to be a bit shocked at pil comments, about an asian family

[CarrieInAnotherBabi]

they said, that some people who live on there street, an asian family, had some pizzas delivered. and that they couldn't believe it, as you would think they'd have a big vat of curry delivered wouldn't you??

a saying this in front of our dd
b trying to get us to agree with it

they are often coming out with all sorts of weird stuff

they are obbsessed with overweight people.
they say that when the are in mcdonalds[barf] and they see really fat people eatting allsorts that they feel like saying to people, you shouldn't be eatting that....
and asking us if we get the urge to say something to these people
i can honestelt say ive never even thought that about someone let alone felt the urge to tell them they shouldnyt be eatting something.

They sound rather dimwitted and narrow minded TBH.

YANBU

Sounds like my PILs. I posted recently about FIL calling me a Paddy (I'm Irish), and calling the next door neighbour a "cufflink" (to rhyme with chink, as he's Chinese). Both of them are incredibly racist, FIL more so than MIL. What pisses me off more though is that they keep commenting on how the Sikh people who live near his mother are so lovely, as though that's a huge surprise. It's just so patronising and small minded and it drives me nuts. They try to get me to agree with their views but I openly make fun of them and I don't care what they think of that. In the future once DS understands what they're saying I'm going to make a point of telling him not to listen to what his GPs say about other races as it is wrong to judge others on where they come from or how they look.

My mother on the other hand comments loudly on fat people whenever she sees them. One of these days she's going to be a smack in the chops from someone.

i worry they will give dd a distorted view on body shapes.

mil always says how "disgusting" it is that shes 10 stone, shes about 5ft 4 and over 60, so although probably at the top of her bmi.
but still a healthy weight and not over weight.

Next time they say something like that just say "Why would you think that?", if the response is equally unpleasant, "Oh how very narrow minded of you".

I too get the urge to ask fat people why they are eating shit food, seriously they are a heart attack waiting to happen. I know someone who put on 3 stone, he just had a heart attack at aged 38, needed a bypass. Fat people do need telling.

I have a uneven relationship with my SD (putting it mildly) and one of the reasons is he is disgustingly racist. I just won't listen to it - challenge him every time but often cut visits short as I don't want to engage with him.

A few months ago I said 'you do realise when DS is old enough to understand your views he will want to stop seeing you, and I will absolutely support his decision.' Which I think has actually hit home. DS is at a hugely multicultural school and is best friends with a UN of kids - he just won't entertain the suggestion that he's some way better, worse or different. SD has definitely toned it down. You can't make someone change, but you can show them that the world around them has changed, including their DGCs.

fat people do need telling?! Are you serious FabbyChic?! What other people weigh or what they eat is absolutely no business of yours!! And they absolutely do not "need telling"! How utterly rude!

PMSL at "fat people need telling"
Come on everyone "tell" a fat person. The obesity crisis solved by fabby. Of course cocaine use doesn't strain the heart at all...

Ha ha. I love Fabby!!!! Always good for a chuckle, like reading the Daily Mail!!!

I'm fat. I also have an autism induced eating disorder. I visit a specialist every week and work really hard at keeping it under control as much as I can. It's like pushing water uphill with a fork. But I never give up trying. I have people lecturing me about my weight and diet all time. Complete strangers feel the need to 'tell' me too, although strangely enough, only when I'm alone, never when my husband is with me.

Does it help? Does it heck. It's sets me back months or even years. A whole year once working on being able to leave the house and eat something in a public place, only to have some muppet come up and tell me I shouldn't be eating that.

See how far you can walk in my shoes before you pass judgment.

"... autism induced eating disorder ..."

Really?

Nah, she's probably just making it up. The fat cow

I have heard similar remarks OP, but about strangers who are supposedly 'obviously poor' that a family member has seen in MacDonalds, and how they should be spending that money more wisely on vegetable stew as they are too poor to go to MacDonalds.

Kladdkaka

Shame there's ignorance around here, eh?

Pendeen eating disorders and autism have a very well documented link. The presence of an eating disorder in adults is one of the flag raisers for autism screening (here at least).

Autism affects my ability to recognise what my body is telling. I cannot tell when I am hungry. I cannot tell when I'm thirsty. I cannot tell when I'm full. I get totally submerged in my special interests and lose track of time and routines and end up not eating until I'm so hungry I can't stop.

I have hypersensitivity (common in autism) and as a result fixate on certain tastes or textures. I went through a stage once of eating nothing but lettuce for 6 months. Became skin and bone and stopped menstruating. I went through another stage where I became fixated on the texture of St.Ivel Gold and would eat it out of pot like yogurt until I was sick.

Currently I am working on the problem I have with eating dry knäckerbröd (ryvita sort of things). It's not the food. It's the sensation on my gums as I bite through them. I eat them until my gums bleed and then some more. It makes me cry but I have no more control over this, a form of stimming, than an autistic person who rocks or flaps. :(

pendeen your point is?

Kladakka my sis is severly autistic , she grazes like a cow, and my mum is trying to get her to diet, i dunno how tbh, so I can see where you're coming from.

X-post and should have remembered klad doesn't need me putting my oar in . But thans for the insight as always.

I just took it then Pendeen didn't know. A lot of people don't know. I didn't know until I was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and got sent to a specialist clinic for autistic people with eating disorders.

I've just looked up some figures for you.

90% of people on the autistic spectrum have a significant eating disturbance (DeMayer 1979).

Autistic people make up 1% of the population but account for 18-23% of the cases of anorexia (Attwood 2007).

That is really high. Is it considered to be purely about sensory elements of autism, or are there commonly shared psychological traits between people with autism and NT people with anorexia?

I hope that isn't a rude question.

If I'm reading it correctly there are lots of shared traits such as obsessive compulsive behaviours, focusing on minute details rather than the bigger picture and ritualised extreme routines. I'm not an expert on the sciencey part. I just know what it means for me.

My husband, also autistic, eats nothing but oranges (by the ton load) all day until he has his evening meal. When he has this, he deconstructs it and eats it in order of preferance saving the best for last. So if he has a plate of stew he will have to sort out the carrots to one side, the potatoes to another, the chicken over there etc before he even tastes it.

my cousin is autstic and her eating habits are a symptom of her autism. she is over weight and really struggles to keep it down but cant.