Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to look for a new job?

36 replies

IAmAnEAGetMeOuttaHere · 13/11/2011 13:58

I am an Executive Assistant. I have over 20 years' experience, a degree and am part way through my MBA. I started a new job 3 months ago. The girl who did the job before me (Claire) was here for a couple of years. There was somebody here between her leaving and me starting, but it did not work out. She gave her a 2 week verbal handover. Obviously, she couldn't then do the same for me as she had started her new job. Fair enough. So, I started with no handover which was difficult, but I have managed.

However, my boss refuses to accept that Claire has left. Whenever I do something new, he insists that I check with Claire to see how she would have done it. He complains about things nonstop, for instance he says the coffee is horrible. He keeps asking me which brand it is, as it is obviously not the one Claire used. In fact, it is. And made to Claire's exact instructions.

Whenever I attempt a new piece of work, he says "oh, Claire had this fantastic spreadsheet that did all that, it was amazing. What I find, however, is that they are invariably half-arsed attempts at analysis that are never finished and only understood by Claire. So, he insists that - rather than me starting the work afresh - we get Claire in to explain it. I am sick of Claire coming in to the office to 'explain' things to me that I have been doing for 20 fucking years.

He doesn't trust me to do anything. He speaks to me like I am 5 years old. When I say, "actually, I know how to do this. I have been doing for years..." for instance, he'll say, "will you just let me finish". Then carry on explaining. It's ridiculous.

He had the nerve to show me how to book something online, something that I have been booking online regularly for about 10 years. Also, if I question something, he'll misunderstand and assume I do not understand the basics. Like, for instance, asking a question about a complicated pivot table and somebody saying, "well, you see all these little boxes... they have numbers in them. You can add them all up like this, see?"

He just doesn't listen. I don't understand why he is like this and what to do about it. As for Claire, she seems to relish her role as 'consultant' and is always trying to 'help' even though I don't need it. Last time Claire was here, she cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom. The kitchen was already absolutely spotless and sanitised. I felt completely undermined and insulted. She even replaced the cloths and sink sponges, even though they were brand new.

The thing is, my boss is a really lovely guy. He has been an absolute sweetie, but I just can't cope with him assuming that I am stupid, or whatever it that makes him behave like this. Also, if I hear the words, "well, Claire used to..." once more I think I'll scream.

What can I do? Should I look for a new job?

OP posts:
marriedinwhite · 13/11/2011 14:01

Well, you know why the last girl didn't work out now. It won't work out unless Claire become unavailable. Why does she keep coming back - does she want the job back.

SnapesMistress · 13/11/2011 14:11

Can you speak to Claire and ask her to stop coming in, I assume she isn't getting paid to.

I bet they were shagging.

ShellyBoobs · 13/11/2011 14:37

TBH your boss sounds like a complete cock.

Is he stuck in the past? I absolutely detest the boss/assistant thing, where the person in your position is treated like some down-trodden 'housewife' from the 50s. He should make his own fucking coffee and hire a cleaner if the kitchen needs doing.

He should be making use of your obvious knowledge and skills in a non-patronising way. I'm not surprised the previous incumbent left so quickly.

IAmAnEAGetMeOuttaHere · 13/11/2011 14:39

How can I say "keep the fuck away from my job?" nicely? Thanks.

She has a great new job, more money, etc. but I gather she is quite miserable. She doesn't get on with her new boss.

OP posts:
BarkisIsWillin · 13/11/2011 14:41

Seriously? You make coffee and are expected to clean the kitchen??? Biscuit in fact Biscuit Biscuit

StayingIncognito · 13/11/2011 14:48

Sounds to me like the boss didn't want Claire to go and she's loving being called back in - must give her a real sense of self-importance. I think you're going to have to be very frank with your boss and tell him how you feel.

Personally, I'm not overly impressed with Claire myself. When I leave a job, I always leave a full written handover and, if I had to be called back to explain anything, I'd think I hadn't done the handover properly in the first place!

IAmAnEAGetMeOuttaHere · 13/11/2011 15:05

Personally, I'm not overly impressed with Claire myself. When I leave a job, I always leave a full written handover and, if I had to be called back to explain anything, I'd think I hadn't done the handover properly in the first place!

Exactly! The handover I left for my last job was 72 pages long. She will not write anything down. if I ask her something in an email, she will call me back or offer to come in. Even when I say, "an email will do", she still insists on calling.

About the kitchen... we have a cleaner, but I like to keep it spotless so also do it myself.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 13/11/2011 15:10

The thing is, my boss is a really lovely guy. He has been an absolute sweetie,
That sentence makes no sense in the context of the rest of your post.
If the rest that you have written is true, then that sentence clearly isn't.

IAmAnEAGetMeOuttaHere · 13/11/2011 15:16

@ Nanny0gg...

He is lovely in other ways. For instance, offering to lend me money when my salary wasn't paid (didn't need it - said no), wrangling with HR to get my gym membership paid, even though technically I wasn't entitled to it, offering me as much time off as I want to sort out a personal bureaucratic issue (although I didn't ask), telling me I can take holiday at Christmas, even though - again - I am not entitled to it because I am still on probation. That kind of thing.

OP posts:
IAmAnEAGetMeOuttaHere · 13/11/2011 15:42

Hey, where've you all gone? Come back - I need help Grin

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 13/11/2011 15:53

So okay on a personal level, but management-wise fairly crap?
Sounds like a recipe for stress if you ask me, unless you can sit down and have a full and frank discussion with him.

IAmAnEAGetMeOuttaHere · 13/11/2011 16:17

Thanks Nanny. When I try to tell him stuff, he just doesn't listen. I told him that I felt undermined by Claire coming in every time I take on a new piece of work, but he was just like, "but, she's got the knowledge... and she just wants to help...".

I need to find another job, don't I? The thing is, I feel bad because of all the nice things he's done...

OP posts:
ZonkedOut · 13/11/2011 16:44

Sounds like you and Claire need to swap jobs!

MenopausalHaze · 13/11/2011 16:47

What an extraordinary story!

IAmAnEAGetMeOuttaHere · 13/11/2011 17:03

So, you don't think I'm being oversensitive or unreasonable or anything, MenopausalHaze? Sometimes I wonder.

OP posts:
LydiaWickham · 13/11/2011 17:12

Doesn't Claire's new employer get pissed off that she's swanning off during work hours to go to her old job to do work for them when she's not being paid by them anymore?

I'd start looking for a new job, I was a PA for someone who's previous PA (not the one I replaced but the one before) was 'perfect'. She left for more money too. Nothing I ever did was good enough.

Just go elsewhere, he'll soon learn he either has to match Claire's pay to get her back, or get someone who isn't Claire. But no need to put up with the shit for the next year or so for him to learn that.

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 13/11/2011 17:12

What's the worst that could happen if you said all this to him? Not a sarky question, I'm wondering if it would be worth a go as he seems to be a good person in other ways.

If the worst is you think he might give you a shit reference or refer to you as 'batshit IamanEa' for evermore, then weigh that up against the new job plan.

That all makes sense in my head btw Smile

IAmAnEAGetMeOuttaHere · 13/11/2011 17:16

I was a PA for someone who's previous PA (not the one I replaced but the one before) was 'perfect'. She left for more money too. Nothing I ever did was good enough.

That is exactly my situation! What did you do, Lydia?

What's the worst that could happen if you said all this to him?

I have tried, but he doesn't listen. He just dismisses everything I say, or ignores it altogether.

OP posts:
Mandy2003 · 13/11/2011 17:16

So why did Claire leave?

IAmAnEAGetMeOuttaHere · 13/11/2011 17:17

So why did Claire leave?

$$$.

OP posts:
SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 13/11/2011 17:22

You say you're on probation? Are you having regular meetings? I think you need to formalise this a bit more. In general, do you feel he's satisfied with your performance?

IAmAnEAGetMeOuttaHere · 13/11/2011 17:25

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood, we meet every morning in his office for a coffee. He analyses everything I have on my 'To Do' list, micromanages my time and messes around with my Priority List. Then he'll moan about the coffee, ask me if it is the same coffee that Claire used, then I'll go back to my desk and we'll get on with our day.

Shit, that sounds bloody miserable, doesn't it?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 13/11/2011 18:00

You need to go.
And as soon as you've secured a new job, tell him exactly why you're leaving.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 13/11/2011 19:29

I would definitely look for another job. No one will ever match up to Claire. I had similar in a job I had years ago where the girl who did it previously side-stepped into another job but there were certain areas of my job that she wouldn't relinquish. The boss thought she was wonderful. I found out after a few months that she was shagging him.

nomoreheels · 13/11/2011 19:53

If you can't be honest with him because he'll take it badly, get a new job before saying anything. Otherwise you may be stuck in a frosty situation until you either a) get a new job or b) feel obliged to leave even though it's not your fault.

It's like living with the ghost of an ex, bloody awful!

Swipe left for the next trending thread