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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have the dummy fairy coming already?

46 replies

Flojo1979 · 04/11/2011 13:21

I am a no nonsense style parent. And decided earlier in the week that the dummy fairy was coming on friday night (tonight) since its wkend, incase i get disturbed sleep etc.
My mother however thinks I'm cruel and shes only a baby and its too soon.
My DD is 3 in 3 wks time, she only has her dummy at night hence my mum saying its doing no harm let her keep it. Whereas i think it'll be better for her teeth just to take it off her (via the fairy!) and let her cry it out for a couple of nights then she'll be fine. She still has cot side on as she has shown no interest in climbing and its getting to point where i think its best to take side off but it'd be wiser to take dummy off her while shes contained in her cot and cant bed hop all night.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 04/11/2011 13:23

I think YANBU. I know dentists don't like dummies. Just do it!

dearheart · 04/11/2011 13:24

Just to warn you, I did this and dd found her thumb within 24 hours. It is a lot harder to control than the dummy, and I wish I had just let her keep the thing (hers was an good orthodontic shape). So I think this depends on how sucky your dc is - if she is super-sucky like mine she will just find another habit.

TandB · 04/11/2011 13:27

We had a visit from the dummy fairy (aka the Faceplug Fairy in our house) a few weeks ago. DS was 2 and a month or so.

The fairy didn't just turn up without notice though - we had several conversations about her and about how she would bring a big-boy present when she finally decided to take the faceplug away, but that she would want to know that he could sleep without it for a few nights before she came.

He whinged a bit the first night but only for a few minutes and the next few nights he kept asking if the fairy was coming. We did 5 nights without it and then had the ceremonial faceplug removal and present from the fairy. He has never mentioned it again.

bringmesunshine2009 · 04/11/2011 13:32

3 is fine. Go for it. Is it worra who gets mad about people describing toddlers as "bayyybbeeeees"? Not a baby anymore, dummy fairy coming.

butterfliesinmytummy · 04/11/2011 13:34

Go for it - wish I had the guts to have the dummy fairy come to my just 3 year old. Dentists don't seem too bothered about dummies as long as they are gone by the time adult teeth come through, but my DD sneaks hers during the day sometimes and that's the part I object to. Will have the dummy fairy visit before Christmas I think.....

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 04/11/2011 13:35

Ah maybe i should do that then? She knows the fairy is coming and we've decorated a present bag ready and later this afternoon we were going to collect all the dummies (which i still need to find!), and then just go for it. Be ruthless bin them and leave her to cry herself to sleep, sounds so cruel but i expect it'll be worse for me than her!

OP posts:
Gemjar · 04/11/2011 13:35

Good luck, I don't think that she will necessarily suck her thumb, I think that if babies/children want to suck their thumb they will even if they have a dummy, they don't have it in all the time do they? and if she hasn't reached for the thumb yet, chances are she won't. DS1 who is 3 always refused a dummy but does suck his thumb, he doesn't do it often though and only if he is really tired. DS2 who will be 1 in a couple of weeks has a dummy and has never sucked his thumb. Yesterday, we actually lost his dummy so he went to bed without it, he was fine until about 6am when he was half awake and wouldn't settle back down at all with no dummy, other than that though he slept right through and doesn't seem to have found his thumb at all. I am happy to have the excuse for getting rid of it tbh as I think they look horrible

lazylula · 04/11/2011 13:37

If mine had dummies I would aim at being completely dummy free by 3 tbh. They are still 'little' but certainly not babies! Do thumb fairies exist? We will need one of those in a few years as dd (6m) is a thumb sucker, looks cute at the moment but I know the problems with stopping it, still I have no intention of stopping her at the moment as she is happy!

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 04/11/2011 13:37

ok butterflies, I'll keep u posted how it goes then since the general censensus seems to be go for it

OP posts:
Original poster
Flojo1979 · 04/11/2011 13:40

She only has it at night now, as afternoon naps r rare these days. On the rare occassion she has been unsettled getting off to sleep, usually when she demands i read her book again which i refuse to give in to, i close the door and she cries for about half an hour. Do u think I'm being mean? should i go up after a set time? I usually find if i do, i never helps and often makes the cries louder when i leave again.

OP posts:
snitchrose168 · 04/11/2011 13:42

I don't know if this is an option for you Flojo but as it's so close to Christmas it might work. Last year our shopping centre had a dummy Christmas tree. It was a normal Christmas tree but little kids could put their dummy on it and the christmas elves took it away :) DS is only 15 months so it could be an option for us next year.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 04/11/2011 13:43

Btw my mums the first to complain if she sees a toddler running round with it in their mouth. Tutting and saying it should only be for bedtime! Neither me or my bro had dummies, funny how she always has an opinion tho, funny how its usually the opposite of mine!

OP posts:
Original poster
Flojo1979 · 04/11/2011 13:45

Thats a fantastic idea snitch but I've never seen anything like that round here. I was originally going to do it on xmas eve and have santa take them away but then thought wiser of it. A tired toddler on xmas day with dinner at my folks etc was not going to end well!

OP posts:
mrskeithlemon · 04/11/2011 13:46

I took ds dummy away before he ws 1

YANBU

snitchrose168 · 04/11/2011 13:49

How about putting the dummy on your mum's tree a few weeks before Christmas? And then wait a few days until it's taken away. Your DD will be excited seeing if it's still there everyday and then when it's gone it will be cool :) Plus you could put a little pressie under there for her.

naturalbaby · 04/11/2011 13:51

i did both my older kids at the same time - 3yr old and nearly 2yr old. i talked a lot about it to my 3yr old so he really, really knew and understood what was going to happen. for a while he just burst into tears at the thought of it but eventually seemed to accept it so off they went. he woke up crying a few times when he realised it was really gone but they were both fine, and i'm sooooooo glad they're gone!

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 04/11/2011 13:54

Snitch thats a really good idea, i wish I'd have thought of it before, we r all ready for tonight with the decorated bag etc and from what everyone has said I'm going to stick to my guns and do it, so look out for my post later "my DD wont stop crying what shall i do!"

OP posts:
DressDownFriday · 04/11/2011 13:55

My friend had a baby shortly before my DD's 3rd birthday. I explained to DD that the baby needed the dummies and she handed them over - no problem. Never looked back after then. (Although she was a bit Hmm when she didn't recognise his dummies on the next visit)

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 04/11/2011 13:56

When i first told her about it she was convinced the dummy fairy was coming to take her old ones away and bring her a nice big pink fairy dummy, i just hope she really understands thats not going to be the present!

OP posts:
snitchrose168 · 04/11/2011 13:56

LOL! Good luck. And remember if it doesn't work it's only a few weeks until the dummy trees go up Grin

AnotherEmptyNest · 04/11/2011 14:01

I was determined that my two would never have a dummy and they didn't. My DD took to her thumb though and I think a thumb being sucked is so much more awww! than a dummy. My DS just took to biting his nails

gallicgirl · 04/11/2011 14:02

3?? Blimey! My LO is 9 months old and we're looking at taking the dummy off her. We're working on only having it at sleep times for now.

Do people find a gradual approach is better or going cold turkey? Can't discuss it with her like an older child so not sure.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 04/11/2011 14:03

ah thats a good idea, she obsessed at the min with my bro's baby, he lives down south and every baby thing she sees its "thats for baby charlie" etc so maybe if she waivers i can tell her they r going to baby charlie and she'll be much happier.
When i was pregnant with DD, DS wouldnt walk anywhere, always wanted his pram, did 3 steps then threw himself on floor etc, in end i told him his lil sis needed the pram. Days later he told random passing person "my mummy has eaten my pram so i have to walk".

OP posts:
Hadeda · 04/11/2011 14:05

Adding to the "go for it". FWIW, if the dummy fairy plan doesn't work, I just took DD2's dummy away (she is 2.4 years) and was very attached to it, needed it for every nap/sleep at night and whenever we went in the car. I was on leave over half term so decided it was time. Snipped a hole in all of them and she could have her dummy as often as she liked, it just didn't work. She sucked first one, it didn't work; got second one etc. Tried that on three of them, threw the last one on the floor in a temper and had a good tantrum. And that was that. No problem at night, no problem in the car, nothing.
Did the same thing with DD1 at the same age with the same results - dummy gone in 24 hours (minus the throwing on the floor and tantrum part but DD2 is much more ... errr ... bad tempered spirited).

Good luck! As much as it was a help when they were babies, it really does feel good to get rid of that stupid plug!

Forrestgump · 04/11/2011 14:06

our dummyfairy came at 2 1/2, so I agree entirely with you. Ive actually always felt once they are old enough to ask for it, then you start weaning it away.