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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed that some mumsnetters think dogs should be perfect all the time

331 replies

lesley33 · 01/11/2011 21:50

I try and be a responsible dog owner. I call my dog back if he is near anyone who looks uncomfortable with him, I move him over to the side of the path to let joggers by and clear up dog mess.

But some posters on here seem to think that dogs should alwa\ys be perfectly behaved, never run up to strangers and never bark at people.

Dogs are not robots. However much you train them no dog will always behave 100% perfectly all the time. Some dogs are harder to train. For example, dogs that are really really dim or dogs that have a very nervy and neurotic personality.

We all accept that DCs will not always behave in public. I think most dogs generally behave well most of the time - but it is unrealistic to expect them never to misbehave. So AIBU?

OP posts:
DooinMeCleanin · 02/11/2011 14:46

Some people should be on leads in all areas. Yes, moody woman with the pram who tried to mow down my four year old because my greyhound did not automatically jump out of your way (she couldn't as she was on a short leash owing to the small yapping dog in front of us), I am talking about you.

The correct procedure is to say "Excuse me" to me and thus alerting me to your presence and allowing me to move both myself and my dog out of your way. I might tell my children I have eyes in the back of my head, sadly, it doesn't make it true.

DogsBestFriend · 02/11/2011 14:47

Dog bites - far less common than the hysterical press would have you believe. Far less common than RTAs or human upon human physical abuse.

Licked or jumped at - unacceptable but hardly the end of the flaming world!

Conclusion - gross overreaction to a very minor risk.

catgirl1976 · 02/11/2011 14:48

I do get your analogy cheese and I totally agree with you that dog owners should watch their dogs, call them back when there is a child, clean up after them and should their dog not come back / jump up at someone they should apologise.

All I am saying is that if you take your children to areas where dogs are exercised off the lead then dogs might approach them.

If you take them to areas where dogs are not allowed off the lead that should never happen (and if it does is completley out of order and should be reported).

DooinMeCleanin · 02/11/2011 14:52

I appreciate you acknowledging my 'empathy' and sympathy towards your boy MrsHeffly after you made such a fuss of me missing your post Smile

I do sincerely hope your child recovers from his fear of dogs enough to lead a normal life.

NormanTebbit · 02/11/2011 14:53

I don't think you can compare a child with a dog.

ElaineReese · 02/11/2011 14:55

but... but.... surely his fear of dogs is both perfectly understandable and not the issue here! You're making it sound as though it was his fear that got him bitten! I know you're being passive agressive on purpose, but that's a bit of a harsh attitude to have towards a hurt child!

CalamityKate · 02/11/2011 14:55

Absolutely agree that the dogs of "hoodies" and "yobs" are often better trained, more thoroughly socialised and more frequently exercised than those belonging to "nicer" people.

You see loads round here. Mostly Staffies in studded collars/harnesses. Often offlead regardless of whether they're on the pavement or on a field. Now I don't approve of dogs offlead on pavements AT ALL - but it has to be said that they are generally walking beautifully to heel, attentive to their owner and ignoring EVERYTHING around them.

I think there's a lot of rubbish spouted about "status" dogs. Yes, they are often the dog of choice of people who could be described as dodgy characters. But I'd far rather take my chances with a Staffie called Mauler, who's been socialised to the hilt since puppyhood, than a fluffball called Twinkle who's been babied and never goes out.

And as for so-called attack dogs - I've never quite worked out whether that's a real problem or not, despite hysterical newspaper headlines. I saw a documentary a while back on the subject and although it seemed to be trying to scaremonger, there wasn't an actual attack dog in sight. Apart from anything else, it's bloody difficult to train a dog to attack reliably on command!

Sorry, bit OT there...

TheScaryJessie · 02/11/2011 14:57

NormanTebbit

That's very true- they take totally different sizes of overcoat, don't they.

MrsHeffley · 02/11/2011 14:59

My child is leading a normal life thanksHmm.

Re dog bites not being that common. Totally the opposite of what we were told at A&E and also what it says on NHS direct.There were over 6000 reported dog bites last year,many more don't even get reported or treatment in hospital and half of all children will be bitten at some point during their childhood.Sad

TeWihara · 02/11/2011 14:59

Friend and I commiserating the other day that dogs training tricks are much less reliable on small children!

Can't use cheese to get children walking nicely to heel to start with...

DooinMeCleanin · 02/11/2011 15:00

I never said his fear got him bitten Confused. I had assumed his fear was caused by the biting incident. Do you enjoy twisting my posts Elaine? you're very good at it Smile

MrsHeffley · 02/11/2011 15:02

Basically for gods sake don't get hoodwinked into the "he's alright he won't bite"nonsense like I did. I've always made my kids steer well away from unknown dogs,this was a neighbours dog he just walked past.

They can bite,they do and if you have 2 kids in all likelihood one will get bitten at some point during their childhood.

DooinMeCleanin · 02/11/2011 15:05

Myself nor either of my two sisters have ever been bitten despite having been raised with dogs and often walked in areas where there have been lots of dogs.

My GSD nipped my friend's bottom once, but it was a game. Does that count? That is the only bite incident I know of.

ElaineReese · 02/11/2011 15:08

There are all manner of unpleasant things which have never happened to me - it doesn't mean I doubt they happen much, or would ever belittle someone else's bad experience of them!

MrsHeffley · 02/11/2011 15:13

Hmmmm my son was bitten on his bottom,it wasn't a game to him and thankfully he was 7 and not 3 otherwise the scar would be on his face instead of his bottom.

DogsBestFriend · 02/11/2011 15:18

MrsHeffly - a realistic look at those stats.

A "bite" will be registered by the NHS for anything from a full blown attack to a NIP. There isn't a tick box for "accidentally caught by dogs teeth whilst owner was offering small piece of ham". They all go under the category "bite"... which adds to the hype, bull and hysteria.

6000 assorted dog bites and nips last year. Not good. BUT... in comparison to HOW many dogs in the country?

In comparison to HOW many assaults of one kind or another by humans (upon humans OR upon dogs)?

Perspective is needed here.

And don't even get me started about the problems caused by shitty parents who don't supervise their kids and their dogs together or who allow their kids to climb all over the dog, pull his ears and so on... Angry

My children, teenagers now, often handle (literally) scores of dogs a day. They have done so for about 5 or 6 years now as well as living with our own dogs all their lives. They know how to behave with them, they are brought up to be respectful of them so they are unlikely to contribute to that NHS list of nips of bites. Most nips and bites upon DC occur in the home as a result of lack of supervision and shitty parenting, not as a result of walking in the same woods as dog owners.

whathellcall · 02/11/2011 15:20

Agree with Math. Where she lived in the US had it right, all dogs on a leash, with the exception of specific dog parks.

mathanxiety · 02/11/2011 15:25

The response that people who complain about dog behaviour are grossly overreacting and the comparison with people committing crimes reveal much of what is basically wrong with the attitude of some dog owners. And the idea that nipping a bottom was a game is all right and mighty fine, your prerogative and all that to see it that way, but the owner of the nipped bottom might see it differently and that is her prerogative too.

Having farming relatives I have to say it really bothers me to think of dogs being allowed to roam free in the countryside and it would make my mum shudder. My grandfather had sheep on the farm and my mother saw with her own eyes the handiwork of people's 'harmless' pets on lambs from time to time. When it comes to dogs, even the best-trained cannot be trusted when off the lead, is my mother's motto.

DogsBestFriend · 02/11/2011 15:34

So I point out the bleeding obvious facts about dog bites and how they are recorded and point out too that they lead to misunderstanding and hype, and because of this I have the "wrong attitude"? Hmm

Nah, I'll leave it there before start to point and laugh and just thank god that the demographic of MN does not represent a normal cross-section of society.

mathanxiety · 02/11/2011 15:45

I don't know how the behaviour of an animal (not a child but an animal) that a person has chosen freely to take responsibility for in fact many animals if the NHS stats are to be believed, and many people responsible can be dismissed so blithely by you.

Bear in mind that the NHS figures are for those who sought medical treatment for a bite or a nip and that they are therefore the tip of the iceberg. The figures for encounters with dogs resulting in bites or nips are probably much higher. It's not misunderstanding and hype. It's denial on your part to insist dogs and dog owners are right and everyone else is wrong.

Children can be taught to restrain themselves around others, and their sense of empathy can be developed or appealed to. A dog has only his instincts to guide him. Therefore the constant attention of the owner is necessary when the owner knows there is a possibility of encounters with people, especially children, whose behaviour can be unpredictable.

flatbread · 02/11/2011 15:52

Cheeseandmarmitesandwich, your username is making me hungry. You and a cup coffee, delicious :)

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 02/11/2011 15:52

Surely if it is in the NHS stats then the person has sought medical treatment... Hardly likely to be a 'nip' in that case, is it? Hmm

I don't get why you so-called responsible dog owners are defending dogs that nip or bite!

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 02/11/2011 15:52

Surely if it is in the NHS stats then the person has sought medical treatment... Hardly likely to be a 'nip' in that case, is it? Hmm

I don't get why you so-called responsible dog owners are defending dogs that nip or bite!

DogsBestFriend · 02/11/2011 16:03

Cheese, yes it's entirely possible, particularly by those who are looking for an opportunity to sue for compensation or over-anxious patients or parents. The same goes for ANY injury - I defy you to tell me that there are not a considerable number of cases where a patient attends A&E although the injury does not call for hospital attention.

DooinMeCleanin · 02/11/2011 16:03

19,569 children aged 0 - 15 were injured in traffic accidents in 2010, of those 2,502 resulted in death or severe injury Sad.

Keep those cars on leads in public, for godsake, they're not safe.

If you must exercise them then leash them up and walk them to sepcial car exercise areas.

Alternatively, operate some common sense and realise that whilst the figures look shocking the chances of you being killed by a car are still RARE.