Should I chase up a colleague who never gave me my leaving present when I left 11 years ago.

[Noreturn]

11 years ago I left a company. I had a leaving meal and one of my senior colleagues did a collection for me. At the meal she took me to one side and said that she would purchase some gift vouchers for me rather than give me an envelope with all the change. She asked me which store I would like.
We left it that she would post the vouchers on to me.

A few months went by, no vouchers. My friend's mum works for the company and casually asked her about it, in case they were lost in the post. She implied that she kept forgetting, but yes she will get round to posting them.

Again, a few months went by, no vouchers. I then met her in a local town one day. I could see that she saw me from a distance and tried to nip into a shop hoping I did not see her. When I caught up with her she was all smiles and we had a brief catch up, she told me she was pregnant and filled me in about old colleagues.
She then said that she had been meaning to get in touch with me, she had some vouchers to give me but had lost my address! She then went on to say that she had used the vouchers as she was worried they would expire! It was ironic that the shop she had gone into was the one where the vouchers were meant to be from!

She asked for my address, said she would buy some more and post them on. I also said that she could always give them to my friend's mum to pass them on.

I have never received them. I have now heard that one of her children have started at the same school as my friend's child. My friend said that she can mention my name casually in conversation and mention that I never received the vouchers!

Am I being unreasonable to think that this woman she not think that she has got away with this. In truth, I had forgotten about it. It is not about the vouchers as such, but the fact that people have given to a collection for the collector to pocket the money for themselves. The company is big and without sounding big headed I know that there was probably quite a lot of money. I guess even after all this time I just want her to feel uncomfortable with what she has done.

This is an opportunity for me to bring up my 'gripe'. Some years ago, when Is This the Way to Amarillo was in the charts, I worked at a school. For a bit of fun, some of us did the Peter Kay sort of video. I did see it and some of us ordered a copy. I took a blank video tape to school and asked for my copy to be put onto it. I retired from the job 5 years ago and am still waiting for it.

I saw the organiser with the school minibus at a petrol station 2 years ago and mentioned it then. He, and the woman staff member with him, said that they would see to it. I also mentioned that I could now accept a disc recording of that bit of fun. You might think that it's not a lot of money but it brings to mind who you can trust, doesn't it?

And I hope they recognjise themselves from my post.

recognise

My boss did a collection for me 2.5 years ago when i went on maternity leave. She said at the time, she'd drop the gift to my house asap as it included clothes and she didn't want ds to grow out of them. I saw her several times during my ml, and i mentioned it every time, but she kept "forgetting". She had her own baby in august 2011 (when my ds was 2). I did a collection for her, took the gifts round and lightheartedly mentioned the gifts that ds and i never received....and she proudly held her newborn ds aloft and said "oh these were amongst those that i never got around to giving to you. Glad I kept hold of them"
I was gobsmacked! I have told most of my colleagues, in a half-joky way (although there was a team of 10, 2.5 years ago, and only 3 of them are still there) and one of my colleagues told me she put £20 in!!!! So...i have left it with her to raise when boss comes back in 2 months.
But i'm glad that you got a resolve, op! :)

I remember your origional post op and glad to hear she has called. I look forward to hearing future updates.

InWithTheITCrowd, I really hope she raises it with your boss and she feels shamed into buying your DS a rather large giftvoucher (hmmm, new bike or garden swing? seen as newborn clothes are a bit late!)

I recently took hold of a collection for a retiring teacher at DC's school (she had been there 42years) and only one parent donated £1!!! I felt so guilty I went and bought a large basket and filled it with treats such as scented candle (M&S, not jo malone!), bottle of fizz, chocolate truffles, No7 bath products and a book voucher... I figured after so many years she deserved a relaxation hamper. 5 individual parents asked if I just put the card 'from the class'?

OhTheConfusion

I bet she spent the vouchers! How much were they for? I wonder what she will do to put things right?

Thanks for the update :)

Thanks FlatBelly, how very kind.

No.

"Who knows what was happening to her then, maybe she needed the cash for reasons that you'll never know and is still embarrassed. "

Erm, not really the point if you steal. I'm all for a bit of bleeding heart liberalism but come off it, she stole a wodge of cash in a really weird, open way. She's had 11 years to decide to redress it and has chosen not to. I wouldn't go after it but I would have no moral conscience about making her feel bad as bloody hell about her actions. She SHOULD be embarrassed.

Ooops. I am so good at thread-reading normally .

11 years ago?! You need to move on and let it go....life is too short.

That's good that she phoned you and good that you are giving her the benefit of the doubt. What she did was wrong and it sounds like she knows it (how could she not!) and maybe she will make amends.

This happened at my old company. Woman was asked if she'd like to resign rather than be charged with theft and sacked. Alot of people are in dire straits at times but it doesn't mean you steal from friends and colleagues. Mind you, if the lady in the OP had a reputation for being ditzy and disorganised I'm surprised the collection was left in her hands.

I thought my friend had the best leaving present story, but that takes some beating.

My friend had worked at the same company for thirteen years and her DH works there too for an even longer time (lots of people there with them for all this time). When she was preparing for maternity leave, she sort of gathered in the background that there was a collection for a present for her. She had her DD unexpectedly a few weeks early so didnt have 'last day' at work. She was slightly hurt to not get flowers or a card or any congratulations from the office or to hear anthing. She went back to work 13 months later and a couple of days in the receptionist handed her a carrier bag with £30 odd in loose coins saying "oh we had a collection for you - it may have got dipped in to a bit, but here you go".

I used to work there myself and know for a fact that all the directors would have chipped in a £20 each, not to mention everyone else, it was that sort of friendly office and it could have been given to her DH at any time in the last year as he walked past her several times a day, every day!

Orm I am intrigued by your "no" can you expand, please?

This sounds like something I would have done in my 20s when I was exceptionally dizzy, due to lack of organisation rather than theft. Good on the ex-colleague for facing up to it. Let's hope she manages rather more than a bunch of forecourt flowers, though...

11 years ago!

I would issue a claim in the small claims court immediately.

i'm willing to bet that she found this thread.

Sorry. No, I wouldn't chase up a colleague who failed to give me some vouchers from 11 yrs ago. Better?

It's 11 years ago, you need to forget about it now.

She probably lost them and is embarrassed to admit it. I very much doubt she nicked them for herself.

Or perhaps she is trying to sheild you from the truth! Imagine the horror if you found out your collection actually amounted to 22p in change and a shirt button

THIS IS AN UPDATE - READ THE THREAD, PEOPLE!

Op glad she contacted you but I'll eat my own arse if she ever coughs up those vouchers

amazed she contacted you - good luck getting hold of the spoils.

I've been on both sides of this - about 5 years ago i had an internal transfer and got wind that my office colleagues organised a collection. I left very quickly so they hadn't got me anything at the time that i left. The gift never appeared and I never speak to those colleagues any more so I often wonder what happened to it, our dept was spread across the country and I know colleagues from other sites would have contributed and it's not their fault I never got it, they must think I'm rude for not ever saying thanks. Late one night I snuck into the office and there was a bag full of stuff for me but I just left it as I'd basically have been stealing my own stuff. It was quite a quandry. I don't care about the stuff but I'd have liked the card and the opportunity to say thanks.

On the other side I did Race For Life about 8 years ago and a few people sponsored me 'fixed price' and paid upfront. I only managed to raise about £20 and I did the run but because I'm badly organised I never paid it in. I've felt bad about it ever since and given many times that to Cancer Research in an attempt to make amends but I will always feel bad that the original money never made it at the time that it should have.

11 years - as in ELEVEN years? Are you seriously only talking about getting this sorted now? I am sorry but if this were true then you would have done something about it at the time. 11 WEEKS and no vouchers but 11 YEARS

This is nice. I am sure bumping into each other like that jogged her memory.

If you DO get the vouchers, I think it would be nice if you were to pass them onto a charity. Will make you feel even better about the whole thing, and your old colleague too. Unless they will really make a difference to your circumstances?

Pass them on to a charity? Why? They were the OP's leaving present. I bet they will be out of date by now anyway or the shops's gone bust...

Yes, 11 years is a long time ago but there are often sentimental reasons for thinking that at least the card would be nice to have (so you can see who bothered to sign it).

The reason I would like the Amarillo tape that I mentioned earlier (not a leaving present) is that my husband, who worked at the same place, was also on it and, unfortunately, he is no longer with us - and they know. I would love to have it to see him but feel that I cannot nag away at them. Shall I give their names to this thread?