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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect parents to keep their LOs away from play groups when ill

29 replies

eddy26 · 08/11/2011 13:56

My DD (11 months) has recently caught a cold, a sickness bug and a cough after having gone to play groups where there have been other LOs with the same illnesses (obviously I cant prove this scientifically but I am pretty damned sure this is the case). I have always steered clear when DD is not well so as not to pass it on. Is it unreasonable of me to expect others to do the same? And if so, does this give me permission to join in the great germ spreading fest (providing DD is up to it of course)?

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 08/11/2011 13:57

Oh dear

BartletForAmerica · 08/11/2011 13:58

You can't expect parents not to come out when their children have normal coughs and colds (assuming their children are feeling well with it). They'd never go out otherwise!

ElizabethPonsonby · 08/11/2011 14:01

You're going to love it when it comes to school aren't you

SamWidgiz · 08/11/2011 14:01

Surely if working parents took time off to look after their DCs every time they had a cold, they wouldn't have a job for very long!

ohbabybaby · 08/11/2011 14:01

toddlers get endless illnesses, and most have constant colds. Once you are past the little baby stage it is unrealistic to never go out when your LO has a sniffle, provided they are well in themselves. Sickness bugs are different - but IME passed on before the spreader does 1st puke.

your playgroup would be empty if all the runny noses stayed away.

good for their immune system anyway (scientific fact)

YABU

SenoritaViva · 08/11/2011 14:05

Just look at it as building up her immune system. There is of course rules for D&V (24 or 48 hour rule) and I think you'd get more support about that. In essence I think people look at how bright their children are and whether they are well enough to run around at play group.

I caught a cough and cold off a friend last week, she honestly didn't think she was contagious any more. A real pain as I'm pregnant and can't take any drugs but I don't blame her, these things happen.

MamaLazarou · 08/11/2011 14:06

YABU

Original poster

eddy26 · 08/11/2011 14:07

As I suspected I am over worrying . I find it a real pain staying away, especially, as you say BfA, it's never ending. I am very happy to share and share alike. Makes life much easier for me. Though I can't promise not to curse the guilty party inwardly when DD picks up yet another cough/cold/sickness bout.

OP posts:

BartletForAmerica · 08/11/2011 19:19

Just wanted to say, "Well Done!"

You came to ask, "AIBU?"
You were told YWBU.
And you've come back to say, "fair enough".

(Now I just need to consider if I would ever be brave enough to start an AIBU thread, rather than just reply.)

Groovee · 08/11/2011 20:47

Coughs and colds cannot be avoided, however I had a family member who took her son who'd been sick during the night to nursery, then the music class and moaned at me and another family member at the music class that he'd then puked over her in the car on the way. The same family member sent her other child to playgroup(where you leave them) when he had pneumonia cos he wanted to go!!!!

Guitargirl · 08/11/2011 20:51

How on earth do you know where the cold/cough/bug came from? Practically everyone I know has had some kind of virus in the last month or so. If you don't want to get any kind of bug then you will have to keep yourself and your children at home which is totally impractical when they start school. Better to get them exposed to smaller bugs to build immunity before they start having to miss a lot of school.

RomanKindle · 08/11/2011 21:02

If you don't want your dc getting coughs/colds then don't go to play groups. The toys will all have been touched/chewed/touched with less than hygienic hands and just because a child isn't showing symptoms yet it doesn't mean they can't pass an infection on.
I would stay away with sickness, fever, chicken pox etc but not just sniffles.

thepollydoll · 08/11/2011 21:34

Yep, just wait for your first Chickenpox party !!! :D

GrownUpSparkler · 08/11/2011 21:57

LOL, I think catching bugs and the like is all part of socialising your children. Obviously you keep your contagious child away from playgroup or school when you are aware of it, forty eight hours for stomach bugs is a common rule at schools and nurseries.

However, children are often ill before they look it and judging whether they just have a bit of a cough and snots or whether it's a brewing case of chicken pox can often be an inexact science.

Yeah it sucks when kids are ill, I failed my college course because my DD caught one infectious illness after the other after the other and I kept her off as you should, but I've also sent my son to school with a rupturing eardrum and a temperature of forty because I didn't realise he was even that ill.

exoticfruits · 08/11/2011 22:19

Build up the immune system. Some people would never go out if they had to wait until they were all germ free. It must be PFB otherwise the older ones would be bringing things home.

anothermum92 · 08/11/2011 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ReshapeWhileDamp · 08/11/2011 22:27

Stay out of the supermarket too, then!

Sorry, but I don't keep my two away from groups, etc, for mild colds. Not unless they're feeling poorly. If I did, we would never leave the sodding house between October and the end of March. Vomitty things, yes. But sadly, those often come on so fast that a parent doesn't know their child's incubating something that has the potential to redecorate rooms.

exoticfruits · 08/11/2011 22:36

If you want to avoid it stay in for the winter! The supermarket will be worse than any group and do not, on any account, go to the doctors! The waiting room will be full of germs.

Original poster

eddy26 · 09/11/2011 13:20

Thanks Bartlet. DD has started waking in the night again so my brain is fuzzy at best right now and each cough/cold makes her sleeping worse. Small runny noses and sticky fingers at play groups, to my very baggy eyes, are mere symbols of more sleepless nights right now. Thus my . I need to lighten up. Not easy when I am a bear with a sore head. I will make it my new mantra. Deep breath, must lighten up, must lighten up, must lighten up.

OP posts:

Gargula · 09/11/2011 13:32

YABU when it comes to colds.
YANBU when it comes to sickness.

My boy has had a horrible sickness bug over the last week and there's no way I would take him to groups or nursery until 48 hours after he's better.

Would be flabergasted if anyone thought they could take a child with sickness to a group.

nethunsreject · 09/11/2011 13:35

Well done, op - ywb a wee bit u, but I totally understand why.

Some people do take the piss though - sending in kids who have been sick in the night/have a high temperature. Coughs and colds are okay though.

FunnysInTheGarden · 09/11/2011 13:37

we've just had one of these, and the resounding response was YABU which of course you are.

NormanTebbit · 09/11/2011 13:40

Mine cough til May

exoticfruits · 09/11/2011 13:43

Sickness is different-there is a 48hr rule. Coughs and colds are just a fact of life and the country would come to a standstill if everyone stayed at home.

Original poster

eddy26 · 09/11/2011 14:35

Exoticfruits - yes DD is a PFB. I would say well spotted but it's screamingly obvious really . I will add this to the ever growing list of things that I have taken far too seriously in my DD's short but brilliant life so that can laugh about them when I get some energy back. It's going to be a long list.

OP posts:

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