Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH and airmiles

40 replies

witchyhills · 01/11/2011 11:39

DH flies a lot for work
Has hundreds of thousands of airmiles, and uses them for upgrades or personal flights for him or his mother
He has never used them to upgrade me or DS.
He got given 40,000 airmiles(complaint about flight we took together, and I wrote the letter) and they have gone into my account. I have a family account
I thought it would be nice if my family could use them. A free flight for them would be a real treat. He goes anywhere whenever he wants.

He actually pulled a face, and said " we should use them on me?"

Am I being so unreasonable to suggest they get a free flight to Spain?

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 01/11/2011 11:40

Of course yanbu. He is being an arse.

Annanymous · 01/11/2011 11:40

He sounds like an arse. Does he have some nice attributes?

ColdToast · 01/11/2011 11:42

YANBU.

You made the effort and wrote the letter of complaint.

His family has had the benefit of what he obviously considers to be his airmiles. Your family should get the benefit of these ones.

Alternatively, offer to book him a one-way ticket to somewhere a long way away for his selfishness.

LunarRose · 01/11/2011 11:43

eww nasty! YANBU

EvilElizabethPonsonby · 01/11/2011 11:44

YANBU a friend of mine saved up his business air miles and took his DW and baby dd to the far east, first class no less. He did say it was quite amusing to the see the faces of the other first class passengers when they got on with a baby Grin

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/11/2011 11:53

What a selfish arse he is! Ask on what basis they should be spent on him!

Original poster
witchyhills · 01/11/2011 11:57

he did badger me to write the letter, and I worded it, but he sent it to them, cos obviously he's got a bit more clout with the airline, being a emerald member or something.

I'm getting a bit annoyed with his sense of entitlement, he seems to think the world revolves around him

OP posts:
Bathsheba · 01/11/2011 12:00

Does his work pay for his flights? Is there not some sort of grey area in that case as to who ANY of these "miles" belong to.

I remember in the 80s when petrol stations started giving out those tokens (you know the ones where you needed 10,000 for a video) and there were businesses insisting that any tokens which were received by their drivers belonged to the company rather than the driver as it was them who were paying for the fuel.

If he does have a right to use these miles, then yep, he is still being an idiot that you don;t ever get the benefit of them.

StealthPenguin · 01/11/2011 12:02

What a selfish twunt. Tell him that, unless he wants to be kicked so hard in the arse that he ends up in Spain, he should treat his children for once instead of himself. Children should always come first.

Original poster
witchyhills · 01/11/2011 12:08

it's one of the perks of his job, the airmiles
yes he gets to spend them
but there is still an awful lot of personal travel too.
he has had about 4 trips to Aus/NZ this year. His mum is in Aus and has been a bit poorly and he went to the rugby world cup final

these particular airmiles were the result of a complaint about a personal flight that we went on together

my family account includes my sis, who gave us her 30,000 miles earlier this year, so I could upgrade a flight with them.

It's really just the gesture.
He has a lot of miles and will continue to earn them.
It would be a nice gesture if he "let" my family use this small amount. (small to him)

I'm trying to figure out if he is inately selfish or whether he is being a bit unthinking

OP posts:
ChaoticAngel · 01/11/2011 12:11

He's being extremely selfish, twunt.

Bathsheba · 01/11/2011 12:15

You enable him to have his lifestyle.

In that, he can fly off around the world because you stay at home.

In a divorce settlement, would they be divided between the 2 of you as, although her has earned them they couldn;t have been earned without you.

Original poster
witchyhills · 01/11/2011 12:18

that's very interesting Bathsheba

I do know someone who got all of her DH's airmiles in a divorce settlement, but that was in the US, and it was quite amicable

OP posts:
clam · 01/11/2011 12:24

Well, he's not being unthinking, because you have pointed it out to him and he's stil maintaining that they're "mine, all mine, not going to share."
Is he like this in other areas?

Annanymous · 01/11/2011 13:26

My lovely DH flies business class for work and accumulates lots of airmiles. When I travel home (from Asia) on holiday without him he upgrades me to business with his miles as a treat. Isn't that what loving someone is all about?

dawntigga · 01/11/2011 13:36

Is he like this with other things?

Wouldn'tHaveThisKindOfFuckwitteryTiggaxx

Original poster
witchyhills · 01/11/2011 14:23

funny how one seemingly incidental thing can make you see the bigger things

OP posts:
mrsbacchus · 01/11/2011 14:34

My DH uses his air miles to fly me to join him for long weekends wherever he is at the end of a business trip. That way we both get to benefit by having a cheapish hol. I agree with Annanymous, thats part of loving and sharing.

clam · 01/11/2011 15:07

Would he give you his last Rolo?

Original poster
witchyhills · 01/11/2011 15:56

sadly I think not clam.
My family would give you the shirt off their back

OP posts:
Avantia · 01/11/2011 16:01

MY DH collects air miles but because he is in public sector e is not allowed to use them as they do not belong to him , so we sit and wait until he retires then we'll see ....

Original poster
witchyhills · 02/11/2011 07:45

The more I think about this the more he is annoying me.
Last night he was working out points for hotel rooms, admittedly so we could have a free night somewhere, but he seems obsessed by what he can get for nothing
He has also brought back soaps from hotel rooms and excitedly told me I can give them out as presents. They were lovely bulgari soaps, but still?!

OP posts:
Pedallleur · 02/11/2011 09:06

Bulgari soaps imply that the hotels he stays in are quite high class so poss. he gets upgrades as well in those. As has been pointed out, if the airmiles aren't given back to work then they are yours (ie both of you) unless he wishes to argue differently

jkklpu · 02/11/2011 09:12

@Avantia - It's because they're a taxable benefit so pubic sector people can't use them. But it woudl make much more sense if govt depts could work out how to bank them and use them for employees' official trips rather than them just sitting uselessly on accounts for years.

OurPlanetNeptune · 02/11/2011 09:40

Sorry witchyhills but you husband sounds awful. I loathe people like this. My husband travels a lot, accumulates a lot of airmiles and only ever spends them on me and our boys. He does it voluntarily, I've never had to ask. As a few others have said here, this is what people who love you do.

I would be ashamed if any of my sons grew up to to be as selfish as you DH sound.

Swipe left for the next trending thread