Ive just had a huge row with DS1 whos 18 and I'm really upset, I dont think Im being unreasonable but need to know am I? Its all about money.
Background - he works part time (a milk round before college, collecting the money 2 days after college) and gets £20 a week wages plus tips usually takes it to £50-£55 a week. Hes also got a college bursary of £75 a week, so altogether he gets £125 a week. Out of which he pays his college travel expenses (about £20 a week), his lunches at college for 3 days, its only food because we buy him a crate of flavoured water from a cash n carry at the start of the month to do him.
Up until this month we were also giving him £45 a month pocket money and paying his contract phone, about another £40 a month and buying all his toiletries, about £15-£20 a month.
I've just told him we are stopping his pocket money and had a whole lot of attitude. Dont get me wrong hes generally a decent boy whose not gave us much grief, but I probably do, or have spoiled him at times, I was a single parent before I met my DH who has raised him since he was 4 and he calls Dad, and I now have another 2 DSs who are 3 and 9.
We are not poor but not well off either - I'm a Nurse working Monday-Friday and DH works part time at weekends and is a SAHD through the week. He's recently just registered as a Childminder to try and up our income but so far has no children yet.
As everyone knows bills are just rising and rising. I warned DS1 that I would "fine" him £5 every time I got up during the night and found his TV on - he has a habit of watching TV in bed and falling asleep, therefore a complete waste of electricity, and our bill is high enough.
Well when I told him I was sticking to this "fine" as I was up at 5 this morning, his TV was on and he was fast asleep (we actually owe him some money so I will just take it off that) he's just accused me of thinking up ways to take money off him and that we should be grateful as we are saving money compared to when he was at school (probably true as we gave him £12.50 a week then for lunches).
Basically I told him if he thought he was getting a raw deal he should find somewhere else to live (the last thing I want), he knows he wouldn't be able to. And its about teaching himj to contribute to household expenses, for the first couple bursary payments I let it go as he was buying loads new clothes, as we don't buy him clothes (the stuff he wants is too expensive) apart from at Christmas.
But AIBU to stop his pocket money and "fine" him? I'm at the end of my tether regarding the TV thing as its all the time. I am still going to pay his phone and buy his toiletries.
Hes just apologised for giving me attitude which makes me feel a bit better.