Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have written to the school about the Christmas shoebox scheme?

353 replies

gastrognome · 02/11/2011 08:13

Just had a look through the leaflet sent home from DD1's school about the Christmas shoebox scheme that they are involved in.

Turns out the organisation adds religious literature to the boxes before they are distributed.

I love the idea of filling and sending a Christmas shoebox for somebody less privileged than us, but I really don't like the fact that these schemes are used as a means to evangelise. Of course Christmas is by its very nature a Christian festival but I don't think that it's right to "spread the word" by stealth.

So I just wrote to DD's school and suggested that next year they look for a similar scheme that isn't so evangelical in nature. I said I'd be happy to help research any organisations they could work with.

Do any others feel the same way, or have I turned into Scrooge?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 02/11/2011 09:16

How did you find out about the Religious literature OP?

startwig1982 · 02/11/2011 09:19

There's no point sending a Christmas box and expect it not to have a Christian message as Christmas (shockingly) is a Christian festival. Without Christianity, it wouldn't exist. It's a chance to make someone's life a little better, even if it's just for one day. If you're that anti then don't do it. As an alternative, donate some money to charity. But remember, Christmas is not about the commercial present giving-it's about celebrating the birth of Christ, who was an amazing man who sought to bring peace to the world. Smile

porcamiseria · 02/11/2011 09:19

agree, rarther than bitch about them look at yourself

do you buy easter eggs
do you buy hot cross buns
do you celebrate xmas?

if you so you are a fucking hypocrite

Hopstheduck · 02/11/2011 09:20

I feel the same way and I refuse to support it. Our kids attend a cofe school though so I wouldn't get very far with complaining neither.

I did email a blogger once who was sponsoring a child in India through a charity which aimied to convert children to Christianity. Her reply was that she was a Christian and so she thought anything that created more Christians was a wonderful thing. It horrified me. I'm sure these evangelists wouldn't feel the same way if it was their children being persuaded to drop their beliefs.

I think if these charities truly wanted to do something Christian they would distribute gifts with respect for different beliefs.

ShowOfHands · 02/11/2011 09:21

As the daughter of a very devout Orthodox Christian, having had a Christian upbringing and having a child at a church school, am I allowed to say I am utterly against these shoeboxes? They aren't giving out a Christian message, they don't provide those children with anything they actually need, if indeed they end up going to the children you think they're going to in the first place.

We do a lot for charity all year round, more so at Christmas. This year we're supporting two local hospices and in many ways, giving gifts and a lot of our time. I am not against teaching dd to think of others, it's something we actively encourage.

And all the 'don't celebrate Christmas then' MNers would do well to remember it's not a Christian festival at all.

Hopstheduck · 02/11/2011 09:21

Porcha there is a bit of a difference between celebrating it oneself and not wanting to risk imposing it on other cultures.

AnonWasAWoman · 02/11/2011 09:21

It's a bit rich to call charity carried out in late December 'Christian'. A celebration at this time of the year is only Christian if you are Christian or live in a Christian country. Otherwise, you're probably wondering why people celebrate a baby's birth three months before it happened.

TeaTowelQueen · 02/11/2011 09:23

I agree with the OP and Fluffy here - YANBU.

I think it is the stealth aspect and the lack of openness in the operation that is the crux of the problem.

I strongly believe that charity begins at home so supporting a local children's charity/refuge would be far more appropriate.

BUT if you have a problem with what your school is doing, come up with an alternative, don't just sit there carping, thanks for all the alternatives people have suggested, this is really useful.

startwig1982 · 02/11/2011 09:23

But Christmas is a Christian festival.... Confused

ShowOfHands · 02/11/2011 09:24

No to easter eggs and hot cross buns btw and as I said Christmas isn't a Christian festival.

Am I allowed an opinion now?

You seem to be missing the point. It's not anti-Christianity to not like these shoeboxes or anti making your child aware of others in more need than them. It's anti nasty organisations, built upon hateful principles being allowed to use people's better natures to 'bribe' people into beliefs which are not their own. Not v Christian at all.

Floggingmolly · 02/11/2011 09:25

Knickerstoit Couldn't have said it better myself.

fluffythevampirestabber · 02/11/2011 09:26

Barnowl - just to take issue with one thing. An evangelical christian booklet is not added to every box, that is true. They got stick for putting it in every box so they now hand it to every child on top of the box.

ShowOfHands · 02/11/2011 09:26

Christmas isn't Christian. Not if you do it properly.

My Dad's a v devout Christian as I said and even he acknowledges it's not a Christian festival.

AnonWasAWoman · 02/11/2011 09:26

start - yes, but it's a bit daft to expect a child in a non-Christian culture to know that the reason she or he is getting presents in December is because we nabbed the date of a pagan Yule festival ... I mean, come on! There's no pressing need to say 'it is Christmas and you must learn all about it before I will give you a gift', surely?

ZZZenAgain · 02/11/2011 09:26

why include evangelical literature. You could have a why we give at Christmas message I suppose. But look, if you are sayChrsitian or nominally Christian but not practising and a box arrives for your dc at school from let's say a Muslim organisation in Riad with little gifts and an evangelising leaflet on Islam geared at dc, would you like that?

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 02/11/2011 09:27

I had Samaritans purse stopped at DDs Swiss school. It really annoyed me that there was a refugee holding centre 5miles away which desperately needed stuff yet boxes were being sent 100s or 1000s of miles away needlessly.
This year, DDs school is collecting for the womens refuge I think. Much more sensible IMO.

welliesandpyjamas · 02/11/2011 09:28

barnowl they may say that they don't put literature in the boxes but how do you know that is true? The boxes my son and his school friends received (yes, that was me, fourandahalfkids) contained fliers and Christmas materials. Most of the children in that school were Muslim (not to mention seriously well off and confused about receiving boxes of stuff they could buy easily themselves locally).

startwig1982 · 02/11/2011 09:29

Not if you do it properly??Confused what on earth does that mean?

fluffythevampirestabber · 02/11/2011 09:29

BTW from Samaritans Purse directly

"The Gospel is also presented locally as part of the distribution of the gifts, and wherever possible, children are offered a Gospel storybook written in their own language called The Greatest Gift of All. Many children are also invited to enroll in a 10-lesson follow-up Bible study program, and upon completion receive a New Testament as a graduation gift."

And the booklet comes complete with a sinners prayer and a pledge card.

gastrognome · 02/11/2011 09:29

Thanks barnowl, that was informative.

The information we received from the school about the project did imply that it was a Christian organisation. I'm OK with that.

It didn't make it clear that literature would be added to the boxes. I found that out because I researched the organisation online, as I'd heard a few stories about these schemes and wanted to make sure I agreed with the way they distributed the boxes.

But perhaps I was misinformed.

I will continue to look for more info about the organisation (we're in Belgium so all the info I've found is in Dutch - which I don't speak!)

OP posts:
welliesandpyjamas · 02/11/2011 09:29

Sounds much better, rips.

StewieGriffinsMom · 02/11/2011 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

porcamiseria · 02/11/2011 09:30

a brochure (if they use one anyway) is hardly "imposing it" I am a christian and the message we get is its about giving a gift to a kid that would not get one. And the video we saw at church showed them (in orphanages of such like) opening their gifts and being delighted). there was nothing about spreading religion.

I have no idea how people have got the idea its a tool for evangelism

MmeLindor. · 02/11/2011 09:30

Putting aside the Christmas message - which is imo not acceptable if you are distributing these boxes to Muslim children - how do you explain that the children of a MNetter who lives in Bosnia received a box from this charity?

That very much calls into question how these boxes are being distributed.

Added to that, I agree with Himalaya. Raise money for disadvantaged children and buy things in the country where they live. Pay for schools, text books, clean water.

Anyone know how much money the distribution of these boxes costs?

Chandon · 02/11/2011 09:32

ananwasawoman, it's not "old tat" though. It all ahs to be new with tags and CE label (!), that's just an aside though.

I am not religious, and my children go to a non religious school(that DOES however celebrate Christmas, so not completely non-religious I guess).

My DS (6) had been to assembly and been told about this scheme. As he is the sort of child who is very sensitive about other people, he wanted to do 2 boxes (a boy and a girl one). We went out especially to buy stuff.

I have some reservations though, such as:

  • the fact that your box doesn't stay intact but that things are added/taken away
-the fact they add leaflets which I have not seen -the fact that this organisation uses our time and money and effort to sell THEIR propaganda
  • the fact that they came into school and "brainwashed" a load of 6 year olds (easy to do)
  • the fact that on top of what you spend you also have to give money to "track your box", even though with the reshuffling it is no longer what you put inConfused

However, I think it's also a good scheme as:-

  • it teaches children to think about someone else, and the pleasure of giving rather than getting (this was lovely to witness in both DCs on our shoe-box shopping trip)
  • it is a tangible way to give. It's easier to donate cash, but you know that cash may end up being used for weapons (corrupt governments demand their cut) or end up in Charity Manager's pockets (they can get really high salaries).
  • There is some beauty in the simplicity of a box full of toys going from your hands to a child who would be very pleased to get it. And I think that's why it's such a huge success.

We used to do a big box for Poland every year when we were little (my parents have Polish friends) and I remember the joy of finding things to put in. We put the box in our living room and it filled up slowly with soap, chocolate, clothes and toys. We KNEW that the Polish Customs would take their pick and hand only part of what we sent to the recipients, at the time we thought it was still worth the effort, even if they only got a quarter of it. They knew we were thinking about them.

I guess it's a bit like that, so we do do the boxes. Smile