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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in being cross with school for

61 replies

violathing · 11/11/2011 15:40

calling me from work at 1pm cos my DS4 fancied a sleep. They said he was ill and I rushed to school with a sense of urgency only to find him catnapping. He is singing and dancing now and generally rather pleased that he got to leave school early. SO so annoyed....

OP posts:
Mutt · 11/11/2011 16:38

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Sirzy · 11/11/2011 16:42

What mutt said.

If a child is that sleepy the school are right to send them home.

Cherriesarelovely · 11/11/2011 17:01

Children in Year R and on a Friday are often exhausted. I have taught YR many times and it is not THAT unusual for one of them to fall asleep. It's a long week when you are 4.

ConstanceNoring · 11/11/2011 17:05

" a 4 year old will try it given half a chance"

No, not really, they might not be able to help it at that age on occasion, but I wouldn't say it was normal for them to deliberately take themselves off for a nap, not at all.

Memoo · 11/11/2011 17:09

I have worked in reception and have to say there is at least one child every year that falls asleep in the book corner.

Some kids find it exhausting!

We use to just let them have a little nap though, certainly wouldn't have phoned the parents.

ConstanceNoring · 11/11/2011 17:16

I know of one who fell asleep in the nativity scene, cuddled up with a lamb Grin

Mrsrobertduvall · 11/11/2011 18:03

It doesn't ring true to me.
Most 4 yr olds do not drop off like that and do not articulate they are bored.

I am struggling with the word "cum".

HildaOgden · 11/11/2011 18:08

He needs to be medically checked out,in my opinion.Stop blaming the school,and the child,and find out why the child has so little energy after a 12 hour sleep.

Nanny0gg · 11/11/2011 18:13

If he was doing it every day I would be concerned.
Once? The school should have made him comfortable for half-an-hour. Ours does.

Portofino · 11/11/2011 18:17

Has he been checked for diabetes/other conditions? Agree with others - they should NEED the nap at that time - I would be worried if he was falling asleep in the middle of the classroom.

JaneBirkin · 11/11/2011 18:17

'Frustrating as it is, school is there to teach kids not baby sit them, therefore if they are not teachable (because they are asleep or what ever) they should not be in school'

You are serious I take it? The GOVERNMENT had the stupid idea that four year olds should be at school.

Mine isn't but the sheer STICK I have taken for holding him back for one term is astounding. 'Oh he will be behind his peers'. 'Oh he will never make friends'.'Oh we won't get enough funding'. (bullshit)
'Oh don't you think he will be happier away from you'.

This is a freakish thread. OP - yanbu at all, if the school thought he was ill, fair enough, I wouldn't be angry with them. However they ought to expect tiny children to fall asleep on occasion. Many still have an afternoon nap at this age, and have to relinquish it in order to be 'forced on' a bit, possibly for fear they will never grow out of it otherwise...

I despair sometimes. I'd let him stay at home next time he's tired though and please ignore the posters having a go at you or your son.

It's vicious tonight for some reason

Portofino · 11/11/2011 18:18

shouldn't rather.

JaneBirkin · 11/11/2011 18:20

I was told in an almost identical thread four years ago, fwiw, that my son must have something wrong with him if he was too tired in reception.

I read post after post just going Shock

I couldn't believe the dissonance between here and RL

Is no one else's reception child tired? Really???

JaneBirkin · 11/11/2011 18:21

(I took mine out btw and sent him back in yr1 when he was no longer tired. He is now 8 and absolutely fine with plenty of friends and not behind at all)

Mutt · 11/11/2011 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mutt · 11/11/2011 18:23

This reply has been deleted

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JaneBirkin · 11/11/2011 18:24

So bed at 5pm, up at 7am...the OP would barely see him.

He's clearly just tired imo, it's normal, school is knackering for many of the new ones, they usually 'cope' and this is perhaps his way of coping.

I'd prefer mine didn't have to cope, but went when he felt able to sustain and enjoy a full day. The difference between YR and Y1 children is remarkable in terms of physical and mental stamina

Mutt · 11/11/2011 18:25

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lugwump · 11/11/2011 18:26

YANBU (I presume is the FLA) unless child was clearly unconscious. Don't they have a school nurse?

How long has he been there? Do they know you/him? I think it is important to make sure schools know you are not the neurotic sort and are happy for them to use their common sense.

Call their bluff. Tell them you are an hour away.

JaneBirkin · 11/11/2011 18:26

and it's Friday!

and if they thought he was ill, he probably was extremely tired, rubbing his eyes, very quiet. I imagine, anyway.

I don't think the school was wrong to call the OP, tbh. I do think it's weird to suggest there's anything physiologically wrong with a tired reception child who falls asleep on occasion.

ScatterChasse · 11/11/2011 18:27

I had a four year old fall asleep in a dance class once. She was changing her shoes, I turned around and there she was with her head on her cardi.

I remember people falling asleep in the book corner when I was at school. And in sixth form, people were often asleep on the sofas in the common room. I doubt they'd had 12 hours of sleep the night before though...

But I think YABabitU, because if school weren't sure, they should err on the side of caution.

JaneBirkin · 11/11/2011 18:28

Well perhaps the OP ought to consider that he may actually just be tired.

Nanny0gg · 11/11/2011 18:29

When I was at school many, many years ago, aged 5, we all had to have a nap in the afternoon.
We even had little mattresses to sleep on.
Perfectly normal.

hockeyforjockeys · 11/11/2011 18:32

Don't they have a school nurse?

I've yet to come across a primary school that has a full time nurse, you'd be lucky to have one in the building once a year in my authority (height and weight check are the only time they appear).

marriedinwhite · 11/11/2011 18:33

Your son has been at school for less than two months. The teacher has had very little time to get to know 30 children and 30 sets of parents very well. At this stage in the relationship it was right to err on the side of caution. I would advise that you have a gentle word on Monday to thank the teacher for calling you and to let her know the lad was fine when he got home. Also explain that you think DS4 might fall "asleep" again if he thinks he can go early.

I agree with the teachers who say it's a hard call. I remember when my DS slipped in the playground at lunch time and didn't cry and didn't make a fuss and by afternoon play wouldn't get off his chair and go out. They called me and said they didn't think it was very serious at all but if I had time could I pop in just in case. I did and as soon as I saw his face (he was 6ish) I knew something was up. I had to wheel him out in his sister's pushchair and as we got through the gate he started to cry and said "I was a brave boy mummy, I didn't cry in front of them".

Minor injuries unit confirmed a broken ankle. The school was mortified - the head launched a full scale inquiry as to why it was missed and how it happened (it was an accident - nobody's fault!) - the staff were terribly upset and I ended up going in to see the head to say it really wasn't a big deal - and if he'd made more fuss they would have realised. I also sent in chocs and smellies for all the ta's and dinner ladies because they were the ones who had to work harder to sort him out for the following six weeks.