AIBU to think sex education in schools is inadequate?

[CreamolaFoamless]

my sons girlfriend said yesterday 'i prefer the pill to the injection (?) because it is natural and doesn't interfere with your body

She had no idea what it actually does. She is 18

I thought sex education was ment to better these days. I know in my day it was crap but I thought it would have improved?

Her naviety shocked me ...yes she is only 18 but seems to have left school with strange notions about sex and contraception

I know it's not just the schools job but it seems as many people leave school now without a clue about contraception or sex as they always did.

Surely in 2011 we should have a better approach to teaching our children 'the facts of life'

Brooke Advisory just did a survey about this and they, and the young people surveyed, agree with you so YANBU.

not unreasonable although i'm sure i had more of a clue when i left school 9 years ago. tehn got pregnant while on the pill and using condoms at 17

YABU Age 18, someone thinking about contraception and having regular sex is quite capable of going to their GP or Family Planning Clinic and getting the information for themselves.

They teach them from primary school all about the body and even touch on subjects such as masturbation. However the sex education atm seems to focus on how to have sex and how to prevent babies. What it does not do is tell young people how to keep themselves safe, that saying 'no' is perfectly ok or about healthy and happy relationships.

There needs to be more emphasis on respect not just for themselves but for each other too. As porn is now freely available for all to see on the net, I'd also like to see them cover healthy and happy relationships as I was shocked by a Newsbeat report on how young men admit that porn has changed the way they view sex and relationships.

Also they need to start treating secondary school children with a little more respect themselves. My nieces have all had the cervical cancer jab but no-one in their school told them what cervical cancer was or how you caught it. They gave them no options to discuss what it meant.

I think our whole society's attitudes to words and concepts like "natural" are inadequate, as well.

P.S.: Tell her she's quite entitled to insist your son uses a condom.

P.P.S: tell your son that condoms could potentially be better for his girlfriend's health.

YANBU, the sex ed we had was rubbish, never even went into contraceptives beyond a condom.

There was a scheme when I reached college and some of us (college students) 'taught' the year 9's about relationships and sex ed as well as the teachers. The y9's had a survey afterwards and most of them said they preferred us teaching them as they felt more comfortable, and they pissed about less for us than the teachers. However they did when their teacher interrupted and tried to get them to hold hands and explained that it was showing affection

My point is that different approaches need to be found, and using people closer to their age seemed to work better in my school.

But then at 18 somebody having sex should be mature enough to seek advice on contraceptive methods or find out information for themselves.

"What it does not do is tell young people how to keep themselves safe, that saying 'no' is perfectly ok or about healthy and happy relationships."

Because that's your job. The parents' job. As their parent, you are best placed to advise on safe sex, self-respect and what consitutes a healthy, happy relationship. Talk to them and tell them about it all. Don't know why we so many have this weird idea that we just send them to school age 5 and they're supposed to emerge age 16 as fully functioning adults, wise to the ways of the world, with no intervention from us.... bizarre

MrsTerryPrachett that's interesting.

I did initially think that DS1 was possibly dating a dozy mare, but, if the lack of knowledge is common it makes me feel better in respect of her but really sad children still have the lack knowledge in regards to sex in 2011

CogitoErgoSometimes she is on the pill already and thinks it is a natural method of contreception so her GP obviously just gave it her without explaining how it works

Cognito - you could argue that telling them about sex and relationships is also the parents job, couldn't you?
Do you not think that if they are taught about healthy and happy relationships, respect, saying no and keeping themselves safe at school they might take more notice than just another lecture from mum?

If the government are to take away our rights as parents to decide when and how to tell our children about sex then they should do it properly, because those parents who don't tell them anything are also less likely to talk to them about respect either.

And thanks for the , I actually don't think any of that whatsoever and am fully involved in my childrens' lives thanks.

She will have been given an advisory leaflet and, if not, she should have asked a few questions. That's what being an adult means... not just the calendar flipping to the right date. If nothing else, tell her to read the big leaflet that is in every packet. If her own parents have let her down and she's not got the gumption to get the information, maybe you need to fill that gap?

Yabu - sex education is the parents job imo - plus you're talking about understanding different methods of contraception which is a GP's job surely?

Rhubarb.... it is your job to tell them about sex and relationships. It shouldn't come as a surprise when they talk about it in class. School can give them the biology but you have to add the morality - because that's individual to your family and everyone has a different idea of what relationships look like. If families don't want to talk about biology or morality then they are letting their children down and school can't be expected to pick up the slack. Government are not 'taking away our rights' to talk to our children about sex - that's rubbish.

thanks theScaryJessie he does use condoms.

It turns out she has been on the pill since age 14 because her doctor prescribed them for painful periods. That in itself makes me rather angry on her behalf

Hmm, not sure. In an ideal world it would involve a lot more practical and medical advice but also a lot more guidence on the emotional repercussions of sex and relationships. It should also include info about respecting other people's bodies as well as your own and also imformation about alternative sexual preferences i.e. homosexual or a-sexual.

But if we're going to demand that then we also need more guidence on morals in general. Also healthy eating/ nutrition. Also financial guidence i.e credit cards and loans, store cards and savings. Maybe some info about health insurance and paying bills, getting a mortgage, how to do an interview. Teaching table manners would give a lot of kids a better start.

It is a real toughy because that all of this falls under the unbrella of "things your parents and wider family should teach you" It's not really the job of the education system and they simply don't have time.

It is a sad fact though that most of these things aren't being taught at home. Don't know the answer.

Can you imagine the furore if schools started advising children what sort of contraception to use?

YABU. It is not the schools' job - it is the parent's or the GP's job to go into detail about what sort of contraception is most appropriate for a teenager's needs. The school should teach about the risks of sex without contraception - but if anything they discuss condoms in more detail because they offer some protection against disease as well as pregnancy. To actually ADVISE on contraception though would be really very difficult.

I received NO sexual education at all. My mother made sure of that.

At 18, I could explain the functioning of most contraceptive methods, and the pros and cons of each, together with the typical use and perfect use failure rate.

Because I can read. Medical dictionaries in library, leaflets in walk-in centres and GP surgeries, and the flaming internet, and leaflets in the packets.

She's dozy, but not unusual.

I even saw a thread once, by an adult woman, asking if a particular symptom could have been caused by her pill. I was on the same one at the time, so I knew that the symptom was described, in detail, on the tablet leaflet that came with it. Why did she never look at it?!

x-post

I know this will sound daft but I think young women now are turning 16 with a really warped view of sex and little knowledge of contraception.

Sex Education didnt really exist when I was at school (I'm 42) but we had things like the Jackie magazine that did talk about periods and relationships , then seventeen or cosmo, which although they were magizines filled in the gaps for alot of girls.

Young women don't have that these days.

She has a mum but they don't have a good relationship and I'm guessing she hasnt explained contraception to her in any detail. I suppose I'm thinking that is where the school should step in because not every child has parents who will talk openly about sex and staying safe and respecting your self

it is not the education that is the problem it is the stupid children/adults

by stupid i mean they do not listen or think for themselves to clue themselves up on things

Cognito, they are taking away our rights if they insist on it being compulsory at school, which there was talk of.

I'm sorry but if they tell our children how to make babies, they also have a duty to tell them loud and clear that it is illegal to have sex before the age of 16 (in the primary DVDs it is mentioned once, in passing, just after the talk about wanking) and they should also teach them about keeping themselves safe, i.e. it being wrong for people to try and touch them or pressure them into doing anything they don't want to do.

They talk to kids in yr6 about wanking but don't talk to them about respect? If the government want to take on the parents role and teach kids about sex (which I believe IS the parents job and not the schools just as some people would argue religion should stay at home) then they should embrace the whole package and not just the easy bit of telling them where the penis goes and about periods.

Yes everyone has different morals, which is why I'm surprised that you think it ok for kids as young as 7 to be given sex education but are not arsed about them providing children with legal information about consent and age.

Some thing is undoubtedly going wrong somewhere. To really have a handle on anything, you need to expend some mental effort. Whether it's mobile phone deals, Dulux paint mixing, or contraception.

Contraception use or misuse can affect the rest of your life. Yet so many people, young and supposedly adult, male and female, are so lackadaisical about it.

The sex education I received was a joke and focused more on abstinance than actual education.
In addition to the simple biology of how sex works, sex education should include information on STDs and how they are transmitted and prevented and pregnancy and how it's prevented.

Ideally sex education would also cover loving relationships, respect and (really importantly) rape education.

Rhubarb0oooo, could you try and rephrase that, so you don't come across as a bit, erm, rabid?

I'm afraid I have a bit of an allergic reaction every time a parent talks about "our rights".

ThisIsANickname - my point exactly.
The statistics are scary. Again a poll on Newsbeat revealed that most girls regretted losing their virginity when they did and that many were drunk when it happened.
Parents are of a different generation and are no longer able to discuss these things with children because let's face it, many parents in their 30s and 40s didn't have as much freedom as children do now. The internet hadn't taken off and many parents are still clueless about pornography on the web, chat sites and so on.

If the schools take on the task of sex education then they really should teach children all aspects. Yes that message can be reaffirmed at home, but I think it's a stronger message when discussed at school with friends.