...to wonder how in the hell my pubes ended up there?!

[StealthPenguin]

I'm in the bathroom. Just had a long shower as it's been a hectic day - face mask, cup of tea, my special shower stuff that's quite expensive and smells DE-LISH. I also trimmed my fanjo because DP has been winding me up all day and I'm looking forward to some fun tonight.

I'm in front of the mirror, cleaning my teeth in just my panties and a towel-turban. DP comes in, smacks my bum and begins brushing his teeth.

Moth comes in, scaring the life out of me. DP acts the hero, gets rid of it.

He then turns to me and asks me, with a completely deadpan expression..."Babe? How did your pubes end up on the ceiling?"

I look. I gawp. There's three short, curly, bright ginger hairs stuck to the ceiling above the shower.

HOW. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK?! LOL!

My DP is now enjoying the "hedge-trim" jokes, offering me a strimmer and industrial tools for next time.

But seriously... HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET UP THERE?!

Perhaps they belonged to the moth?

The spiders take them out of the soap, to make their webs. You didn't believe that thing about spiders creating silk from their bottoms, did you? Total urban myth. They use pubes.

LMAO. I don't know the logistics of moth-genitalia but a visual comparison has confirmed they are mine. I just have no idea how they got up there!! I knew I was a little hairy downstairs but I didn't realize that they defy gravity!

Maybe they were scared and trying to stay warm?

Haha! I have no idea how they got there but best aibu for ages!! Think you might need to involve CSI...are you the only ginger? They will suspect you straight away!!

I AM the only ginger. Well, aside from my baby boy, but he isn't quite as ginger as I am, he has never been taken into the bathroom as we wash him in the sink and they are definitely pubes! This shit is just weird!

kitchen sink

Any more theories lol? Or is everyone just going to laugh at me? ;)

Two pubes sat on a bog seat, one pube says to his mate "What time you staying here till?"
"Oh I dunno," says his mate "Till i get pissed off."

at moth pubes.

ROFL!

By the way not only do you have to clean your ceiling you also need to pay my dry cleaning bill now!!

PMSL

Perhaps they are light and rose with the steam? Open window and wind?

Not a chance - I have my own dry-cleaning bill to be dealing with! DP and I laughed so hard I actually had to sit on the loo and pee. And then we laughed some more.

But I'm now so sore from laughing that rumpy-pumpy is almost definitely out of the picture. Nothing kills the mood more than levitating fanjo hair.

How about starting a "strangest place I ever found a pubic hair" survey? I have a few corkers to get this started: on the sofa, in DD's reading book from school (oh yes) and in the cake mix (oh yes). Anyone else????

THE CAKE MIX?!?!

WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU PUTTING THE SPATULA?!

PMSL @ levitating fanjo hair.

Thank you for the best AIBU for ages

And I've found them in DP's pants, in the dog bowl, on some towels that hadn't been used in about a decade (God knows how that happened...) and in my hairbrush. The last one isn't THAT weird, as it's a hairbrush... but I don't exactly have much to brush down there! So no idea how any of them happened...

Yes, I know...odd.... maybe I shouldn't put the tea towells and pants in the same wash??? (Now I come to think of it, this does make me sound like a dirty slattern...I'm not, honestly)

You win a glass of just for your use of the word "slattern". Not heard that since my NannyMa passed away! (My great-grandmother to you)

Gravity/pissed off or on pubes! Surely one of them is the rational explaination!! Has been VERY windy the last few days!

Ds is ginger, not a pube problem, so far, however in a house of 3 girls & him he insists its not him that pees on the back of the toilet...

trying to think of the contortions me and the girls would have to achieve

I shamelessly pinched the word "slattern" from another AIBU -wonderful word. Tea towells and pants in the same wash - have I unwittingly committed a faux pas in admitting this? .....Anyone....??

Also loving NannyMa! Our version is BigNan, she isn't a fan bless her! What I'm fatter than all the other nans?!

CAKE?!?!
feels poorly emoticon

Maybe your DH deliberately left the light on and window open to create moth-gate in order to surreptitiously steal them from you and hurl them to the ceiling while you were protecting yourself from the evil insect attack...to provoke some kind of kinky ceiling cleaning related foreplay? If he pulls out a maid's outfit I'm right.

Hot air rises.

Very simple.

I have never read an OP with such a plethora of TMI.