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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not go to see ds1 in a show this afternoon?

56 replies

mosschops30 · 09/11/2011 09:31

My excuses are as follows:
Ds2 up all night with croup and not at all well
Ds2 normally sleeps at that time
It goes on for over an hour
He has an after school club tonight so i would have to go down at 2pm, watch show til 3.30, come home, then back to school for 4.30
He has very little idea of what it is hes doing, just singing in a song about chicken tonight .

now dont get me wrong, i do go to all assembly's, harvest festival, book fayres, xmas concerts, but today would just be a nightmare!

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 09/11/2011 09:37

Oh I'd go.

Nobody to have ds2 for you? What age is ds2? Not of an age to sleep in a pushchair?

I went to dd's harvest festival last month and was stuck behind a pillar in the church. I could see dd trying and failing to spot me. The children were then ushered off afterwards before I could get dd's attention. The school told me at pick up time that she'd been v quiet for an hour and when asked why had burst into tears that her mum hadn't come to see her in her show. She was really v upset and she's a stubborn, capable child usually. I think it's because all the other children had seen and waved to their Mums and she felt forgotten.

squeakytoy · 09/11/2011 09:41

Is there anyone else who could go who your daughter knows? Grandparent? Aunt?

I am sure there will be plenty of other parents who have to work who cant make it too,so your little one will not be the only one who has no parent there.

squeakytoy · 09/11/2011 09:41

sorry, son..

slavetofilofax · 09/11/2011 09:42

I'd go.

He might not know much about what he's doing, but he will know that other Mums are there and his isn't. That's a big deal when you are small.

Original poster

mosschops30 · 09/11/2011 09:42

Ds2 is nearly 2. If it was the usual half hour assembly id probably go but the thought of sitting in the hall with an ill 2 year old for an hour and a half just fills me with dread.

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 09/11/2011 09:43

I'd go too. Some shows aren't the most exciting in the world, but it means so much to DC to know their parents go if they can.
Obviously some can't get to performances, but, do try.

Original poster

mosschops30 · 09/11/2011 09:44

Hes 7 so not that small, not quite like in reception when you had to go fr everything.
There is no one i can keave ds2 with at that time of day, but i wouldnt anyway, hes too unwell

OP posts:

NinkyNonker · 09/11/2011 09:44

I'd go.

Original poster

mosschops30 · 09/11/2011 09:44

Really youd all go to an hour and a half show? With an ill child?

OP posts:

LisasCat · 09/11/2011 09:47

We also had the harvest festival attendance request recently, and I told DD1 that I wouldn't be able to make it, because baby DD2 would probably kick off and ruin it for everyone. Her little face just looked so crushed, even more so when she asked daddy who said he couldn't either because he was as work. So I popped DD2 in her sling, went to the church, and I'm so glad I did. DD1 was desperately looking for me, even though I'd tried to cover my arse by saying if she couldn't see me I might be hiding at the back with the baby. And she was so relieved when she did see me. It makes me really worried about how she'll react once I go back to work next year and can't get along to the school for every little thing they do.

worraliberty · 09/11/2011 09:49

He has very little idea of what it is hes doing, just singing in a song about chicken tonight

I'm sorry but I'm sure he'll have every idea of what he's doing...as he will have learnt it over and over with the rest of the children.

I would definitely move Heaven and Earth to go...they're only kids once in their lives and it's usually very important to them that you attend if there's the slightest chance you can.

I've sat through so many plays/concerts and seen little kids singing/dancing and crying all at the same time once the parents have arrived and their haven't.

ColdToast · 09/11/2011 09:50

I would stay home. 1.5hrs is a long time for a young child, never mind one who is ill.

At our school even the Reception children wouldn't be expected to sit there for that long. There would be a small break for them to go back to class and the rest of the assembly/show would continue without them.

marriedinwhite · 09/11/2011 09:51

I wouldn't do the whole hour and a half. I would phone the school now and explain the situation. I would go for the first 10 minutes (maybe longer if by miracle DS2 slept) and make sure DS1 saw me wave - I would then leave when I had to knowing that I had briefed the teachers to give DS1 a bit of TLC.

Having reread your post why can't another parent bring ds1 home from after school club or if you attend the show, why can't ds1 miss after school club and come straight home with you.

I think one way or another you have to either do the show or skip the after school club. It sounds as though you are looking to minimise upset to your routine rather than do what is best for both your boys.

GrownUpSparkler · 09/11/2011 09:53

I'd stay home. I did when he had his harvest festival assembly and I wasn't feeling well... never mind with a young child that had been up all night and was ill. I just told him I was getting another parent to wave to him for me, and he was fine with that.

TheRepublicOfDreams · 09/11/2011 09:55

What marriedinehite said

Esta3GG · 09/11/2011 09:57

I wouldn't miss it for the world - but then I am a mum who is also a cancer patient so I don't take any of this stuff with my kids for granted.
(Sorry - that was collossal emotional blackmail wasn't it? )

alegre · 09/11/2011 09:58

I'm going against the flow.
I wouldn't go. An hour and a half is a long time plus, having to go back later, would stress me (and a little one) out.
It may be because I worked full time when my children were little and really couldn't make everything. Sometimes DH couldn't make it either and, with no grandparents close by, it meant there was no one to see ds. However, I would have explained very clearly why I couldn't make it and remind ds that I go to everything else - that it is important to me but sometimes it can't be done. If there's another parent you're close to, you could say that so and so would look out for them and tell you how well they've done afterwards.
Is there no one else that can go on your behalf?

Original poster

mosschops30 · 09/11/2011 09:58

Yes it was!

OP posts:

Grinchywoo · 09/11/2011 09:58

Don't worry about it, some parents cant go to every childs show due to work commitments. Yes your DC may feel a little bit upset for 5 minutes but unfortunately shit happens

sillymillyb · 09/11/2011 10:15

I would go - but why don't you ask if you can bring your ds home straight afterwards so you only need to make 1 trip out? Surely as a one off the school would allow this?

imogengladheart · 09/11/2011 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

witherhills · 09/11/2011 10:17

I'd go

lisad123 · 09/11/2011 10:18

I hate the thought of dd being the only one without a parent there I missed so much when I was working, I now go to everything I can.
If you can go I would

EnjoyResponsibly · 09/11/2011 10:23

I think married has a good idea assuming you can get there and back fairly easily.

ShowOfHands · 09/11/2011 10:23

Is he expecting you?

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