To think that the way most parents approach toilet 'training' is strange?

[Curiouskay]

I have a DD who is 2.7 so I am not an expert on TT but what I see written in parenting books and from other mums around me doesn't strike me as the best way to approach this stage. For example, I was talking to a mum the other day who sat her child on the toilet every 20 minutes for a week or something like that. If you are constantly sitting a child, or asking 'do you need a wee wee little Johnny?' how will little Johnny work out the cues within his own body as to when he needs to go? It just comes over rather controlling and pushy for me. Are we training children on our timetable rather than theirs? And is giving chocolate as a reward for carrying out a normal bodily function not, well, a bit strange?

Like I said, I am not an expert, but I feel the current methods for TT don't sit right with me and I'd prefer to let my DD reach this important developmental milestone when she is ready. Have TT 'experts' convinced parents that this won't happen without their intervention?

I agree that watching another/older child helps no end. That was what finally helped DD to click. Then she went straight from nappies to using the toilet, almost overnight.

Kids are like dogs,when they get to toddlerhood their behaviour changes a bit when they need a wee/poo, if you know its first thing in the morning /after as meal you can watch out for it, and build in "normal"trips to the park(dog ob) or bathroom.
Dont stress about it, but read the signs.

And dont listen to the toxic people that come out of the woodwork ,who will knock jour confidence by doing it better/quicker.

I tried earlier at 2 but she just was not ready, than i had enough and started dd off when she was 3.3 years, and was showing more signs of readiness. DD has SN so different methods were used, and yes the choccy buttons were invaluable.

Well I've never really understood toilet training, I suppose because I never did it. None of our children EVER told me they had done pipi or needed to, I simply decided to take their nappies off just after the age of 2 and hey presto they took to the toilet!

But working in a nursery, I can see the pluses and negatives training early or leaving it later or following the child's lead. I really don't think their is a method which suits every child. I certainly see that some children who are still in nappies past the age of 3 who really should have had them removed earlier because they are capable yet whose parents want them to stay in nappies, then I see the children just turned 2 whose parents are insisting their children should be potty trained by the nursery, even though when we go with the parent's decision, it can be immensely stressful for the child and ends in failure. So to answer the OP, for some children putting them on a potty every 20 minutes can work well, for some it does not, but it is ultimately the parents' decision how they do toilet training, ok some fail and they have to try again later, but that's life, you learn from your mistakes.

We don't 'train' babies to go in a nappy FFS, they just have no control and therefore we put a nappy on to avoid it going everywhere.
FWIW my DS was trained just before 2 and got stickers for rewards. Each to their own.
OP read the advice and take on board what you think is good and discard the rest.

My 4 all hated the potty so we went straight to toilet. Never sat mine on it every20 mins either. Need to recognise feeling of a full bladder

YABU to be so judgemental of the chocolate buttons method. My DS was completely trained within a week with no 'plonking' and with the assistance of buttons. We just had the potty in the living room, took away nappies and encouraged him to sit on it as much as possible. After the first couple of days he was taking himself to the potty and coming to ask me for a button so it was pretty easy and effective.

I do agree with you that there is no point trying to force a child to toilet train before they are ready, and being competitive about it it twattish.

We don't let children do all sorts of things "in their own time" because generally speaking life isn't like that.

When you have a summer baby who'll be expected to be out of nappies for school when they're just four, and they're showing no inclination to use the toilet or potty at gone three, perfectly happy to sit in poo all day at three and a half... you DO have to take the initiative with them.

As with many things people who's kids have just "got it" have no idea what it is like when a child "doesn't remotely get it and appears to have no plans to get it in the forseeable future".

Leaving children in nappies til they're over 3 always seems a bit... undignified to me.

I think the most important thing is that you eventually get there in the end. By whatever means works best for you.

you need to teach children to do lots of things

by example
by repetition
by instruction
by negotiation
by bribery
by shrieking
(fairly sure there's more ways)

I think you're a bit strange to have an opinion before you've even done it once - why don't you look into what you think is right for you, do it, adapt it till it works then form your opinion

there are many ways to do many things in childhood - all of them with both advantages and disadvantages

when you get judgemental without experience you end up just being judgemental and inexperienced and have the appearance of stupidity

I can assure you there's nothing that I could have done to get DS out of nappies before he is 3. I'm just hoping Pants Day is successful and the cold turkey approach works! Not fancying leaving it until next summer, he'll be nearly 4!

was 3.

My DS is nearly 5 and still in nappies due to SN and I do agree with Rita about it being undignified :(

AVoidkaTheKillerZombies (((hugs))) and

Took 2 years to get DS1 trained. He was 5, and my second child. With DS 2 I resolved to not interfere at all. He's been clean and dry without much input from me since 2.5 years!

DS was a winter baby. At 2 all the other mums were telling me how well their toddlers were doing. Had a go at about 2yrs, 3 months - not in the least interested; waited until nice warm weather in about June (2y 6m), not interested but I tried for weeks. Sat on pot, nothing, put on trousers and hey presto. Got tired of it by about August and thought I would try again at 2y 9m. All the other mums were preening by then. At 2.8 exactly on our way out, DS said no nappy want pants, are you sure, etc., etc.. Went to the supermarket, took trolly to checkout (big shop) - "mummy, need wee" - abandoned trolley and hey presto and got back to trolley all dry and nicely done. From that day, that was it. When he was ready, he was ready. Dry at night too from 2.9 and did the same thing - "no nappy mummy". Funny thing was when he started nursery at 3.6, all those early trained children were having accidents and wearing pull ups at night. DD was pretty similar just a month later for the day time and I had to lift her until she was 5.

IMO, providing they know what's expected, they will do it when they are ready.

The lightbulb moment can come when you just don't want it!

At 2.3 DD was burnt on her hand requiring a skin graft taken from the inside of her thigh. Dr advised not to potty train for 6 weeks while the graft site was healing. She was having none of it and dicided after 2 weeks that she wanted to use the toilet just like her big brother and that was that. She did have a few accidents but not that many because she was ready.

I did the old school method. Started sitting them on the potty at nappy changes when they were babies (about 6 months). Caught a lot of things that way.

My thinking was they might as well sit on a potty as lie on a mat while I sorted the next nappy out, and any poo in a potty rather than a nappy was a bonus. Using cloth gives more of an incentive, I think. Certainly my mum trained my brother and I early, because she used terry nappies and didn't have a washing machine.

First boy "got it" very early on, and would then indicate that he needed a poo, he was mostly pooing on potty from about 9 months, and was out of nappies altogether by 18 months. Second boy took a bit longer to get dry. It was a bit of a pain taking a potty out and about though.

I've never tried the "wait until they're old enough to do it themselves" method.

If I ever had twins, I can feel an experiment coming on......

Most peoples bodily functions are time routine.

I can guarantee my Hubs will go at 6.45am on the dot.
I go at 11am
Youngest son goes at 7pm
etc etc

So by 'training' a certain time you eventually regulate the body.

So if we checked your posts trois there's always a little window then just before and after 11am .

children do not 'naturally get the idea' ..what they do is learn by example, or through persuasion. you may be happy to let your child learn by example. mine definitely needed persuasion (chocolate buttons very good for this!) as well as learning by example (i can wee on a potty without spilling a drop :) )

toilets are not a natural occurrence, nor are nappies...

YABU to be judgy about methods used by other parents. it's potty training, its not like they're trying to get them to play the Rachmaninov IV before school....do it however you want to do it yourself.

Putting my 2ps worth in :)

I think the worst thing you can do is use pull-ups. A child has to feel wet to know they have had an accident.

We were lucky as DS was TT by 2. My childminder was in her 60's and so believed that TT was started early. We cracked it in a week or so but they were housebound for that time to enable potty / toilet to be used as and when.

Some children have better control than others and DS was also dry at night by soon after day-time dry but kept in nappies purely because I didn't have a waterproof sheet on cot...........

If I was to have another child I would again start early but who knows how succesful it would be :)