to wonder whatever happened to having a child over for tea?

[workshy]

when I was at school, we would spend all afternoon plotting who wanted to go to who's after school, and we would all come running out saying 'muuuum, can insert random child's name here come for tea?'

when did it tur into a playdate that had to be arranged days, if not weeks in advance

and who came up with the term 'play date' anyway?

can't kids just have a friend over for tea anymore???

We have DSs friends round for tea, usually without a lot of notice. It still exists.

I've never used the term play date. Kids come over for tea or just a play. But definitely not unplanned. I'd be pretty fed up to drag DS2 on the school run, park up, wait outside the gates, blah blah blah, only for DS1 to then go to someone's house.

It's far less stressful that way. You can guarantee that in our house the day of an arranged playdate will be when all hell breaks loose in the morning and dd falls out with whoever is coming. Have one friend where we make a plan on the day, look at our children as they come out of school and decide whether to continue with plan or abort mission!

People have busier lives these days, hence more advance planning required.

'play date' what an awful american saying. I hate it. It drives me crazy how organised everyone is with these thing too. I only have 2 friends who I know I can call on the day and they will be up for simple pleasures like feeding the ducks or tea at each others houses without 6 weeks notice!

We do it all the time :) DC's v sociable and are always inviting random children friends for tea! Also,I do sometimes go on the school run and end up walking home alone weighed down with all their crap :o

When I first heard the term 'playdate' I was like WTF??? But I've got used to it.

I used it in front of MIL and she said 'What did you just say??', burst out laughing then launched into a piss takey rant about what a bunch of cringey/Americanised we parents have become. I nearly died of embarassment!

Ah, the 1950's, when apple cheeked mothers were at the school gates, only too happy to take random children under their wings and ply them with freshly baked scones...

Half DS class are at after school club. A quarter of them have parents who I wouldn't be happy for him to spend time with. The rest of us are - y'know - busy enough looking after our own kids. I'll pick DS up today, 15 mins in the park to get rid of the jitters, home, snack, homework, a wee play, hopefully he'll then want to watch some TV so I can finish up my work that I should be doing now but never mind I'm stuck then it's tea. I don't have any room for a random kid unless it's planned in, I'm afraid.

it exists, just not in London. I lived out of london until recently and we had lots of these ad hoc arrangements. and we didn't call them play dates either!

Now I'm in London, playdates are arranged weeks in advance!

DD does have friends over to play and for tea BUT it is usually sorted out in advance to avoid parents doing an unnecessary school run - important as most people travel to DD's school - and so it doesn't clash with the various after school activities.

I have never used the term playdate in RL, only ever on MN. Similarly, noone else I know uses the term playdate in rl.

I hate DD coming out asking "mum, can xxx come and play tonight" and she has been taught not to do it. I feel mean syaing no but we often can't just do something there and then that night. I need a little notice.

Also most of DD's friends parents work so aren't always around after school - hence the need to pre arrange - so that after school club isnt booked or the childminder, etc.

We do 'coming over for tea on Friday after school' rather than 'play date' but they are usually arranged in advance, just because I work and have to juggle my time to fit these things in.

Having a child over for tea is often fraught with 'what do they eat?' style dilemmas. That bit is quite stressful.

I only pick up one day a week and this day changes -both mine know that if they look at me when I pick up they will know whether they can have a friend over or not

lol

We often have dcs come to the door during dinner asking if x is coming to play. It seems most people eat earlier than us. Also my 9 and 11 year olds walk home and often turn up with a friend in tow. S the impromptu play is still going strong in our town.

It still exists. I am not good at planning such events weeks ahead. Though with some of the mums I do try to be organised.

There's a few of my DS's mates whose mothers I know well enough to say in the morning at school "can C come to tea this evening? Will pick them up. If not another time?" And they do the same.

And to see my DS1 and his mates faces light up gleefully cos' there's a treat instore after school and they don't have to wait weeks for it.... ooh it feels rebellious.

Well at our school we still call it coming round for tea but it is almost never ad hoc, always planned in advance but for me it's better that way.

If I'm having another child I need to make sure I have the spare booster seat with me, that I have appropriate food to feed them that I wouldn't be embarrassed about them telling their mum they were fed .

I have on the odd occassion had a mum call in the afternoon asking to have my son, usually because another date has fallen through at the last minute and their child will be disappointed by not having anyone, and that's fine with me.

I have to go up to the school to get 2 anyway so if I only go home with 1 no drama.

Maybe because;

1. Many more mums work nowadays and therefore benefit from a little notice. The busier we are the more we have to plan unfortunately.

2. In days gone by you could just get the kids to squeeze in the back seat without seatbelts (showing my age) and the mums weren't limited to booster seat space.

3. In the old days mums could just open the door before and after tea and have a stress free kid free house whilst the kids played in the street, now we have to psyche ourselves up for noise and entertainment.

4. In the old days we'd make do with a marmite sandwich, crisps and a bottle of pop now we have have to prepare organic three course meals

yanbu

its a load of shit, SHIT. annoys me

playdate, fuck off

YABU - nothing happened to it and you know that.

"Having someone round for tea" doesn't work well as a noun.

At my DCs school everybody still calls it 'going round to play/have tea'. Surely nobody says 'playdate' out loud to they?

But it does generally need to be planned a day or so ahead, mainly because I work so am not always at home during the day - therefore I've usually got something out of the freezer/nipped to the shop on the way to school to get dinner - for the normal number of people. And also because, as others have said, it's no longer the done thing to squeeze x-number of children into a car like sardines!

I have ds friends round to play after school. Usually planned in advance [I prefer that due to shit heap of house. Still cluttered after a tidy but at least 'improved' for another mother's eyes].
Don't do tea but couple of hours after school. Tea too traumatic in my opinion.
Never use term 'play date' myself but know people who do.