To be utterly sick of my husbands gym habit?

[rogersmellyonthetelly]

He wakes at 5.45 am every day, get up and goes to the gym. He goes at this time because his friend also works out and they go together for motivation.
Problem is that he 1) always puts his alarm on snooze so not only does it wake me the first time, it wakes me again 10 minutes later. 2) he wakes up the puppy which then shuffles round in the crate and sounds like a small elephant tap dancing on a drum. 3) him going downstairs and turning off the burglar alarm wakes up the kids who then come and get into my bed thus ruining any hope of getting back to sleep.
Aibu to be utterly fecking sick to the teeth of my whole house being woken up 1.5 hours before the required time every day of the sodding week?
He also goes to bed at 9pm and eats only chicken and rice which is really really pissing me off as we don't have meals together either as a family or as a couple any more. It's been like this for 2 months and so far I can see no change in his physique whatsoever.

Either he is quiet in the morning (vibrating alarm, no snooze, puppy downstairs, muffle alarm somehow so beeps are quieter) as everyone suggests.

Or you shift the whole family day by an hour; so everyone goes to bed an hour earlier and you all get up at 6am.

We get up at 6am every day as work and school here start at 7.30am, you do get used to it (eventually).

The first morning this happened would be the last. I would have made it very clear that this is not necessary and it is not acceptable and so how is it going to be changed now. If he could not suggest ways then I would put them forth and they would be implemented that night.

Fine if you want to have a hobby, but it should not mean an unecessary burden on your family. At all. Ever.

I despise 'snooze', but it would appear many men need it. So again, there are alarms which will vibrate under his pillow. If that is not enough he must sleep elsewhere.

I don't believe this crap about 'he is a hard sleeper'. My husband sleeps like the dead and he has an alarm like this as he now works shifts. He knows beter than to wake all of us early doors, as he says because I would not and did not do such a thing to him for years when he stayed home in the days with our daughters who are good sleepers who lie in until 7 or later and always have.

He gets up, leaves the room in the dark, does what he needs to do without waking anyone (there is only one bathroom and it is upstairs with the bedrooms and yet he's able to shower and get in his uniform without waking anyone), goes downstairs and has his cigarette, coffee and breakfast, leave without waking anyone.

And this is a flat so it's entirely possible!

I would go spare at that snooze alone. It is inconsiderate unless it is a vibration under his own pillow which wakes no one else.

He would, too, if I did such a thing. I would not because it is inconsiderate. Because he was home in the day he would always get up at night except weekends with our daughters. I would do all weekends, but I would also nap sometimes.

Again, it's about consideration and respect. I am a good deal older than my spouse. I would happily trade naps and sleep for some household work he was adverse to.

Even now, he will take the children off on his days or afternoons off whilst I catch up on work in here.

Similarly, I take them all away sometimes so he can do what he wants.

Agree with all on the snooze front/getting ready quietly front - DH did this to me for a few weeks until I finally cracked it. To wake the entire house in just inconsiderate.

That being said, I am more amazed at the attitude towards 5.45am being massively early? Where I live though, it is too hot by 7/8am so we get up early to make the most of the cool.

DH currently gets up at 4am to fit in two hours of study before he starts work (big exam in February...).

DD and DS are up by 5am at the very latest. By 5.15am I am on the road with both of them in the pram. I figure it's easier than trying to get an 8wo DS back to sleep and keeping my 20 month old DD quiet in a small house.

And the btw going to the gym isn't a hobby - it's part of a healthy lifestyle. Model trains are a hobby. Scrapbooking is a hobby. Keeping fit is a good thing.

Just in case you were I thinking I was totally mad, I would LOVE my kids to sleep later... the early morning walking is more of a sanity measure.

Hillee - ha ha!
Rogersmelly - so one the one hand he's being inconsiderate and selfish which you've been too patient about already, and on the other you have a DH who doesn't want to spend time with you all as a family, eating together etc. I don't know which is worse, but I think I'd feel gutted if my DH distanced himself from us.

Just me who gets up early then? Alarm goes of at 6am, I leave the house between 7 and 7.30 4 days a week.
Just tell your DH to turn alarm off instead of putting it on snooze.
He's back to help with the DC so I don't think there's a lot to complain about really.

(I know loads of people get up a lot earlier bth- just amazed that OP thinks 5.45 is the middle of the night)

KittyFane - I read this not as "wake up about 6" which is a perfectly reasonable time to my mind, but "start being woken up 2 hours early". That is not reasonable if your routine doesn't require it other than for the husband to go to the gym with a friend.

5.45 is the middle of the night! Our alarm goes off at 7.30am.

He is totally overdoing the weights if he is spending one hour in the gym 7x a week on weights. 2h a week is plenty.

Bonsoir - I spend over 7 hours a week exercising - its not overdoing the weights if you're exercising different muscle groups on different sessions. The difference is I make sure it doesnt eat into my family time or inconvenience my DH as a result of it.

It is overdoing it - both now and for the long-term (think of your tendons - do you want them to last a lifetime or to snap in your 40s?).

If he and his friend can go at any time, why doe they want to go at 5:45?

That is madness, but I do think YABU to "insist" that he's back to help get DC ready for school. If he could go an hour or more later and still be back to do what he does during the day and you (all) get more sleep, surely you could get the DC to school. My DH has always left the house for work before DC are up and TBH now I've got my routines, it's a pain in the neck on the odd occasion he's around getting in the way in the mornings.

He's got to sort out the family meal thing though - he can't think it's Ok never to eat with his family....can he?

YANBU! How long does he go to the gym for anyway? An hour?

Why not suggest that he goes after work? I read research that says your muscles are less prone to injury in the afternoon, evening, anyway. Google it, I'm sure you'll find it.