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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to emigrate in order to avoid ever having to face SIL again?

72 replies

BalloonTwister · 05/11/2011 19:31

Background: SIL got married recently, and is itching to get us round to watch the video. I have already been subjected to seen it and DP is of the opinion he was there so why does he need to sit through a 2 hour video.

Fast forward to this afternoon. Had a lovely afternoon at MIL's, SIL was there, talk turned to DP's friends birthday on Monday. I said "I really don't fancy it..can't you wheel out the old excuse about it interfering with DD's routine?" I then turned to SIL (who has no children yet) and said "You'd be amazed at the boring shit I've managed to get out of with that one - she's fine having a night out of routine really but they don't need to know that". All jovial and smiley and consipiritorially with SIL at this point.

We left shortly after, and I did think SIL was a bit quiet, then, as we drove off DP informs me that he had, in fact, used this very excuse to get out of going round there tomorrow night for dinner and wedding video viewing yesterday and not told me Blush

I am mortified, feel awful and genuinely don't know what to say to make it any better....any suggestions?

OP posts:
missedith01 · 09/11/2011 16:19

Did I misunderstand earlier? She's giving people copies of the video as presents?

If so I'm sorry she's upset and that you feel bad, but ... SOMEONE had to give her a first dose of reality and it's bad luck it was you. I don't think you'll be the last.

Original poster
BalloonTwister · 09/11/2011 16:31

Not much Bear. Have tried to call and text, but no reply yet. And yes Missed, you did get that right, although in fairness MIL and my parents have got a pic of DD on a canvas., and SIL did ask if she could have one too .......maybe she thinks it's not so different?

OP posts:
eurochick · 09/11/2011 16:51

Wonderful. I am glad it is not only me who has foot in mouth disease!

(She might feel hurt for a bit but this of all the eye rolling going on behind her back it'll save her in future if she now realises that others are not as fascinated with her wedding as she is. You might actually have done her a favour. Maybe. )

fedupofnamechanging · 09/11/2011 16:53

I like lazydog and Hecate's idea. I feel really sorry for her and tbh I don't think it's weird to want to watch your own wedding video, when you've just got married. She probably thinks her family are interested and it's tactful to pretend you are.

pictish · 09/11/2011 16:57

Ooooh hahahahaaaaa! I think that is hilarious! [grin}

Never mind eh?

Btw - I don't ever want to sit through anyone's wedding video ever. Not ever. Not even my children's. I cannot think of anything worse!

pictish · 09/11/2011 17:01

Oh shit - you're actually worried that she's genuinely hurt. Sorry - jumped in and posted without reading the whole thread. Blush

5Foot5 · 09/11/2011 17:02

MY BIL/SIL gave us a DVD of their weddding. But to be fair we did miss the real thing as they arranged it all rather last minute and we had already booked and paid for a big holiday we had been looking forward to for ages and couldn't re-arrange.

So we watched it once.

Does anyone watch them more often than that?

Total waste of money if you ask me.

And did I read that right - they planned the wedding for 3 Years Shock Words fail....

malinois · 09/11/2011 17:10

You've done her a favour. Anyone who honestly thinks that people would willingly sit through someone else's wedding video is clearly deluded. Hopefully this will shock her into realising that the world does not revolve around her.

Popbiscuit · 09/11/2011 17:16

Oh dear... I feel a bit sorry for her. I got married when I was 23, a baby really, and I'm quite sure I was overly precious about most a few elements. Agree that you should address it somehow rather than just pretend it didn't happen. The idea of inviting her over to watch it (again) is a nice one.

She'll learn in time. Just like we all cringe over our PFB-ishness.

SucksToBeMe · 09/11/2011 17:18

Am still laughing as I write this. Those rare ones that make your belly shake

GrinGrinGrin

minouminou · 09/11/2011 17:33

Aiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....
We have two friends caled Ben; more precisely Wanky Ben and Non-Wanky Ben.
Wanky Ben is OK, he's actually a good guy, but he comes out with stuff like "You've got to be in it to win it" with no irony and reminds me of someone from Howard's Way (I have only seen parodies of Howard's Way, BTW). Which is why we call him WB.
Anyway......one night round at his house, WB (who works in IT, just like NWB) asked (after a previous convo about some software) if we still needed the software sorting.

"Oh no, we're OK, Non-Wanky Ben sorted it".

I still cringe. I don't think it actually registered with him, though.

SamWidgiz · 09/11/2011 17:40

Well, hopefully she'll have got the hint that her wedding video is not everyone's idea of interesting viewing!

But then I'm a bitch... Grin

pictish · 09/11/2011 17:42

God. Does anyone ever actually imagine that their wedding video is interesting to other people??
Surely not!

Sevenfold · 09/11/2011 17:46

omg sorry that is funny

CombineArvester · 09/11/2011 17:48

Non wanky Ben! No no no........

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 09/11/2011 22:06

Oh I am pmsl at non wanky Ben. And there are get outs for that bit I'm guessing your inflection was on non wanky, making any explaanation difficult :)

KiwiKat · 09/11/2011 22:16

My mother's long-term next-door-neighbour videoed my wedding, and fiddled with and tweaked it for MONTHS.

Seven months later, my husband left me for one of the secretaries at his work, and it was at this stage that the next-door-neighbour announced that he had finally finished the wedding video, and would I like to come over to their place for dinner and to watch it TO CHEER ME UP?!

I kid you not. The guy had the hide of a rhinocerous. Took me years before I could watch the blasted thing.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 09/11/2011 22:41

Bloody hell. You don't need refined social skills to know that was probably not welcome!

minouminou · 10/11/2011 11:43

The emphasis was on the "Non", Shriek.....I was fully committed at that point. There was no turning back.

Thankfully, though, he had the same hide as KiwiKat's neighbour and didn't seem to notice.

Original poster
BalloonTwister · 10/11/2011 16:21

My Mum came out with a classic a few Christmas's ago. My sisters ex partner was at hers for dinner, and as she stood at the kitchen sink looking down her pathway she remarked "Ahhh. Look at these poor homeless people coming up the road. What a terrible time to be on the streets, they don't look the full shilling."Ex bil replied "Its ok, thats my Mum and Dad, come to drop off my present" Hahahahahaha! They were a bit eccentric though.

Still no reply from SIL....I hope to God she's not a MNer, then I really will be off to warmer climes!

OP posts:
SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 10/11/2011 20:18

:o Well if she is an MNer she will see how bad you feel and hopefully have a little chuckle, along with the rest of us, and all will be forgiven

mynewpassion · 10/11/2011 21:35

I think your DH needs to apologize to her, too.

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