To not go to see ds1 in a show this afternoon?

[mosschops30]

My excuses are as follows:
Ds2 up all night with croup and not at all well
Ds2 normally sleeps at that time
It goes on for over an hour
He has an after school club tonight so i would have to go down at 2pm, watch show til 3.30, come home, then back to school for 4.30
He has very little idea of what it is hes doing, just singing in a song about chicken tonight .

now dont get me wrong, i do go to all assembly's, harvest festival, book fayres, xmas concerts, but today would just be a nightmare!

Personally, I think it's fine to miss the occasional school event. I missed sports day, because I had to work and my children seem to have survived unscathed

The main issue is whether your son is expecting you ... and whether he will notice/cope if you are not there. If you think he will cope, don't worry about what other parents will think. And explain to your son that his little brother was too sick to come. Then ask him all about it and give him a big hug for doing well!

Yes, cancel the after school club...that makes more sense.

Do go, please.

Dd2 was in a similar after school thing where most of them were chorus. It was only 20 minutes. One of the mums hadn't got the message (gone via dad!) and this little girl performed fine, but when her mum turned up, burst into floods of tears and mum felt so guilty even though it wasn't her fault.

"I went to dd's harvest festival last month and was stuck behind a pillar in the church. I could see dd trying and failing to spot me. The children were then ushered off afterwards before I could get dd's attention. The school told me at pick up time that she'd been v quiet for an hour and when asked why had burst into tears that her mum hadn't come to see her in her show."

Aw!! That reminds me of DDs first Christmas Concert at nursery when she was just turned 3. Both DH and I turned up in good time but, being novices at this sort of thing, we politely took seats nearer the back rather than rushing for the front seats. When DD came on I could see she was looking for us and despite me frantically waving and trying to catch her eye she never spotted us and looked miserable all the way through. When I went to get her afterwards I assured her we were there and saw it all but I still think it spoilt it for her.

After that I thought sod it and always got the best seat I could find.

Actually I have just realised there is a chance I might not be able to go to her school Christmas Concert this year and I feel awful. She is 16 but it will be the first thing I have missed. Still trying to work out if I can go to half of it and leave in the interval and hope her bit is in the first half.....

Am at how precious you all are and how children will end up as sociopaths if we dont go to every play/assembly/show etc.
How do you think working parents manage? I rarely went to any of dds daytime things because i was working full time, she is now doing well in her last year of high school and hoping to study medicine, i dont think shes suffered any lasting damage
if it had been yesterday i couldnt have gone because i worked 7-7.

I honestly cant believe you think its more suitable to take an ill child to a long show in a school hall, and take ds1 out of a club thats paid for and he loves!

I guess thats why this is AIBU

i did tell him this morning that i might not make it if his brother was still unwell. Hes been slowly flagging throughout the morning and is now fast asleep so i guess i wont be going unless he wakes up by 2

Blimey, why did you ask if everyone who disagrees is precious?!! What a load of crap.

I'd give it a miss if you know he isn't that bothered. I'd rather keep an ill child at home.

Sack his club...go...then take both DC home right away. He would miss you with all the other parents there.

He is old enough to understand that you cant go to everything....I certainly would go and drag an ill kid there, not for an hour and a half and seriously, it wont scar him for life!!

I work ft and have to miss out on some of DS's stuff. I try my best but I have drummed it into him that I cant do everything as I have to go to work and he understands that now. It was more difficult when he was in reception but now he is fine about it (he is 9).

Dont beat yourself up about it.........actually, cruel as it sounds, sometimes I dont go to things because I just know it is gonna be painful to see through and DS, well his childhood has not been tainted!

would not drag an ill kid there ........doh!

ninky grow up, the whole point of AIBU is that people disagree with each other and you end up trying to fight your corner.

I think today would be painful, its run by the evangelical catholic society

Me grow up?! You're the one who declared the majority of posters on your thread 'precious' because they didn't tell you what you wanted to hear. I was merely asking why you posted if weren't interested in other opinions? I mean, this wasn't a ranty pointless Aibu, you appeared to be genuinely asking a question. No-one attacked you, yet you went on the attack. Odd.

I think you need to calm down or have i touched a nerve calling you precious?
Its just an AIBU thread, nothing serious

I would go, even if I arrived late and left early - just so that DS could see me there. As a working Mum I know how hard it is to get to things, and I go to ridiculous lengths rearranging work to get to as much as I can. Nothing beats the joy on their faces when they see you in the audience. I remember DS1's best friend grabbing my arm at the end of a concert, and saying "please tell my Mummy that I sang well". It was so sad.

Not at all on either count, (apart from that dd seems to have cracked her head open again), I just thought your approach was odd was all. Good use of the PA smilie as well.

Lol youre all so funny

Ah yes the old shove in a few LOLs and smilies tactic!

I'd agree with you Sharrie - if the LOL and smilie tactic had not been deployed post use of the accusation "precious" - which immediately upped the status from Lightly Jocular to EversoSlightlySmartArsey.

There should really be an AIBU sub-section for "I actually already know the answer to this I am merely seeking collective approval from a bunch of strangers on the internet so don't bother to reply if you aren't going to back me up otherwise I shall call you names."

grin lol etc etc ad nauseam

Nobody but nobody said attending all concerts was compulsory. Or that children will suffer if their parents work or can't make it. That's fine and you go to the ones you can and prep your child in advance. We were answering it from the pov of your child expecting to see you, you not mentioning that you'd already told him you might not be there and not going when it's possible for you to do so. Not the same as being at work at all. People even suggested alternatives (how are we to know you pay for after school clubs, ours is free?). If you don't want opinions/help/suggestions, don't ask. Certainly don't ask and then come and call us names for saying what you didn't want to hear. It's rude.