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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want one evening where I don't stink of...

38 replies

buttonmoon78 · 07/11/2011 17:34

vomit? Worse still, nutramigen vomit which smells like rotten spuds?

Or where I don't have ds clawing at me because he's in such pain?

Or where I feel like no one gives a damn because he's not losing weight?

I feel like life is one big refluxy nightmare and I just wanted a rant but I'm sure my post-natal thread buddies must be a little fed up of me by now. I know I am Blush

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TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 07/11/2011 17:35

DS had reflux I feel your pain! Used to put him in the car seat and swing him about it was the only thing to stop him crying

duvetdayplease · 07/11/2011 17:37

YANBU at all. How old is your son? I'm sorry to hear about the reflux, its a total nightmare. Are you seeing consultants or anything or just your GP at the mo? x

Mishy1234 · 07/11/2011 18:05

YANBU, I'm sorry you're having such a dreadful time. Reflux is a nightmare.

Original poster
buttonmoon78 · 07/11/2011 18:07

He is 16wks. We've seen one paed who has washed her hands of us (in the nicest possible way) as he's gone beyond her experience. At 12 wks she referred us to a more specialist paed who we were assured would see us within 2 weeks. Nada. Finally we've got an appt on 17th Nov but that's only because I've made a total nuisance of myself.

It's so hard as everyone has a suggestion which we've usually already tried and discarded so then I get unnecessarily narky with them.

And I know time is the greatest healer but it's shit living through it.

I know that part of the problem is that as he contiues to thrive he's not on any danger list. DD1 was horribly ill with reflux, hospitalised, FTT - the works. So she had every resource available thrown at her. Yet she never suffered a day with it.

DS on the other hand - he never stops telling me how he's suffering, poor love, but because he continues to put weight on it's ok to leave him to it Hmm

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duvetdayplease · 07/11/2011 18:11

I'm sorry it's so tough. It will end but I guess it doesn't feel like that. Well done on persisting with the appointment - good on you for being a nuisance!

He is suffering with the reflux, but at least he can feel how much you care by all you're trying to do.

fraktious · 07/11/2011 18:14

Sad much sympathy

We wouldn't have survived this long without a sling, although DS mostly had silent reflux so there wasn't the vom everywhere.

blackoutthesun · 07/11/2011 18:17

((hugs))

my dd suffered from reflux, it is hell and like you because she was gaining weight no one cared. dd use to claw her face in pain. in the end i took her to a+e and refused to move until she was seen

apart from the milk is your ds on any other meds?

Original poster
buttonmoon78 · 07/11/2011 18:17

I love our sling but it does mean I get a puddle of vomit sitting in my bra. Which is nice at the end of the day. I'm so slummy now that I don't even get changed unless it's a real dire emergency.

I know it will end. I know he will be ok. I know he won't remember any of this but it still does my head in.

And above all, I do thank my lucky stars every day that it is only reflux and nothing which will be with him for life. It could be so much worse.

But I still need to vent every now and then Wink

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Original poster
buttonmoon78 · 07/11/2011 18:19

On ranitidine. Tried omeprazole but it didn't help any more than R.

We were on gaviscon but the theory was that the bottom of his oesophegus was burned by the acid so it was increasing his pain whilst decreasing the vomiting as it made the milk thicker thereby keeping it in contact with the sores longer. So off we came.

My poor washing machine thinks we've adopted a football team not had dc4!

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blackoutthesun · 07/11/2011 18:22

how long has he been on ranitidine for, its takes a few days to work (sorry if you already know this). never worked for my dd only when she started solids and sitting up it got better

have you been on the reflux support thread, they were a great help to me

duvetdayplease · 07/11/2011 18:25

Yes, I totally understand the need to rant, and you should do it as often as needed!

SpannerPants · 07/11/2011 18:38

Sorry things are still crap Button - hopefully the other paed can do something to help! And sympathies with the laundry situation (although my DS is a "happy chucker", he managed to impress the health visitor with the volume of vomit last week!)

Original poster
buttonmoon78 · 07/11/2011 18:40

Been on R for 9 weeks if you ignore the few days we were off it for the O.

The thread is a great help, but I feel bad when I moan too much - all me me me.

I'm just so fed up of listening to myself. And then there are those rl friends who say 'oh yes, dd/s used to sick up a lot after feeds, they were a bit refluxy too'. I've given up saying that's not reflux as it might come out as 'that's not reflux you total idiot - try visiting my house in the middle of an acid attack'

I sometimes wonder if they don't believe me when I say that sometimes I don't answer the phone as I wouldn't be able to hear what anyone says?

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Original poster
buttonmoon78 · 07/11/2011 18:45

Phew. He's finally gone to sleep. The good thing is that once he's settled for the night he's generally good - up 2/3 times. The problem is that it can be anywhere between 7-9 that he settles, usually screaming from 6 at the latest.

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DumSpiroSpero · 07/11/2011 18:56

You poor thing! DD was prescribed Nutramigen as she was chronically colicky - it is foul - have you ever actually tasted it?

Obviously it not the same thing with my DD but in the end we found organic formula helped a bit, although it only really calmed down once she was weaning.

Trust me to produce a baby who milk doesn't agree with!

Hope he's on the mend soon.

keepingupwiththejoneses · 07/11/2011 19:00

I so know how you feel button, ds2 was like that from day 1, he would scream for hours from about 4pm. He ended up on ranatadine and metacopramide(sp) I think that is what it was called. Both ds1 and ds2 ended up on neutramigen, couldn't even Bf them, and yes it is vile. I know it is a bit controversial but ds2 started on some baby rice once a day at 12 weeks and it made so much of a difference, at 15 weeks we started to add a little pear or carrot and went on from there. I had to fight to get to see a consultant too although he wasn't really gaining weight he wasn't underweight, he was 9'11" born and only 10'2" at 8 weeks.

blackoutthesun · 07/11/2011 19:04

no op rant away

another thought, have you tried ds on sma staydown?

Taranta · 07/11/2011 19:07

Big sympathy to you - I have a refluxer/CMPI DS and seem to spend mY entire life worrying/cajoling to sleep/washing clothes/fretting/wondering when next paed appointment will come through. Am using Neocate to so with you on the front.
Like blackouthesun I too ended up taking him to A&E to 'fast track' access to a specialist paed. That was after weeks of visits to useless docs telling me it was teething. Mine is a not gaining any weight though which I admit does make the paeds sit up and notice, but does make me weep with worry quite a lot, the wee scrap Sad

MissHonkover · 07/11/2011 19:24

Rant away, it's awful.

Have you tried Carobel in addition to Ranitidine? It was the only thing that worked for DD.

Original poster
buttonmoon78 · 07/11/2011 19:45

DumSpiroSpero the very thought of tasting it makes me feel sick!

keepingup we were told to wean from 16wks. Worked a treat with dd. Makes ds even more sick.

blackout & MissH we can't try that yet as the very act of thickening his feeds with the gaviscon was making it worse as the R and the O are failing to neutralise the sick enough to stop the damage.

taranta the only reason I've not ended up in a&e is that dh is away all week and I'm not taking all the dcs with me!

Now I've put it down in black and white that he's good once down he's been up and down like a yoyo.

If you knew me in rl you would know how little I swear. So it would then surprise you how blue the air is here tonight. I've just had enough.

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Taranta · 07/11/2011 20:31

OP - your DH is away all week leaving you with DCs + reflux baby?! Some kind of medal should be in order...or at least Wine

Original poster
buttonmoon78 · 07/11/2011 20:42

Needs must quite frankly. I won't open wine or I'd drink the whole bottle, but I'm troughing my way through the chocolate fudge that dd2 made earlier. Diet? What diet?

To be fair, dcs are 14, 11 and 4 other than the baby so the older two can be a great help when they're in the right mood Wink

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ballstoit · 07/11/2011 20:42

Have a Brew, a Wine and a big, fat bar of chocolate.

Do you have any other help while DH is away? Would it be worth ringing daily for poss cancellation with paed? I was told to ring at 9.30 daily when waiting for a scan appointment for me, and got slotted in on 3rd day as they had a cancellation. (Feel free to tell me to f the f off if you are/can't do this because of other DC)

Original poster
buttonmoon78 · 07/11/2011 20:56

Doing it already. Have enough children to be overly familiar with the hospital systems! Thankfully all the other dcs are at school in the day so at least they're not witnessing it ALL the time.

Unfortunately no help. Both families live a good way away and are already up to their eyes in it. As well as this, I've just lost both grandparents on my dad's side and dh has just lost his aunt who was only a few years older than him - 'just' as in, on Wednesday we'll have had 3 funerals in 10 days.

And I do have friends here but they're all busy with their own dcs. And I feel a bit awkward asking for help because, after all, we did want four dcs. I can see it in their eyes if I ever say that I'm not coping too well with the reflux. I guess I never thought I'd get a baby with it this bad. Like I said, dd was bad with it but never complained. Until this, I never knew how it could be. DD was bad enough with the constant weighing and battling to keep bf but this is totally different.

I just want to go to sleep and wake up in a different dimension. One where ds is happy and not in pain. I'd settle for the vomiting if he wasn't in pain with it. I'm not asking for perfection - just better than shitty would be nice.

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