giving money to the homeless/buying from ex offenders doing door to door.

[lynlynnicebutdim]

so, both DH and I are shirking from home today (hence me farting about on the interwebs) as we have the 12 week scan this afternoon. Someone just knocked at the door. I opened it and it was a young lad. He showed me a laminated card from some organisation (cant actually remember what it said) and explained he was an ex offender, and rather than going on benefits he was trying his hand at selling household goods door to door. It was all overpriced tat mostly but i bought something off him just to give him a break.

I closed the door and DH went off his nut at me about buying stuff from door to door salesman and how it was all a scam. I said that if it was one of us or our children in a situation like that, wouldn't he want someone to give them the benefit of the doubt and cut them a break. It must be soul destroying to be judged so harshly when you are trying to restart your life. This lead to a discussion about how he thinks it is pointless giving money to the homeless etc as they just spend it on booze/drugs etc and by giving them money i am just contributing to the problem.

my argument is that i don't deny that it is possible that the money i gave to the homeless guy on the tube last week is going to go straight into the pocket of the off-licence owner but that is not my choice to make. He has the choice to take the money and use it turn a corner, buy some food, book into a hostel, clean up, access help etc. My donation just gave him an opportunity. It is up the recipient to grasp it. 9/10 times the "wrong" choice is probably made but surely it is worth doing for that one person in ten to whom it makes a difference.

DH thinks i am being hopelessly naive and is annoyed with me. AIBU?

I opened the door to one of these about a year ago. He introduced himself as an ex-offender (mate at side saying 'he's been a naughty lad' as if this was funny / likely to elicit sympathy), said he was part of a scheme supported by the probation service and showed me his ID. It contained some info about him and a company name but nothing about the probation service, nor any contact number.

Aferwards I rang the probation service and they confirmed it was nothing to do with them at all.

A similar person turned up last week. This time no pretence of an endorsed scheme, though said he was an ex-offender trying to get back on his feet, just something that may have been a hawker's license - I could have designed, printed and laminated such a thing in minutes.

Not so concerned about this as he was just a person selling stuff, without any 'rehabilitation' moral blackmail. Not sure what advantage he thought the 'ex-offender' line gave him. In my case it just rang alarm bells due to previous scam.

If you want to buy the stuff hawkers sell, fine but I suspect much of the money goes to the company that runs them. There are more effective ways of giving to people in need.