/2011 12:02

I nearly fainted the other day when a friend told me how much rent she paid for a very modest 3 bed house - it's 3x what our mortgage is. I am VERY glad we don't have to rent.

You were able to move OP - lots of people aren't in a position/don't want to for all sorts of reasons.

OldGreyWassailTest · 15/11/2011 12:02

What's the point of leaving home (i.e. my son) to pay a high rent which means he can never save towards a mortgage? I'd far rather he stay here and contribute to the household expenses, save his money, and THEN leave home and buy his own place!

molly3478 · 15/11/2011 12:05

Its definitely way way harder to move out now and I am only 27. I movedin to a one bed flat at 7 with my friend the rent was 35 pound each rent a week and that was about normal. Now its way more than that here and I bought a flat on a 12k salary and it has doubled in price since 2003. It is way harder to buy and to move in to own place now in general even from 10 years ago.

Original poster

lesley33 · 15/11/2011 12:05

I guess when I was young I saw leaving home as an important part of growing up and more important than buying a house. My parents who are in their 60's also lived in lots of rented places when they left home and had kids.

Yes house prices are much more expensive now. But when I was young people complained about not being able to get a council house - unlike their parents. The only option because of right to buy usually being renting or buying - often ex council houses.

OP posts:

FredFredGeorge · 15/11/2011 12:08

mummymccar when we moved out of our last flat, the landlord put it up on the site for 100 quid more than we were paying - but the landlord didn't end up getting that, the landlord got the same as we were paying (we could've negotiated down a little had we stayed I'm sure) Don't landlords always advertise with some extra to enable haggling, and in the hope that maybe it rose?

valiumredhead · 15/11/2011 12:10

OP you are coming across as way out of touch with how high rents are and quite how much you need to put down on a deposit these days!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/11/2011 12:13

YANBU. But I think home-life is a bit cushier than it used to be. Late teens, early twenties I would have rather cut my own arm off than carry on living with my parents. The cost of independence was well worth it.

mummymccar · 15/11/2011 12:21

FredFredGeorge - that's what I thought he was doing at first (he always has been quite greedy and the house is NOT worth as much as he is asking for) but it seemed to be in line with what others in the area are asking for too. Haggling is always a good idea and we do that on every place we rent but you do have the risk that it'll get put up to the original asking price at some point (as has happened in our current house)
OP - yes I think that it is a great life lesson and I can see what you are getting at, but I think that a lot of people have made the conscious decision to work towards owning their own home rather than renting somewhere and then not being able to afford a deposit too.

JoandMax · 15/11/2011 12:36

I would rather my DCs stayed at home for a few years and were able to save a deposit than rent and get caught in that cycle....

We bought our house 2 years ago, it's a new build in a pretty crap commuter town but we couldn't afford to rent in London any longer - our mortgage for a decent sized three bed semi is a third of what we were paying for a small 2 bed house! The only way we did it was a big help from my Aunt and a special offer with the house builder - living in London we were only managing to save a pitiful amount and would of had a deposit in around 30 years

tripleZ · 15/11/2011 14:29

When I finally started a 'proper' job - as oppose to student jobs to pay for getting though university - I had to borrow yet more money as I needed first months rent and month and half for deposit and money to buy a rail travel card to get to work.

Cheapest place I could find without making it impossible for me to get to and from work every day - studio flat bit of a hovel. Couldn't find house shares - didn't have long to starting job many miles away from anyone I knew. Had to borrow nearly another 1,800.

Took 3 years of hard saving pay that and student debts off, another three to save bulk of deposit for our current first house.

So on one hand YANBU - as I and many others managed it but would have been great if I could have stayed at home and cleared debts and started saving sooner as life would have been much easier. As long as our DC didn't take the piss it would be an option I'd willingly offer them.

MistyMountainHop · 15/11/2011 14:33

yabu OP

sozzledchops · 15/11/2011 14:40

Why are you annoyed about other people's choices? It's not easy to get a mortgage and not every area has loads of places where you can rent and some people are on low wages and don't go to university where they maybe made the initial break from family. Why do you care?

toboldlygo · 15/11/2011 14:49

Rental prices are ridiculous - my rent is 3x what my mum's mortgage was on a comparable property. Meeting that cost means that there's nothing left at the end of every month to save towards a deposit. A deposit is what, easily 20k these days? For a shitty 'starter home' flat with paper thin walls in an unpleasant part of town? A couple of our friends have made the mistake of buying these, led to believe that renting was 'dead money' by their homeowner parents, and are now in negative equity with mouldy flats that they can't get rid of.

As it is we are stuck in a town we love but in a tiny house with no garden or parking, rent for anything with a postage-stamp garden and parking for one car is £250+ PCM more than we are paying now, average house price here is £220k.

It was very important for me to leave home when I did (17/18) but if I'd been able to stay I would have been very much better off to stay put and save. If we didn't have the animals we'd have moved in with MIL in order to save.

KatieMiddIeton · 15/11/2011 14:50

YABU if you are annoyed about other people's private business.

YANBU if you have children that won't move out and you want your home back.

trixie123 · 15/11/2011 16:27

rents are ridiculous but rental yields are low because mortgages are high unless you have owned the property for a LONG time. A 2 bed cottage next door to us rented for about £700 pm but the owner had had it for decades so was probably pocketing all of that. Our mortgage on an identical house was £1200 because we bought it in 2008. Obviously we wouldn't get that in rent for it but gives you an idea of the differential and also the low rent yields on most properties.

Original poster

lesley33 · 15/11/2011 16:39

It annoys because of the implications that I had it easier when I first left home - I didn't. It was during the boom of the 80's

OP posts:

ShirleyKnot · 15/11/2011 16:41

Ah but OP, the truth is that it is harder now than ever before - and it's only going to get worse.

Flip

1 2 3