to have said something to my friend re: calpol use?

[Piggyleroux]

I am a bit worried that I have messed up here by not being able to keep my gob shut.

I have just got back from staying with an old friend for a week. She has a 7 mo dd. we have known each other for about 20 years (college together) so have a solid friendship (until now possibly).

Basically, she gave her dd calpol every day at least twice because she is teething. She said that she gets through at least a bottle a month because of teeth, colds etc. Her dd has had a cold pretty much since she was about three months old which I wonder if it is due to having so much pain relief it is affecting her body's inflammatory response.

I said this to my friend who shouted at me and asked me what to suggest if her dd was in pain. My dh is a doctor so i have a little knowledge about medicine and now that it can cause harm as well as good. This was on thursday, I left yesterday and the atmosphere was a bit frosty.

Aibu to have said something to here?

Mine was one of those children who were prescribed large continuous doses of paracetamol for chronic pain, but tbh I was never particularly comfortable with it, always worried in case of longterm damage to her kidneys and very relieved when dd decided that the paracetamol wasn't doing anything for her pain and she would rather stop it and have CBT.

yabu
Firstly, it was not your place to say anything.
Secondly, calpol is a pain relief medicine- she was using it to relieve pain for her baby. She was well under the max dosage- presumably she was using it at night to help the baby sleep.
We sometimes use loads of Calpol, sometimes go months at a time without needing to touch it.

Paracetamol won't hurt your kidneys. It's the liver it buggers in overdose

Some babies have convulsions if their temp goes much above 38. Not much point in them waiting for the temp to be over 40

They put those leaflets in the box for a reason you know. Glad we spend so much time ensuring they're in the medication when we hand them out. You obviously all read them!

But the leaflets do say not to use for more than [some number... don't have a bottle to hand right now] days in a row without seeking medical advice, don't they? At least, that's what I remember from... umm... reading them.

But there's been no mention of a discussion from the OP about whether or not her friend went to the GP over this. Perhaps she HAS discussed it with her GP or practice nurse or qualified medical professional.

Again, OP doesn't have all the facts available to her, and then she made a ridiculously judgemental comment based on imaginary qualifications apparently bestowed upon her by placement of a wedding ring.

sorry yes you're right, Bitdifferent, it is the liver, I knew that; why did I write kidney? could it be that I need to go...

Yes to check there is no underlying problem, it still gives the safe dose to give and what the side effects are and how dangerous an overdose is. I see loads of people on max daily dose all the time. Admittedly the elderly (I don't do children, just 3 of my own). OPs DH probably prescribes loads of the stuff to his regulars on free prescriptions.

Oh yes, I agree OP shouldn't have stuck her oar in as she did.

But at the same time, while the thread's moved on to general questions of whether long term use of Calpol is safe (yes, in general) and might be linked to development of asthma (possibly, according to at least one study) it's worth noting that the same guidelines do say that anything more than a couple of days' use should be under medical advice. Often a doctor will be perfectly fine with it, but there might be something that a medical professional will spot that means further investigation is advisable.

It does seem a lot to go through a bottle a month but 2 doses a day is not an overdose. Perhaps if you had expressed concern about her health and needing medication so often you would have less unreasonable. I agree it would be worthwhile getting the child checked over before continuing medication.

Paracetamol is not an anti-inflammatory so would not affect the inflammatory response. There are studies suggesting that children who have a lot of paracetamol are more prone to asthma. However I don't believe it is clear wether it is the paracetamol causing asthma or more a case of asthmatic children being more prone to chest infections and therefore more likely to need paracetamol. Asthma is after all usually diagnosed when they are slightly older.

OP, I think I would have been offended had I been on the receiving end of your advice. Hope you are going to apologise to your friend.

Maybe she needs some support rather than a lecture on her parenting? Does she normally shout or could she be in need of some TLC herself? Can't imagine a baby that has been poorly for months at a time sleeping well.

What does your husband - the actual doctor - think?

If she is in pain and needs it then your friend is nbu. If she is giving it just in case then she is bu.

I'm not sure if YABU. My twins have been in nursery since they were 9 months old and have picked up everything going. The first year I was lucky if they were in for half the days I paid for on a weekly basis.

They are 2.10 now, and I have finished one bottle of Calpol and one of whatever the ibuprofen one is.

Funnily enough though, OH always asks if I want to give them calpol if they cough, or sneeze or if they look like they are getting a cold. IMO, unless they have a temp or are clearly in pain there is no point.

Calpol is very safe as long as you stay within the recommended dosage.

I used to get through bottles of the stuff when both dcs were little because they'd go from one cold to another, ear infection, sore throats, teething etc.

A bottle of Calpol goes nowhere if you're sick regularly.

a bottle a month at 7 months is a lot. It's not meant to be used daily, more when the child is ill. I dread to think what her LO's liver function is like in blood results.

Yanbu at all - that kind of use is excessive

From the information in the OP there is no reason to think that the childs liver function will be affected by the calpol.

The advice about seeing a doctor is - as others have pointed out - in order to make sure that something serious isn't going on. Plenty of very small children are on regular paracetamol for pain relief. It is an extremely safe drug if used within the recommended dosage. Her child's liver function will be fine.

It's calpol. It's like the worlds tiniest amount of paracetamol in sweetened water. How the fuck is it going to affect 'her baby's inflammatory response' (do you in fact mean immune system? What do you actually mean, because for someone who professes some medical knowledge as a result of fucking a doctor regularly, you don't seem to be that with-it on biology). Some babies get lots of colds. Teething can go on for a while. Yes, it seems like a lot, but actually it's probably the most harmless thing she could do to deal with teething- certainly better than giving herself a nervous breakdown dealing with a constantly whining child. Do you know some people are prescribed paracetamol on a long term (several times daily) basis for various things without any concern for their 'inflammatory response'? And that NHS direct will certainly tell you to take it/give it to children as pretty much a first resort for anything at all? Or does your doctor husband not mention that bit during your medical pillow talk?

I haven't bought calpol/nurofen/anything for about 2 years now for my DC. Then in the last 2 weeks, DS2 has had 2 lots of anti-biotics, and got through (what I think must be the smallest size) bottle of calpol, and one 1/2 nurofen. This was on the advice of my GP. When he was still taking the calpol/nurofen after 3 days, I rang GP and she assured me he would be fine to continue taking it.

A bottle a month doesn't sound like a lot to me, but then as I said, I haven't needed to buy anything like that for a long time, and can't remember the doses for a younger baby.

OP I don't know if ABU or not, but I would apologise to your friend as you upset her, and I assume you didn't mean to. FWIW, when DS1 was a baby, a friend of mine used to CM a baby the same age (the DD of a close friend of hers), and was always giving her calpol 'to make her sleep' I politely questioned it, but she said 'it's the only way the little bitch gives me any peace'! Shocking, yes! But what could I do! I didn't know the mother!

Is there a competitive "I never have to give my kids medicine" thing creeping in here? Is it seen as yet another failing if your child requires calpol before the age of 2?

YABU. If my friend had insulted me with her judgemental, I'm more informed than you are attitude in a condescending fashion I would have given her the option to say it again in a less insulting manner then told her to mind her own business.

I don't interfere with my friends parenting in any way and vice versa. We all have our own little ways of doing things and respect each other's boundaries in that area. Nobody is perfect or has all the answers.

The fact you 'stayed' with our friend for a week suggests you don't see each other that often so why you feel you have all the information to hand about the child's medical history and involvement with medical professionals is beyond me.

Your friend's reaction sounded like she was offended at your interference and potentially a bit stressed at having to deal with her child's ongoing health issues. Being a friend means being there for her, not adding to her worries because you felt as a GP's wife that you had some kind of superior knowledge that you just HAD to impart to her.

I agree hidden