to wonder whatever happened to having a child over for tea?

[workshy]

when I was at school, we would spend all afternoon plotting who wanted to go to who's after school, and we would all come running out saying 'muuuum, can insert random child's name here come for tea?'

when did it tur into a playdate that had to be arranged days, if not weeks in advance

and who came up with the term 'play date' anyway?

can't kids just have a friend over for tea anymore???

for tea they always get the same in my house

on the table I put a bowl of pasta, a bowl of tomato pasta sauce, bowl of cheese, some salad and garlic bread and let them all help themselves

i've never sent anyone home hungry yet!

Sometimes having them straight from school and sending them back before tea is better, especially when they are little.

I gat a call at least once a week from ds who is 10 on his way home from school on his mobile "Muuuuuuuuum, can xxx come for tea" I say yes and ask when "Now!"... I then hear the back gate open and in they troop

Playdates are key networking opportunities for children to advance socially and for parents to meet the other 'parents to know'. You have to book the main players weeks in advance or you'll be left with the B-list children and parents.

DD has friends around to play/have tea but it is organised in advance, because

• dh & I and many of dd1's friends' parents work and we have to compare working days to see what is practical - particularly because dd1 has her tea at her childminder's three days a week, and fabulous as my CM is, I think she'd draw the line at entertaining dd1's mates at short notice
• the school is a few miles away so we drive, space in car/booster seats is an issue without notice
• due to the above not all her friends are particularly local (rural area)
• there are children on our street but most of them are older than dd1 and they don't really play together much
• I don't think it's ever occured to dd1 to invite a child round at short notice, adn I'm not about to suggest it

Yes AKMD good point. Plus you can have a 'fun' maths and spelling test to see how your own child compares to the visiting child.

Haven't done anything after school just yet but I do 'get together' in holidays. Up until now it has been home visits with mum in tow.

I look forward to playdates/ children over for tea but would prefer to know in advance. I like the idea of having a child without it's parent and to this being reciprocated. It would help with my childcare problems.

Only in reception so we will see. As you are ready for random visitors, your homes are clearly much tidier than mine.

Absolutely. I couldn't possibly have any child over that was academically not on a par with my dd. Or of course, cleverer....

DD still does the 'can soandso come for tea today? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?' as she comes out of the classroom. More often than not it's okay although said child sometimes only gets cheese on toast for tea. I actually love the impromptu arrangements.

I don't do playdates though, I have X, Y or Z to play or for tea. As does everyone else round here (small rural village - maybe it just hasn't made its way this far south yet).

We have people round for tea, not playdates. But it can be hard to arrange. DD1's BF has something on every night except Friday and I work on a Friday and DD1 has swimming. So we haven't managed to arrange anything yet :(

Never heard anyone outside of mumsnet use the term playdate.

It is quite normal here to have children around without notice (we are in italy), also because by November we all know of our children's weekly routine.

Sometimes, of course, you have to say no, because of previous arrangements, but it is not the end of the world.

In other cases, especially with children who don't live close by or whose parents can't make it to the school run, we arrange in advance.

Plus, within the group of mums I am friendly with, we try to arrange activities so that the children share the same free day and can play or go to the park together.

I thought 'play date' is used for little ones and once they go to school it is 'tea', no? Even in London i haven't heard 'playdate' for the school age ones. Maybe nannies and AP's use it.

At my dc's school it is VERY rare to go to each other's house, they are all going to activities after school.

The phrases play-date and school-run make me stabby stabby kill kill

My DCs have friends round
I walk my DCs to school or drive them to Breakfast Club if I'm working

Four - that's the solution, send them all to the CM for tea! Brilliant

I never use the word play-date either.We have friends round for tea but not unplanned I'm the meanie Mum who says "not tonight lets go and talk to so and so's Mum and arrange an afternoon". I like to know my house is fairly tidy, we have food in the house and check with my DH.

friends of mine say 'playdate' - I wither inside when they do!

It's not as easy now we have to use car seats. I have to arrange for parent to bring them and pick them up, not just put them in the car with mine!

I have never heard the term "play date" anywhere apart from here. Its awful

I have my DSs friends over to play and for tea a lot, the playing thing is usually just if hes out playing allready and then shows up with someone, they are generally in and out then.

My idea of hell having another Mum around to "chat" while the kids played.

It's horrible when DS2 comes out of school with a friend and puts me on the spot about him coming for tea. I keep telling him not to do it-I need some notice!

Oh for just tea. With DD it is always a bloody sleepover as well.

Sleepovers are a whole thread of their own aren't they exit?

We didn't say playdate in my California childhood. I never heard the term playdate until I came to Britain and had kids, so I assume it's a British invention. I like the word because it says what it means.

Some of DC's mates spontaneously invite children to come round same afternoon, including DC once or twice, we've tried it, no takers. Very occasionally some child turns up here uninvited (which is fine, I am American after all, we can handle ad hoc). And they need feeding. But we're a bit out on edge of town, so not often.

Yep sparkling - have to tidy the whole house. DH can't wander around naked. Bodily functions have to be controlled and I have to remember to lock the bathroom door.