to be upset but not surprised that my 14 yr old nephew has taken up smoking?

[Bluebell99]

I don't see my family all that often. I left home at 18 to go to uni whereas my siblings stayed at home. I now live about an hour and a half from them and they all live in within a few doors of each other and my elderly parents. My siblings are still very dependent on my parents, ie my brother lives with my mum and dad despite being 45! and my sister lives in a house that my mum bought for her. Anyway my brother and sister both took up smoking as young teens, and now my niece who is 16 smokes and so does my 14 year old nephew :( Our parents didn't smoke, but my sister and brother have always smoked around my niece and nephew. I suppose it was inevitable really, wasn't it?! My own ds is 12 and i just can't imagine him taking up smoking in two years time. Just feel sad that they have grown up so quickly. And it isn't just the smoking, it's the language they use and their lack of ambition. My niece in particular has been excluded from school for example. Just makes me sad really.

Doh, meant to add my maternal aunt smoked like a chimney throughout pregnancy and till her kids' mis teens. They HATED it. They are both very asthmatic and begged her to stop, which she finally did a year or so ago. There is no way in hell they will ever touch a cigarette.

Children do as their parents do and not as they say. If you want your DC to do the healthy thing then you have to set the right example yourself. You can't say 'smoking kills' when you are plainly quite happy to let it kill you.

Having said that my father smoked and I found it utterly disgusting, so there was no way I would ever have done it. So it can work both ways.

What I think is quite amusing, is my sister is 40 but she still doesn't smoke in front of my mum and dad and she thinks that they don't know she smokes! When they all visit me at my house, my sister will keep popping out to the shops , to the park, to make a phone call when really she is going for a fag.

I don't think that smokers understand that you can always tell from the smell.