about my mum ignoring my feelings on this?

[Bogeymanface]

I am not sure tbh!

I am a radical Nestle boycotter, so not just Nestle brand but any brand connected with them. I dont expect my parents to follow it too, although they dont buy Nescrape coffee anymore.

But, on a Sunday they take the kids out for an hour and always buy them a bar of chocolate or bag of sweets on their way home and always ALWAYS there is atleast one and usually 2 Nestle products amongst them. The kids know that we dont have that brand (and why) and according to DD mum and dad pick the sweets and then share them out.

I dont ask them to follow the boycott but surely they should respect my request to not give them to the children? Mum usually just shrugs, smirks and says "Oh well you didnt buy them so it doesnt count does it?" Well yes, I tbink it does actually! I do sometimes wonder if it deliberate because I know she thinks that the boycott wont change anything. She only stopped buying Nescrape because her church started supporting the boycott.

It isnt like there arent plenty of other choices of chocolate is there?!

The kids are aged between 14 and 6.

So what of my idea of saying I will get the chocolate for them and they can have them when they get back rather than calling at the shop? She has moaned about it a few times (she doesnt like the shop owner, although why has never been established!) so she may well go for it. i wont mention why I am suggesting it.

That way I am not making an issue of it, I am not having a go and the kids still get their treat.

Huggly, my mum is 60. And sweets isnt what she thinks its all about, it was something they started when my eldest (now 20!) was about 6 and then did it with him and dd as she got older, and then so on with the rest (I have 6). If anything, I am sure she would happily get rid of the sweets altogether, she has become a health freak since my dad had a bit of high blood pressure!

They get one lot of sweets a week, and it just happens to be on that day. The stop at the shop has become part of the trip to the park. They spend lots of time with them, 99% of the time with me present, so this is a relatively small issue but one that does matter to me.

Well if they're 14 and 6 they are old enough to know you've banned them from eating these products...so you can't really blame it all on your Mum.

Obviously the 14yr old doesn't agree with the ban and perhaps the 6yr old gets a bit confused about what products are actually made by Nestle.

None the less, at 14yrs of age your child can understand and doesn't have to eat them.

i think its lovely that your parents get to take their grandchildren out for the day.

Just thought this was a grandparent thing. You know the kind of thing when baby sitting bed time is 9.00 you know full well it will be more like 10.00. Don't let them have sweets they have not had their dinner yet, Well I only gave them 1 bag. They don't need money, go on treat your self.
It's what they do laugh at it or stress your self about it, it won't change.

If 14 accepts them that's her choice, and 6 will follow what 14 and grandmother seem to expect. You will have to live with this or end the contact altogether which would be seriously OTT.

My DS was born before the end of apartheid. If my MIL, who is apolitical, had bought him an Outspan orange when they were banned from my home, I would have pretended not to notice.

Can I ask again?

So what of my idea of saying I will get the chocolate for them and they can have them when they get back rather than calling at the shop? She has moaned about it a few times (she doesnt like the shop owner, although why has never been established!) so she may well go for it. i wont mention why I am suggesting it.

That way I am not making an issue of it, I am not having a go and the kids still get their treat.

Worra, funnily enough the Nestle sweets only seem to end up with the 2 youngest ones. The 14 and 10 year olds get Cadbury, and that I am sure, is because they have both said something to mum about it. The ten year old I know for certain will not touch anything Nestle.

Good idea bogeymanface. Seems reasonable all round and your kids (did I really read up there that you have SIX CHILDREN!! well done) will not be caught in any cross-fire. Respect to you for having the courage of your convictions. I am far too lazy for causes and morals.

I try not to buy air-freighted fruit (eg USA strawbs in winter), and my kids understand that we eat British fruit in season, or sea-freighted stuff (oranges). I am not manic about this.

MIL loves to take them to buy highly overpriced, usually fairly tasteless, over-chilled fruit, and when they comment that "mummy doesnt buy this cos its not in season/British", she replies "oh I agree with her, but this is different, it's from M&S"

I should apply to see if they'll have her doing an ad for them!

OP, YANBU to expect your mum to abide by your wishes as regards your children. But I guess that if your relationship with her is already a little strained, then she will take all the ammunition she can in winding you up. I would go for the buying your own choc, as you suggest. (maybe some really luscious stuff like Divine, and suggest she tries a bit to see what she's been missing!)

I can see why it winds you up as it's the kind of thing my mum does, but I would lean towards the 'pick your battles' approach tbh and try not to make too big an issue of it. If you can skirt round it by buying the chocs instead fair enough.

However, at 14 I think you probably should be arming your eldest with the required info and letting them make their own decisions (although I appreciate it could be tricky to put this into practice with younger DC's to consider).

Just read your post above that I'd missed and looks like you've got that covered already !

Can I just ask something as I clicked on the link you provided but didn;t seem to make any reference to this...

I can see the point that BF is ideal and particularly in areas where water is not so clean a much better option if possible, but surely there is the argument that many of the places concerned have a severe shortage of/poor quality food and therefore these mothers would struggle to get the nutrition/calories necessary to BF and have to rely on FF to some extent?

Dum

I see what you are saying but there are two major issues with that. Firstly, FF in an area with unclean water and no means of purifying it means that the baby is very very likely to contract, at best, dysentery. Most babies will die from this. Secondly, baby milk isnt free, it must be paid for. Poor families will (and do) try to make the milk last, so they may miss a scoop or two per feed which means that not only is the baby getting dirty water as part of its daily feeds, it isnt getting the nutrition it needs. Nestle dont do it anymore, but there was a time when they would give away free tins of milk to mothers (given by sales people dressed as health professionals) until their milk dried up. Then they were made to pay. What does that sound like?

Look up babies contracting HIV/AIDS versus babies dying from unsafe FF and the statistics will make you cry.

Mother Nature makes sure that the baby gets what it needs first and the mother comes second. So BF for as long as possible is the only way to try and make sure these babies live.

And I say this as a FF from birth (although admittedly not by choice) with 5 out of my 6 children.

This photo made me sign up to the boycott. Those babies are TWINS. :(

YANBU. She is undermining you to your children. I am all for GPs spoiling/treating/indulging their GC, but when there are principles or health involved, no.

I would be annoyed as well. Your mother can eat what she likes, but you have requested she doesn't give any of those products to your children, and she does.
I wonder why she does it? There are many treats to choose from other than Nestle.

Can you drill it into your childrens heads, even the 6 year old, to refuse to have Nestle products? 6 is old enough to know if something is made by "bad people".

I think it's a bit controlling of you, OP. Sorry. I boycott Nestle too.

Your mother should respect your beliefs - she is being so disrespectful

For all those saying you are controlling, really? Op has a belief, why shouldn't it be respected?

As for troisgorns post - nasty and pointless