Young children, food & (sorry) FB

[SausageGoulsAndFruitSpooks]

I did have a friend on FB. We "fell out" over this, I don't think AIBU. Do you?

Basically she put a status up saying that her daughter (not even 2yrs old) had cried herself to sleep because she was hungry, but as DD refused her dinner, mum wasn't "giving in" and letting her have any other food.

In comments to friends under status she said that she had made something new and that DD wouldn't even try it so she took it away and made Dd's all time favourite meal, which she also refused to touch so she went to bed hungry.

I pointed out that if DD had refused the first meal, you could possibly come to the conclusion that she was just being fussy but if she had also refused her all time favourite meal then it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that her DD was probably just not hungry at that time. That doesn't stop her being hungry a hour or so later though and that giving her a slice of toast or piece of fruit before bed wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

I was told to keep my nose out and that it was none of my business (why put it as a FB status then) and that my boys must be spoilt brats if I give them a bowl of cereal or something before bed if they are hungry.

Other people where saying that she should dish up last nights dinner to DD in the morning for breakfast and every meal after that until she ate it.

We do dinner here between 5 & 6pm. I judge timing on what we have done that day, how much the boys have eaten and go from there. Neither of them where eating much at 5pm but they eat much better if they have dinner at around 6pm. Very rarely they are still not particularly hungry at 6pm so on those occasions they'll have a bowl of cereal or slice of toast around 7pm before bed.

I don't think I'm turning them into spoilt brats by using this method. I just don't understand why parents get so worked up when Dc won't eat dinner at 5pm on the dot but then refuse to give them anything when they are hungry later.

YANBU in your way of thinking.....(my DS is very fussy and often just has toast or something similar before bed - no way would I let him go to bed hungry) but I wouldnt bother getting into a debate on FB over it....she sounds a bit daft so just let her get on with it.

And as for people suggesting she gives the same meal for breakfast and every meal after........they seem to be living in the dark ages, maybe they are trying to encourage eating disorders!

spring and port wine!

YANBU. The poor little mite. I know where I'd like to shove the food!

Other people where saying that she should dish up last nights dinner to DD in the morning for breakfast and every meal after that until she ate it.

What a bloody horrible parents.

strandedbear then you should be ashamed of yourself, and you'll be taking a nice route to causing food issues.

slight x-post, but only very slight, because I still disagree with the chain of thought, even minus the re-serving of something for breakfast

It's the sort if opinion I would have had prior to having children. Of course, once you have kids the rules change completely!

I'm sorry but in this house (and I have a child with food issues and this is what works for us) - I dish the dinner up. I don't make something they genuinely don't like. If you don't eat it, fine. No sweets. No pudding (if there is pudding it's rare in this house).

Wouldn't feed it to them the next day, but no way would they be getting 2 options and pandered to like your friend did, and they definitely wouldn't be getting a nice wee piece of toast later. They would get normal supper before bed and learn that mummy doesn't cook a different dinner if you girn.

Sending a child to bed hungry, because they refused to eat before they were hungry is simply asinine.

i'm with fluffy. i wouldn't even have done what your friend did and made the favourite meal after the refusal of the first.

dinner is made and set on the table. you dont want it, you dont eat it but there is nothing else. no alternatives, no snacks, no cereal. there is plenty of fruit for anyone who wants it.dinner is between 5 and 6 in my house and we dont do supper so it's dinner then bath then bed. if you dont eat dinner that's your tough luck.

Child in bed, crying because she was hungry, yet not being allowed any food, as a punishment for refusing to eat the previous meal= potential food issues in later life.

Did you not read the same OP I did?

StrandedBear - seems like we have an identical approach.

FWIW my DD1 used food as a control thing - the only way to break it was the eat it or don't eat it that's all you're getting approach.

Oh and Booyhoo same as you too

And mine only get a supper before bed now they're bigger, when they were small it was dinner, bath, bed.

going to bed hungry isn't a punishment. it's a consequence. common sense no? you dont eat = you will be hungry.

my dcs understand that there simply isn't enough food to be making alternatives. i meal plan and am on a tight budget. ds1 is 6 and understands this, he knows that what gets set down is dinner. he never opts for the alternative of not eating FWIW. they are always hungry come dinner time.

Ah, I took it more as a "child, you will eat at these prescribed times, and no others" thread.

One meal here, eat that or go hungry. As far as this approach causing food issues, actually it's the opposite. The boys eat just about anything as they have learned not to be fussy. They each have 2 or 3 things they don't like and I respect that but i think it's important that they eat what has been cooked for them and not expect to be pandered to with a different meal later on. It's a waste of food to boot!

No stranded bear. Dd was in bed hungry because she refused to eat at 5pm so mum refused to give her anything. Even giving the dd her previously made dinner would have been fine to me but mum refused to giver her anything as she thinks it's eat when I tell you or you get nothing.

Im totally with TheScaryJessie on this one.

The rest of you are horrors

I would do the same - dinner is served, you either eat it or not, but there's nothing else til breakfast.

If you get into the habit of just giving a child toast and fruit later, you end up with a child who will hold out for toast and fruit.

I wouldn't serve up last night's dinner for breakfast though, that's ridiculous.