to be annoyed with DP about paying cleaner?

[RevoltingPeasant]

So I am in hospital for an op this week and DP is holding the fort. Today is the day our cleaner comes and I normally leave the money out for her as well as making sure everything is tidy enough for her to be able to actually clean.

I specifically asked DP to make sure he left her money out before going to work. When I rang him about something else today, he casually mentioned that he hadn't remembered to get enough cash out and so had only left out half what we owe her with a note saying IF we owed her any more, we'd settle next week.

I feel really bad about this - our cleaner is not exactly rich, and I don't know if she depends on this cash. She also travels a fair way across town for us. She is lovely, and I feel like it's really disrespectful to have her turn up and not find what she's owed.

AIBU?

YANBU, if I was your cleaner I wouldn't be impressed either

YANBU, but I'm sure the cleaner will realise DH is an idiot and cocked up because you're in hospital.

Do you have her number on your phone with you? I would feel obliged to call her, apologise for DH being an arse and promise to make up the money asap.

actually, better still, get DH to call her!! since he is the one being disrespectful to her work!! men. meh.

YANBU

How far away from home does DH work? Could he go and get some money and take it home while she's there? If not, he can get the money and drop it into her house for her tonight can't he.

He screwed up - he can go out of his way to fix it up.

Does he have an issue with having a cleaner?
Does he think she's just a minion who can wait?
or Is he just pretty useless at remembering any stuff?

YANBU. Though as long as it is a one off I am sure your cleaner will understand. Not sure about his note saying "IF we owed anymore will settle next week. Think that part is out of order.
When I did cleaning I did rely on the money. One family regularly forgot to leave me any money (but didn't leave a note either) so on the third occasion I left a polite note saying if they didn't pay my wages then I would not clean, and I didn't on that occasion I just turned round and went straight back out the door.
They never forgot again.
A second family I worked for were lovely. They genuinely forgot to leave me a cheque once (they were on holiday) but told me that if I incurred any charges (bank charges etc) due to lack of wages then they would reimburse me.

That's really bad. I would say to your DH that he needs to drop the rest of the money round to her when he finishes work. It's very possible that she may not be able to wait until next week.

OP I'm just wondering, do you think your cleaner will actually clean your house today? She may not do it if the full amount hasn't been left? If so that would teach your DH a lesson. Although if she is anything like my cleaner she will do it and won't say a word. I am cross with your DH on both you and your cleaners behalf!

Thanks all. I don't have her phone number or address - we deal over email normally. Also DP works in another city and commutes so he can't really nip out to get cash for her before she's done.

I think it's partially because he thinks I overpay her - she charges 8 an hour which IME is not that high, and she drives to get to us, so I leave her cash for 2.5 hours as agreed but normally also petrol money of 3 pounds or so - so about 23 pounds - DP just had a tenner and some pound coins free so left her about a tenner short.

Imean it's hardly the national debt but still... Would it be okay to email her saying really sorry and drop the cash with another lady I know she cleans for at the start of next week, that way she's only waiting the weekend and not a full week?

£8 an hour is a bargain! £10.50 here (though I think £2.50 goes to her agency)

Yes, if you can get it to her sooner, even better - but I'm sure she'll realise it's not a normal situation and understand.

Your husband should take the money round to her IMO.
She may really need it, after all I'm sure she isn't a cleaner for fun.
How would your husband like it if his employers forgot to pay him one week?

Roller I think she will probably just do it :( she is very honest. And DP just says, well if she doesn't like it she can just do half the agreed cleaning! He won't care that much because he is happy to live with a low level of scumminess untidiness so it will really only affect me.

Gah! Thanks for recovery wishes, am waiting to hear whether I can be discharged later today or not!

I agree with LadyBeagle tell him to go round with it...she probably DOES rely on it...why else would you mop someone elses floor?

It shouldn't matter whether your DH thinks she is overpaid! That was the amount you agreed and that is the amount your cleaner is due.
Imagine if your DHs boss decided to only pay him half one month because thats all he thought he was worth?
I mean its hardly the national debt but still - actually when I was working as a cleaner that £10 would make a huge difference to me. It would have been the difference between putting petrol in the car in order to get to work or phoning up and cancelling a job.
FWIW £8 is a bargain!

Sorry - hope you recover soon. But your DHs attitude stinks.

Total bargain! You'd be very lucky to get someone for less than £12 an hour here. Very much agree that it's unacceptable, he wouldn't put up with that from his employers I assume? He needs to make the effort to go over after work.

£8 is a bargain. Your DP is being an arse. I can understand genuinely forgetting (especially as you're in hospital and he may be worrying about you) but he could have left a note apologising and asking for her bank details so that he could do an online transfer.

In fact, could you do that? If you have internet access to get on here & usually communicate by email presumably you could email her? Hi Lovely Woman Who Cleans My House, I'm very sorry but I think my stupid partner may have left you less money than you are owed because he's an idiot. Could you send me your bank details and I'll do an online transfer so that you're not left short?

Oh, and I hope you're well enough to be discharged ASAP so you can kick his arse

YANBU. Would your dh mind if his work paid him half his salary one month and say 'Oh we'll pay it back in next month's pay run'?!

OTOH these things do happen, I am quite forgetful. But I would try and get her the money by hook or by crook - going round there if necessary.

i think he needs to go this evening and pay her the rest with an apology. he has a bad attitude TBH.

Jeez how would he like it if his work just decided not to pay him?! Does ^he work for free? Thought not.

Yanbu

The bank transfer is a good idea! Failing that I will apologise and offer to drop it round at hers if she gives me her address or at the other lady's whom she sees on Tues.

I agree, I used to work a min wage job and 10 pounds is not to be sneezed at.

RevoltingPeasant You seem like a good person and I am sure your cleaner knows that too.
However, have a word with your DH!

Get well soon
x

It doesn't matter whether £8 is a good deal or not (it's regional and variable anyway, around here it's a minimum of £10, usually £12) it's what you have agreed to pay her. If he has a problem with it, he needs to discuss it with you where upon you can tell him to STFU not underpay her.

(£23 quid a week is sooo cheap to come home to a lovely clean house - he's an idiot anyway!)

I'd be soooo tempted to call his work and ask them to pay him 50% next month and put a note through to him to say that IF they owe him anymore they'll pay him next time . Except I wouldn't want to show myself up!

I hope you get to go home today and are well enough to tell him what a total prat we think he's been.

£8 is a bargain! MIL pays hers £11 in Lancashire. Perhaps he might like to try sourcing a good cleaner who charges less...?

And yes, totally agree with the others. You specifically asked him to have the money ready for her, but he clearly thinks she's too unimportant to bestir himself for. And that note is totally out of order- IF you owe her more, FFS!