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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the kids are still too young to be left "home alone" at night?

63 replies

SmallMachine · 14/11/2011 19:27

My kids (boys) are aged 11 and 13. Admittedly I have left them home alone for a few hours here and there for the past couple of years. At first no longer than half an hour - gradually increasing for longer. Last summer holidays I left them from 9am until 1pm to do a half day at work. I knew for a fact they'd still be in bed (or not long awake) when I got home. They know not to answer the door, they know where the keys are, they know how to use the phone and not to touch kitchen appliances etc and I always leave them sandwiches so they're not tempted to try and make their own whilst I'm out (although to be fair most 13 year olds should be perfectly ok with making a sandwich!).

I don't leave them on a night though or late evening.

I have been invited out next friday - to the pub, just a few drinks, home by 11.30pm. I can't find a babysitter however so have declined the offer. My friends are now saying the kids will be fine here alone until I get back as I've left them longer to go to work. One of these friends works for the social services and is also saying they're old enough to be left providing I don't leave them for longer than 12 hours??!?

AIBU to think leaving them from 7pm-11.30pm for a night out is different from leaving them 9am - 1pm to work?

Or am I being stupid?

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 14/11/2011 20:51

No way are they too young, one is a teenager for goodness sake, i used to go clubbing when my son was 15 and his brother 10. Not getting in until 2am.

So long as they are fed whats the worry. If you are home by 11 it's plenty early enough.

Signet2012 · 14/11/2011 21:24

I was regularly left alone for between 1 and 7 or8 hours when I was 12 but I was very sensible. My brother on the other hand couldnt be left at 17 as some disaster would happen. (flooded the bathroom/set the oven on fire/locked himself out naked/fell of a chair and broke his collar bone!)

Overnight I was left at 14 but I was more sensible then than I was at 15 once drink and boys had entered the equation.

somedayma · 14/11/2011 23:14

Keep your phone on you and enjoy your night, they'll be grand :)

valiumredhead · 14/11/2011 23:42

I was babysitting over night for a neighbour's children from the age of 14.

Ds's babysitter was 14 when she started with us, she is 18 now.

They will be fine!

BertieBotts · 14/11/2011 23:47

If they're going to be awake I'd say it would be okay. Asleep probably no. Probably because of the fire thing. I know it's unlikely but it's also not worth the risk.

15 is massively different from 13 IMO.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 15/11/2011 00:10

I think they're your sons, you know them best, and it's up to you when to leave them and for how long. You won't enjoy yourself if you're worrying anyway.

Janiston · 15/11/2011 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe · 15/11/2011 17:35

Could you maybe link such a story Janiston and then I'll let you have my view.

Bugsy2 · 15/11/2011 17:45

If you think they will be ok, then that is fine. You know your children best. FWIW, I think 11.30pm is a bit late - only because I'd think that they wouldn't go to bed & that seems really late for an 11 & 13 year old to be up.
Please make sure that they know not to answer the door, or peer through the letterbox. Also tell them not to answer the landline. If you need to contact them, call their mobile - or borrow a mobile & lend it to them. If they answer the landline & tell everyone "Mum's out" that seems like a bad idea.

maypole1 · 15/11/2011 19:02

You can leave them, but know this if anything at all happens and you didn't leave the children with out adequate supervision YOU will be held to task

End off

You have to consider the following you say your boys have a good head but at the end of the day are still children

Is a 13 year old able to discipline a 11 year old if he gets out of hand

In the event of a break in which I believe happens every 11 seconds in the uk is a 13 year old strong enough or mature to fight off a intruder

What happens if they start to fight?
Just don't think the age gap is big enough and I don't feel to fair to turn your 13 year old into the sole career of a 11 year old.

Please don't be tight at least arrange a sleep over or minder for your 11 old

AngelofTheLordiscomingDown · 15/11/2011 19:06

When we were on holiday once, I left my two (11 and 10) with a babysitter and my DD was furious because the babysitter was 13. She had been procured by an aunt. I think mny DD would have been all right by herself but bot with her DB!

exoticfruits · 15/11/2011 19:12

It depends if they are happy and who they can contact in an emergency. I would try it because you can't get a babysitter for a 14yr old, it would be too embarrassing for them.

bigTillyMint · 15/11/2011 20:01

Mine are 12 (in Y8) and 10 1/2(Y6) and are fine on their own for short periods of time, even in the evening. I would be happy to leave them 9am to 1pm, but I am not sure whether I have the guts to leave them on their own for a whole evening.

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