To suggest to my MIL that we go easy with Christmas prezzies this year

[Stormfromeast]

Every year my MIL asks for very expensive prezzie. Last year she asked for a TV recorder, the year before last she asked for a laptop. To be fair, Christmas day is also her birthday, and she does expect to have 2 prezzie from each of her children. But she is 85 years old! WTF would a 85 year old woman want expensive prezzies for?

One year I did suggest we go easy and got the cold shoulder from her. None of her children dare say no, including my DH. MIL always insist we all could afford it. But that's not the point.

Should I bring this up again for this year? Any suggestions on how to get DH to support my brave act?

YANBU....age is no excuse for being rude and demanding.

I can't believe she gave you the cold shoulder for suggesting a cut down in spending.

redwine Gift giving shouldn't be related to gift receiving should it? Does it matter who spends what? As long as a gift is chosen with care and given freely?

Your mother in law sounds petty Storm I wouldn't broach a subject with her at all to be frank. I would just choose a nice gift for each event, and give with love. If she has an issue with that, it says more about her than you.

I think it makes a world of difference buying expensive gifts if you know they will be used by the recipient, rather than just sitting gathering dust because the recipient just fancied them.

I do think in your MILS case, she enjoys the spectacle of getting a lot of expensive gifts to unwrap, but she hasn't given much thought to the financial abilities of the givers. She views big expensive gifts as a sign of how much she is loved. I bet she boasts to her friends about them. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that her reciprocation was considerably less on her family's birthdays and Christmas. Do correct me if I'm wrong! Obviously, if she has loaned money in the past to any of you, given expensive things like her car when she bought a new one, helped with a lot of childcare for example then that's different.

Here's a wicked thought, you could always root out stuff from her house that you have given her previously and that's been abandoned and re-gift it. See if she notices!

Girlywhirly - that's such a wicked idea, but good point. Thanks for that

Redwine - you have a point there. To make life liveable, we will just buy her a gift within affordability.

Littlemissflustered Yes I agree that there doesn't have to be the same budget on each sides and it also depends what people can afford. However I think if there has been a history of MIL being very generous, then I think it's more reasonable to spend more on her, or else encourage her to spend less on OP. On the other hand, if MIL has always given small token presents then I think it's more cheeky for her to demand a large present from OP