AIBU keeping my daughters hair long?

[waybuloothebelt]

Hi, my daughter is 6.5 and hates having her hair brushed. It's just past her sholders at the moment. It's a very deep auburn, increadably thick and just looks gorgeous. She often wears it in plats which helps to keep it tangle free.
She keeps saying she wants short hair like a boy, despite being a very girly girl. She says it's because she doesn't like having it brushed. (She also couldn't, or wouldn't do it herself)
She did have it in a short bob for about a year, due to this problem. It was a lot easier, but just didn't look as nice. In the end, she chose to grow it because she wanted plats and bunches etc.
Now it's grown so much, and is looking so lovely, I really don't want to cut it short again. Is that selfish of me? (I know you'll say yes.) I also don't want her to say after another few months that she wants her long hair back, when she realises she can't have many different styles.
We use industrial conditioner, detangling spray and a tangle teaser (which only gets through the top layers.)

YABU, you know it as well, so I'm really not being contentious am I? If she wants it back in a couple of months, hair grows, that's the great thing about hair It will teach her about consequences nicely as well.

Yes it is selfish. Let her have it how she wants it. It is her hair. And it will grow back again.

Long hair for kids is a bloody nightmare, it is in their faces, it gets caught in things.. let her pick a (sensible) shorter style, that she can manage to deal with herself.

If she's old enough to understand that it will take time to grow back, then she's old enough to choose to have shorter hair.

I've found long hair is actually easier at primary age as you can tie it back which sometimes cuts down on nits. If your DDs hair is hard to brush/comb anyway, trying to get a nit comb through it would be impossible.

True. It's taken a year to grow it this long, as she has to have the undernieth so, so thined out to make the bob not stand out like a tryangle. Lol. I look at her hair now and feel a twinge of sadness at the thought of getting it cut. I probubly need a slap. No doubt I'll get one soon. This is AIBU afterall.

I don't think you are being selfish - well even if you are it's not really a biggie!

My daughter is the world's biggest tomboy but has beautiful long hair and no way am I cutting it!

I let her be her own person in pretty much every way but this one I ain't backing down on - to be fair she's not too pleaded with me to cut it so it's a bit different for you.

Btw - I begged my mum for short hair when I was 8 then was mortified as everyone thought I was a boy for the next few months. And I was a tomboy too - it still bothered me.

Oh, yes, I've had my slap already. Thanks squeekytoy. You are absoluity right though. I just need that push to get it done.

She has had nits before, it was a nightmare!! She is very tactile though and greats all her friends with a huge bear hugg. It was only a matter of time really.

Oh who cares if you are being selfish - just do what you want. Have to be some pleasures in parenthood.

OP, I have hair like your daughter's - although mine's not anything like as pretty a colour - and mine's nearly to my knees

Buy this:

www.boots.com/en/Denman-D83-Large-Paddle-Brush_1349/

Separate her hair into three's, as though you were going to plait it, and brush each section from bottom to top, with the brush as flat to her hair as you can make it. Then smooth it all back into one.

DON'T keep cutting it! The more you cut it, the more wiry it will become and the harder to manage it will be. If she keeps cutting it now, it'll be nightmarish when she really wants to experiment with it as a teen! I trim twice a year, that's it.

Good luck!

thank you, I'll give that a try.

Yabu, it's her hair. If she really wants it short, I would get it cut, although she won't be able to have plaits if it's very short. But I suppose if she's had it short before she understands that it will take a while to grow back again.

If you absolutely must cut it, have you thought of offering the cut part to the NHS to a wigmaker for those who have lost their own hair? Lots of people have lost their hair through illness or other conditions. I don't know about requirements or anything but I had about 3 feet of hair cut off nearly 30 years ago and regret not going down that road. Bit like donating other things but it would be making someone's life happier rather than saving a life.

I think the only reason she wants it short, is so that it doesn't hurt when I brush it. I'll try the new brush and see if it makes a difference. If not, I'll discuss with her the limmited options for hairstyles, perhaps show her photoes of her hair when it was in a bob. If she still wants it done, I'll let her.
I was just looking at pics of her bob and it did look sweet. She looks quite a bit older with it long. (Although it was a year ago).

Wow, that would be an amazing thing to do! I think she'd feel quite good about that too. I'm not sure it's reall long enough for that, but I will certainly look into it. Thank you.

YABU - she's not a doll. If you want long, gorgeous hair grow your own (or get a wig). She's likely to spend much of the rest of her life thinking about her hair as away to visually please others. Let her be practical about it while she wants to be.

I do have long hair.

I think I'm going to have to hunt down her old hairdresser. She was amazing! She knew just how to get the bob right. She's left the old salon so I'll have to do some investigation.

It would certainly make our lives easier. My MIL will probubly kill me, but never mind.

In this situation, Cowboy Magic is your friend - it's a detangler for horses tails, and there's nothing more tangled than that. It's safe on people and the effect lasts for ages. Get it from a tack shop / saddler / internet. Jennifer Aniston swears by it.

ginnybag DON'T keep cutting it! The more you cut it, the more wiry it will become and the harder to manage it will be. If she keeps cutting it now, it'll be nightmarish when she really wants to experiment with it as a teen!

That's a load of rubbish. Cutting hair does NOT make it wiry! Where on earth did you hear that? "Bollocks old wives tales for Dummies"? Is it available on Amazon?

No way! That should do the trick. If that doesn't work, we truly can say we've tried everything.

If she really wants it cut though, I'll still let her. I agree about letting her be practical about it for as long as poss. I don't think it's setting a good example to her either, that it doesn't matter if it hurts... looks are more important. that actually makes me cringe. It's soooo wrong.

I'm still buying the Cowboy magic though. Even the bob got a bit tangled from time to time. I'll use it on mine too. Hmm.....I wonder if it'll work on the dog? We might end up buying shares.

Dd1 has thick wavy hair to her waist, and won't have it cut.
She wasnes it twice a week. Immediately after washing I comb through it and french plait it in two plaits. Every morning I undo one side at a time, comb it and plait or french plait it.

When she's going somewhere special then she has it loose and looks amazing.

I think that at 6 yrs old she should be able to choose.

Get her a Tangle Teezer and Cowboy Magic. My younger daughter is that age but she loves having long hair.

my daughter begged to have her beautiful long thick hair cut short. i really didn't want to, and then i thought - we can always grow it, and the fight to brush her hair every morning was just soul-destroying. we a re all a lot happier now and she looks brilliant so we win on both accounts. let her have it cut - might as well find out now then when it is waist length and she is 15.

I think that it is her hair and so she ought to be able to choose what to do with it BUT I do understand how you feel! My DD has lovely long golden hair and I secretly dread her wanting to cut/dye it as she gets older. I force myself not to say it though!