AIBU to think sex education in schools is inadequate?

[CreamolaFoamless]

my sons girlfriend said yesterday 'i prefer the pill to the injection (?) because it is natural and doesn't interfere with your body

She had no idea what it actually does. She is 18

I thought sex education was ment to better these days. I know in my day it was crap but I thought it would have improved?

Her naviety shocked me ...yes she is only 18 but seems to have left school with strange notions about sex and contraception

I know it's not just the schools job but it seems as many people leave school now without a clue about contraception or sex as they always did.

Surely in 2011 we should have a better approach to teaching our children 'the facts of life'

What is Rhubarb0 going on about?
I can't work out if she's a Guardian reader on the loose or the pope?

I think children as young as 7 are old enough to understand the biology of reproduction & I think children as young as 7 are capable of understanding whatever morals & values their parents choose to pass on to them. The two can happen in parallel. If parents are not passing on any morality or values a school can provide some basics in the form of school rules or by encouraging philosophical 'what would you do' debates on certain issues. It is not their job to teach morality however.

TheScaryJessie, I don't like this nanny state that tells parents what they can and cannot do. It is well within the rights of a parent to take children out of religious studies and prayers and so it should be, also with sex education, I would not like to see it made compulsory because I think that no matter what your opinion on it is, every parent does have the right to parent their child how they see fit and not according to a government agenda.

I'm a troll rycooler, obviously.

Right, that clears the matter up.

It wasn't a simple mis-phrasing; you do not believe that children have an innate right to fairly simple information about physiological functions.

And that is why you repeatedly frame your thoughts in terms of your rights, and not that of your children or their right to education.

I'm surprised that some people think it's the job of the GP to discuss contraception? Surely the girl should have the information already from school (if her parents don't discuss sex)

The pill is full of chemicals that may decrease a women's fertility , but a don't think GP's point that out when they prescribe them?

I agree with ThisIsANickname sex education should cover loving relationships, repect and rape.

I'm just a bit flumexed that young women are leaving school with a really naive attitude towards sex and contraception

That should read: your children's rights

apologies if I confused matters...I was referring to sex education for children who have gone through puberty.

The debate on 7 years olds and sex education is a whole different kettle of fish

Says you? Putting words into my mouth?

Where have I said that I do not want my children to have a sex education? I said that I would prefer that I provided them with this but would embrace the idea if the school provided everything that ThisIsANickname focused on.

Perhaps you would find it easier to disagree with me if you discovered I was some evangelical Christian who denouces sex as evil? Well I'm not, I'm a long standing Mumsnetter of 10 years who just happens to have a different opinion to you.

I also don't think I said that I didn't think my kids have rights. In fact they both have a copy of the Amnesty book of children's rights. But as their primary carer, I also think that my rights as their mother are pretty damn important too. I like to think that I know when each of my children is mature enough to handle certain subjects. For instance my 11yo dd is very mature and has known about sex and periods from a very early age, but my 7yo ds is very naive and so for him it's been a slower process. But he too knows about periods and where babies come from.

Sorry to have shaken up your presumptious image of who I was and what kind of parent I was.

Creamola - I agree actually, information about contraception should also be taught in schools. How many young people would make an appointment their GP to discuss contraception? Again, if schools go through sex with them then they should also go through contraception, STDs, etc.

But it is a message that should also be reaffirmed at home. My dd knows about the pill as I take it and I've told her what it's for. Same with condoms.

Sex education, and human physiology should be taught continuously, and progressing, as children grow up, in the same way as the rest of scientific instruction.

And yes, relationships, and one's rights to bodily integrity and privacy should be covered at school. For the child's sake, as it is a sad fact that many children won't be getting that information at home, either, whether out of benign or malign motivations.

CF; I didn't receive any sex education at school - absolutely nothing. I survived. I'm not sure children take much notice at school tbh, they learn everything from their friends or off the telly ( or Internet these days ) and as we have one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Europe - I'd say sex education in schools is a complete waste of time and money.

Isn't that what I said?

Obviously as a mother I would prefer to cover these topics at home at times when I feel it is appropriate to do so. I would not like sex education to become compulsory for those reasons. I think parents should have the right, for religious reasons or otherwise, to withdraw their children if they want to.

However I also find the sex education in schools woefully inadequate, with just DVDs for primary school kids - no discussion (at least not in our school). And secondary schools - no discussion on contraception? Giving the cervical cancer jab without discussion? Again, woefully inadequate.

You haven't shaken up my image of you at all.

You appear to have a terrible one of me, though. No, I'm not assuming you're a Christian of any stripe, nor did I have any particular pre-conceptions about the length of your registration here. (Not quite sure of the relevance of your "I'm a proper Mumsnetter" sentence. Really, what relevance does it have to a discussion of education rights?)

I'm disagreeing with what you have written, thus far.

It's a bit early in a thread for people to have to be reminded what they actually typed (two freaking pages...), but cometh the moment, and all that.

"It is well within the rights of a parent to take children out of religious studies and prayers and so it should be, also with sex education, I would not like to see it made compulsory because I think that no matter what your opinion on it is, every parent does have the right to parent their child how they see fit and not according to a government agenda."

You may, or may not, plan to use that right for your children, but you believe in that entitlement. This is the issue.

Isn't that what I said?

We're cross-posting.

Correct me if I am wrong, Rhubarb0oooo, but I get the impression that what you are saying is that sex education should not be mandatory because we all have different ideas of what our children should learn and that it's not the government's job to dictate that to anybody... And of course what the government does mandate is usually decided by lobbyists and not necessarily by experts.

If that's true, I agree with you.

The problem is when you get the government giving woefully inadequate information to children, at least some of them are going to believe that that's all they need to kno. And some may even go so far as to believe that their parents are scare mongering or out of touch with the information available today.
If I were to send my child to a school whose sex education curriculum was similar to mine, I would prefer them not learn anything at school and to teach them myself.

*know

I promise I do know how to spell.

Yes ThisIsANickname it is.

Sorry TheScaryJessie but someone else asked who I was and if I was either a Guardian reader or the Pope, which is why I felt the need to reaffirm who I was just in case they thought I was either trolling or stirring.

These topics do tend to bring out strong opinions and I am aware that I am quite opinionated on this one.

I was not given a sex education at school (not one of any consequence anyway) and my mother was a bit like the mother of Carrie, so I have done my best to be open and honest with my children.

However I'm not sure why I am not allowed to say that I have rights as a parent? Of course I should be able to have a say in how my children are taught? Shouldn't I?

@rycooler that is kind of my point or question though? Sex education is obviously failing given my sons girlfriend thinking that the pill is natural and doesnt put chemicals into your body

and the high rate of teenage pregancies as you pointed out.

Surely someone somewhere can educate young men and women on these matters

can I just add my school sex education was my biology teacher wearing a t-shirt that had a hedgehog shagging a hairbrush...seriously

he was the elected teacher for the 'sex education' and he just wore the t-shirt to all 3 classes and said 'I can't talk about sex with you kids my t-shirt has the instuctions'

he was a really good science teacher and the whole thing was awkward but the first time I had sex I thought I'd invented a new position (it was missionary) because I was face up and I thought women had do be face down to have sex

I was 17 ffs

Ah, that clears up the context of that sentence massively. I've been staring at the screen, muttering, "but why? Why? Why?!!!! Is she trying to tell me she's a Big Girl?"

Rights of a Parent: my rights as a parent are over-ridden by what is actually in my children's interests, as I expect most people agree, and then argue about the application.

It is a questions of phrasing, and beliefs, which are something quite difficult to hash out on an internet forum anywhere. As a general rule, if you want to withdraw a child from mathematics, chemistry, sex education, or to have the right to do so, your argument should be about why you think it will be better for your child not to be taught that/in that way, not "it's my right as a parent", because "it's my right as a parent" can be and is used to justify a hell of lot and accepted to, as well.

This, of course, may be my lenses distorting my view of life, but if any person cannot argue for something without "my rights as a parent", then they're beeeeeeing unreasonable.

I still think the school should play a part as not every child receives sex education at home

And it's not the government interfering , it's people who are around your DC's equipping them with knowledge to ensure they know what's what in regard to sex and contraception.

I wish they'd step up a gear to be honest as their are young women leaving school without a scoobie

Creamola, I just wish they'd cover EVERYTHING and not just the basics, but emotional issues too.

ScaryJessie - of course I wouldn't do something merely because I have the right to do so, I'm troubled that's what you thought I had said? I think parents should have a say in every aspect of their children's lives and be encouraged to do so more often.

A prime example of how inadequate the school prepares children for life outside is when our primary school set up an IT club after school. Stupidly I thought it was all to do with teaching kids about the internet, IT skills and so on but no, it was all about the kids playing games whilst the teacher had a cup of tea. I was horrified that they were not taught internet safety so I offered to go in and do it for them. I was given 10mins which was most certainly not enough, but the teachers didn't want the kids to suffer by missing out on their computer games .

There's only so much schools can do though - yes they should educate on reproduction and sexual health, but sex education is the prime responsibility of the family - because it's your family who give you self-respect and confidence - these things can't be 'taught' in a classroom.

do you think though that learning algebra is more important than learning about life and your body ?