to be annoyed with DP about paying cleaner?

[RevoltingPeasant]

So I am in hospital for an op this week and DP is holding the fort. Today is the day our cleaner comes and I normally leave the money out for her as well as making sure everything is tidy enough for her to be able to actually clean.

I specifically asked DP to make sure he left her money out before going to work. When I rang him about something else today, he casually mentioned that he hadn't remembered to get enough cash out and so had only left out half what we owe her with a note saying IF we owed her any more, we'd settle next week.

I feel really bad about this - our cleaner is not exactly rich, and I don't know if she depends on this cash. She also travels a fair way across town for us. She is lovely, and I feel like it's really disrespectful to have her turn up and not find what she's owed.

AIBU?

:) at chipping yeah it is cheap but we are in a part of the South West where wages are depressed and there aren't a lot of jobs going. That's why I pay her petrol money - which my DP says should just be inc in her hourly rate as 'part of the costs of running a business' - because I feel kind of exploitative, like she really wouldn't be mopping floors if she had the choice, as a PP said.

Would she pick up the phone in your house? You could try ringing her there.

Nice idea about ringing her but my sense of her is she is very scrupulous about boundaries and wouldn't pick up someone else's phone. I might try it but I also don't know exactly when she is there, as we are both out all day and she just turns up some time during the day so that she's finished by 5.

YANBU to be annoyed. Yes anyone can make a one-off mistake, but I absolutely agree that he should have left a note apologising properly and made the effort to get the money to her as soon as possible.

£8 an hour sounds quite a low rate to me as well, though if that's normal in your area then I'm sure it's fine.

Happy ending!! I was discharged early from hospital today and when walking home from the bus stop I just happened to catch the cleaner driving out of our cul de sac, so frantically hailed her, apologised, and gave her what we owe. She was lovely about it, of course, and had done all the normal stuff when we got home.

Still feel ashamed And am going to give DP a tongue lashing talking-to when he gets home. Thanks for all replies showing that I am NOT unreasonable and actually just a normal person!!

Glad you caught her!

He did it on purpose, didn't he.

To make a Point.

If we owe you anything. There's no if. He knows what she is paid.

He behaved like a total arse.

Aw glad you caught her. I know the first time I wasn't paid I was so overly polite and apologetic and made out that it didn't matter. But it did. By the third time I was much more assertive.

Don't feel ashamed - you have nothing to feel ashamed about, you sound lovely and as though you really value your cleaner.

Your DH on the other hand should feel very much ashamed 1/ for treating your cleaner like that & 2/ for giving you extra stress whilst you were in hospital.

Might do some good to remind your DH that people actually work better and harder for employers they feel appreciate them.

Wishing you a speedy recovery

Great timing!!

You caught the bus home from hospital? No-one to give you a lift :( That's pretty crap. Have a nice and a !

Think of all of us standing behind you when you talk to him tonight. Tell him your cleaner agrees with him - her costs should be included in her rate and she's not happy with her current rate so as of next weeks she'll be charging £12ph so he'll need to leave £30 next time

All joking aside - he really has shown a side of him I would not like, not one bit.

Forgetting to withdraw cash it is ok, it happens to everybody.
But the 'if' and his attitude is very bad imo. To me it is very important how my dh treats people at work so i wouldn't be happy with this.
Give him hell tonight

Have a good recovery and rest.

Laquitar yes forgetting to withdraw cash is ok. Its how you react after that makes the difference. To me it is very important how my dh treats people at work so i wouldn't be happy with this. I very much agree with this.
It makes me so mad when people treat low earners like shit.

I would be a bit pissed off with this especially with the 'if'. I used to work(really hard) for a man who lived in quite a big house with 2 daughters who were there at the weekend. Every week without fail if he wasn't there neither was my money, I would get it next time he was there but very grudgingly. He would often pop out come back and say "Oh I'll have to go back out to the bank!" I left in the end leaving him a snotty letter.

I sympathise. My DP forgot to leave the cleaner money out this morning (we take turns) and despite me reminding him twice, which annoys me even more, he still forgets. It makes me really mad because it looks like we don't care, and I do care, even if my DP doesn't. And its always me that has to get in contact with the agency and apologise, as DP 'forgets'! YADNBU. Oh, and get well soon.

I seriously think the man you married is a twunt . He did it to make a point and all he managed to do was make himself look small and petty minded . please show him this thread .