to be so annoyed with my partner??

[Firefly2]

ok so last week we had a girly football match to raise money for the school. We were short of players so my partner joined in. He was being marked by this girl who is a real attention seeker. during the match to mess about he grabbed her bib to stop her getting to the ball. She screamed out loud 'oi get off!' in a flirty manner and I am furious with him, 1) because he had no business pulling at another woman's clothes and 2) he knows how I feel about her and how she loves to think everyman fancies her. He claims he meant nothing by it but I can't help feeling annoyed with him!! what do you think? am I unreasonable for being annoyed with him?! Or does he deserve the silent treatment I am currently going for?!!

Of course YABU

He was playing a game of football for goodness sake

You sound like a loon.

Insecurity and jealousy are super-unattractive. Get over yourself. YABVVVU.

It was a football match not a nightclub.

yabu and very weird

Football is a physical game. Are you always so insecure with your partner?

Horribly unreasonable. It was a game, he wasn't trying to cop a feel in a nightclub! Are you generally jealous and possessive?

You sound very young. Are you?

Football is a physical game but he did this to mess about with her, not because it was part of the game. I am not insecure but annoyed with him because I know that she would have seen this as flirting...

I think you're in denial. You are very insecure.

I hope you don't keep guns in the house, you sound a paranoid nutter...

Are you 12 because that's how you sound.

why are you still with him if you think he would deliberately flirt with someone to wind you up?
sounds like your relationship has gone off track

For heaven's sake. He "grabbed her bib to stop her getting to the ball". Not the most flirtaceous move ever. He wasn't grabbing her around the waist or pulling at her skirt or groping her breasts was he? And "she screamed out loud 'oi get off'" - so then, not exactly "come on, catch me if you can?" YABVVU

As Toby said, jealousy is VERY unattractive. If you keep acting like this you will push your DP away.

OK, I think there have been some pretty harsh comments, (although I think also some sound advice).

It sounds like you are cross with your partner for being flirty with another woman, which is pretty understandable. However, the transgression sounds relatively minor, and jealousy is a very unattractive trait, as well as making you feel rubbish about yourself.

How does this event fit with the rest of your r/ship? Are you generally relaxed and secure with your partner, or is this the latest in a long line of events which make you feel second best and humiliated?

YABU.

I'd be cross about his lack of sportsmanlike behaviour.

Shirt-pulling (and therefore bib-grabbing) is a foul for which a free kick can be awarded. Very poor show.

A little bit of messing around at a charity football match. I wouldn't have thought anything of it, wouldn't have even remembered it a week later, let alone cared.

YABU.

A fundraising event that supposed to be fun - a bit of a laugh?
yabu

You clearly don't like the woman whose bib he grabbed. I think this is a large part of your problem here. Although the reasons you give for not liking her ("she's an attention-seeker") highlight your insecurity further.

YABU. Sorry you're feeling like that, but seriously, this is the sort of thing I hear from my year 8 girls. The world is full of women like you describe and if you can't deal with your feelings about them you're going to end up angry and alone.

1. because he had no business pulling at another woman's clothes and 2) he knows how I feel about her and how she loves to think everyman fancies her

First off - he was not pulling at another womans clothes - he was playing football and grabbed at a bib!

Secondly - the "he knows how I feel about her" suggests both a history and a dislike of this woman. Would you be giving him the silent treatment if he had "pulled the bib" of someone you actually liked and respected?

Finally so what if she "thinks everyman fancies her?" Why should that bother you? He is your partner - what difference does it make what she might believe?

You either love and trust him or you don't, who "she" is shouldn't make a difference - Hence YABVU!

tigermoll - generally we have a good relationship, I trust him, he is very supportive etc.. I suppose I just feel angry because I think that there was no need to pull at her clothes other than to have a laugh with her... this not being unreasonable in itself, but he knows what she is like - she is the type of woman who I would describe as a dog whistler (as per cosmopolitan!!) where she just thrives off thinking other people's DH/DP fancy her. and he knows that she makes me feel uncomfortable so I am thinking 'why flirt with her of all people!!'
I am quite willing to accept that IABU which is why I posted, so no I am not a total nutter, nor do I keep guns in my house....wierdly my doctor wouldn't sign the license....

Firefly I'm also a jealous twit on occasion, and I know what you mean. This is a bit silly though and I think if you read someone else writing it you'd think so too. Don't read Cosmo but I'm intrigued by dog whistler?!

haha well I guess from the comments I've got some humble pie to eat...and cook...and run baths..etc... oops! thanks for the honest comments peeps! WineandPizza - Dog whistler is a term to describe a girl that only other women pick up on (hence the dog whisle is only heard by dogs) she is one that is always after your DP/DH's attention by overtly flirting. Men do not notice what they are like (they cannot hear the whistle!) but women always know!!

Dog whistler? God, that is disgusting. Women really are cunts to each other sometimes.

OP, kudos for accepting the comments and that you are wrong. If I were you, I'd explain to your DP about this thread, and that you've realised you were being silly. And apologise.