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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To bloody hate when people without phobias tell me how to deal with mine?!

52 replies

Kayano · 30/10/2011 17:39

I am TERRIFIED of needles... It is a full on phobia that I have had all my life.

So much that I saw a psychologist before getting pregnant and still see them now along with a hypnotherapist.

This has been helpful and I am over the moon now I am pregnant to have been able to have my blood taken. Granted with much hysteria and DH always needing to be there but still...

But i bloody HATE all the people who say 'well I don't like needles but just look away' or 'it's nothing really just shut your eyes' or other such crap.

I know it's an irrational phobia but that is the nature of a phobia. A 'dislike' or 'slight fear' of something in not the same.

ARGH rant over.

OP posts:
happydotcom · 30/10/2011 20:08

YANBU.
But congrats on being able to have your blood taken ( and your pregnancy!).
I can relate to the panic etc. I have a terrible phobia of swimming pool drains and my DS is nearly 5 months old and never been swimming with me, DH has to take him while I can't even look at a pool incase I see a drain and I won't be able to stop thinking about it!

< cringe in shame>

BlondeBatgirl · 30/10/2011 20:09

iklboo thats awful!! I had a similar thing happen at school, as soon as my so called friends discoverd my phobia of cotton wool, they filled my locker with the stuff and then laughed thier heads off when screaming and shaking!
Some people are just bastards!!

Kayano · 30/10/2011 20:10

It's not the pain I am scared of so the cream probs wouldn't make a difference. I am terrified of the needle breaking, or hitting bone, or not finding a vein... It's horrific!

The needle breaking thing came about when my (understanding Hmm ) mother tried to hold me down for a needle and the nurse said 'you must not move or flinch because the needle will break and be imbedded in your arm forever'

'!!!!! She KNEW I had a phobia too! Eee it was awful. I never had it and proper threatened to break her arm... I was 12/13

Needless to say I am not vaccinated against meningitis lol

OP posts:
Kayano · 30/10/2011 20:12

Jumping. I approached my GP who referred me for psychotherapy and that behaviour therapy? Can't remember the name...

The hypno therapy is so far good and relaxing but only had about 2 sessions. Going tomorrow to that. I ha to get referred to that from the maternity unit though Grin

OP posts:
Faffalina · 30/10/2011 20:12

I have a phobia that is too embarrassing to type out, but yes, I had endless "advice" along the lines of "that will never happen", "just breathe", etc. Urgh!

I had hypnotherapy, which was useful, but I find my phobia comes back :-(

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 30/10/2011 20:13

Oh God I hate this!!
I am suffering with ptsd at the moment, and when people suggest that I "just" do this that or the other, obviously have NO understanding that I CANT it isn't that i don't want to more that my mind is making my body physically incapable!

Well done for getting your bloods done, and Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

BeerTricksPotter · 30/10/2011 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jenfraggle · 30/10/2011 20:24

I am the same as you. As I am so scared of the needle I can't help but tense up, it hurts. This just reinforces in my mind that it's a bad thing. I've lost count of the times people have told me that they don't feel a thing. Try tensing your arm as hard as you can and then tell me it doesn't hurt.

When I had my booking appointment I told the m/w about it. She took me in to do it on a bed so that I could lie down. 2 hours and 1 panic attack later I am able to stand up again. My notes now have must lie down for blood tests due to panic attack written on them in big writing :)

piedpiper4 · 30/10/2011 20:34

I have a really unique phobia which has now taken hold of so strongly that it is impacting my daily life. Although logically I know that it is stupid, the anxiety is much stronger than the logic, and when I'm faced with the situation I am petrified.

I am now having CBT, which I'm finding useful in terms of understanding why the phobia developed. I have made some progress with the phobia itself- but it only takes one small thing and I am petrified again - right now I don't know if I'll ever be strong enough to beat it. I just can't imagine the fear releasing its hold enough for me to beat it-if that makes sense? Still early days, but I really hope I can beat it.

Good luck OP and congrats on the pregnancy.

mummakaz · 30/10/2011 20:35

yanbu, I get told 'to look away too' yep it's really that simpleHmm

I have a phobia of needles too,I don't actually know the reason why I'm scared of them Confused. I feel sick, shake, sweat, get hot flushes and feel like I'm going to pass out. I don't sleep the week before I know I am going to have a needle. Had my fillings done without one Grin

I actually cried when I last had an injection, I felt like a right dick Blush

voddiekeepsmesane · 30/10/2011 20:36

I have a phobia of spiders but am very anxious when it come to needles as well. YANBU OP it is sooo annoying when people trvialise your phobia. I can tell myself a hundred times that I know spiders won't hurt me but when I see one well...

gigglepin · 30/10/2011 20:40

My phobia is dogs, all shapes & sizes, i litterally want to vomit on the spot when i see one. I will cross the road and not look at it if its on the street...

Then people say "ahhh he jsut wants to say hello" or "ahh hes dead soft, wouldtn hurt a fly".
Friends just dont get it when i say no to visiting their house when they own one.
I havent been to my pil house for 5 years since they got one.
People...especially dog owners/lovers just DO.NOT.GET.IT.

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 30/10/2011 20:45

I have social phobia. One psychiatrist who "treated" me suggested I go to a local bar by myself, and I'd "soon make some friends." Hmm

GalaxyWeaver · 30/10/2011 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Brynn · 30/10/2011 21:00

YANBU. How many arachnaphobes have heard this one countless times: "It's more scared of you than you are of it!"

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 30/10/2011 21:03

Brynn, I don't have a phobia of spiders but my response when dh says that to me when I have jumped on the sofa because of a spider running round the room is "It doesn't look bloody scared I'm the one hiding from it!!"

frutilla · 30/10/2011 21:08

Poor you. I don't have the phobia, but still get nauseous and dizzy when blood is taken and can't give blood as would def faint. Well done for managing to have your blood taken, ignore those who make light of what a struggle it is for you.

Williamsmum02 · 30/10/2011 21:12

I'm intrigued by the 'unique' phobias.... remember seeing a programme about a woman with a phobia of buttons, it was fascinating. By the end of it she was trying coats on in John Lewis that had massive buttons and coping with it. I think it was Paul McKenna.

Well done OP - I don't have any phobias but I hate wasps and get panicky if one comes near me or my kids - but I don't get the 'I'm going to die' panic or feel like vomiting etc, so I'm guessing it's not really a phobia.

leelo · 30/10/2011 21:19

i have odd phobias. i hate,ketchup,baked beans and bananas. but all are liked by my family so i've had to face them on a regular basis. but my dh is weird too he is terrified of glitter,especially the kind on xmas cards. so we balance each other out.

VirgoGrr · 30/10/2011 21:30

I'm not a delicate flower generally, but it makes me cringe to total up the things that make me sweat and faint phobia wise.

I have a general fear of hospitals and anything medical, have been to the dentist once in 15 years and am currently trying to force myself in for a check up. I know I need a filling replacing and the only thing that might actually make me go is the thought of having to have the tooth out.

I have always fainted after injections, it's just inevitable. Have never had blood taken while conscious. Have refused blood tests in hospital when i really should have had them.

Needed a minor op that could have been done in a clinic. Had a full on panic attack and crying with anxiety. Was sent home and referred to have it done under a GA. Had to be put out with gas like a child so that blood could be taken and a cannula put in for the procedure. I can sit in the chair, but when they come with the needle, I sweat, cry, feel faint, sick, hyperventilate.

I have put off pregnancy although i would like a child, because of the fears about labour, birth and even the thought of not being able to avoid hospital procedures and blood taking. I have joked before that if I was going to have a baby, I would probably run off and do it in the woods so no doctors could get near me.

This is all completely irrational and I totally understand how the panic grips you. I need help with my medical phobia because although I am in rude health, I worry that I will need emergency treatment at some point and will refuse it because I would rather die than let someone put a needle in me.

No one in my family or friends understands this.

Those that have had therapy, did you pay or get it on the NHS? If it was NHS, was it available only because you were already pregnant?

Sorry for that long rant, but I feel I'm amongst friends on this thread. Smile

Kayzr · 30/10/2011 21:39

I have a phobia of spiders. I'd have millions if I got £1 for every time someone said to me "Its more scared of you than you are of it". Then why is it in my bloody house!!!

YANBU at all. I don't like needles but I don't think it is a phobia as I can get past it by lying down and not looking at the needle. I do have a panic about it first.

Congratulations on you pregnancy.

Snoozypants · 30/10/2011 21:51

I can completely understand. I have had a needle phobia for as long as I can remember. I don't know if there is an actual cure, I just think you find better ways to cope with it over time. My biggest worry was always getting pregnant, as I'd worked myself up so much about all the blood tests-hardly thought about the actual birth part, that didn't bother me so much!
When I was expecting our first DC and had to go for my initial blood tests I worked myself up to the point of hysteria...laughing like a loon, shaking, ranting rubbish and the sweat was pouring off me.

I'm now expecting our third DC, and its only now, three pregnancies later-all will have been c sections, and I'm also rhesus negative so had to have anti D too, that I'm managing to cope. Through my previous two sections, I really struggled with the canula needle being put in my hand for the drip-that had to be my biggest fear. The spinal was also a major milestone, something I never imagined that I would ever be able to do. But when you are facing with an emergency section on the cards and you are begging for the pain to stop it does put the needle into perspective somewhat.

Believe me, I seriously don't enjoy the needles, I still work myself up-but I can do it. I take a deep breath and count through it and just try and concentrate on something on the opposite side of the room. It's not easy but I know that it is something that I simply have to go through with, for my baby's health and mine and that helps me deal with it.

I really hope you find your own way of coping OP, but please don't feel silly, you are NOT on your own...it's a very real fear Smile Wine

LittleMissFlustered · 30/10/2011 22:11

I have an irrational fear of flying, though I'm not sure it classes as a phobia. I was guilt tripped by an ex into flying short-haul for a group outing (if you don't come the rest of us can't go...) and I almost broke the fingers of my ex and a good friend on the twenty minute flight. I was sat bolt upright, shaking and in a cold sweat for the entire duration, so tense I ached for hours after. Never again.

You're not unreasonable, just perfectly aware of what your mind and body can handle. Well done on finding a way to achieve a little control over the phobia:)

DartsANDthefunkypumpkin · 30/10/2011 22:12

The clown phobia is, I'm told, surprisingly common. I'm afraid of spiders, but it's not a phobia. I've managed over the years to reach a point of "don't come near me and I won't stamp on you".

DS, aged 7, while on hols this year, had a tarantula crawl up his arm, and loved it [hconfused]. I sat down to try, but I could't go through with it, but maybe a couple of years.....

quietlyafraid · 30/10/2011 22:21

I have a fear of mental settings in general.

I end up completely unable to speak, end up in such a state I don't really know whats going on and can't even remember my own name. A couple of weeks ago I was at the dentist and COMPLETELY flipped out over it, when he asked my husband to leave the room. I made a mad dash for door and ended up in complete hysterics. No real reason for any of it. Dentist had never seen anyone so scared in 20 years... he made me come back two weeks later first thing in the morning so I didn't have time to work myself up (didn't exactly work - still shaking like a leaf throughout).

Its a problem...

But then how do you get it fixed when the very thing you are afraid of is the thing that might be able to fix you? The thought of going to the doc or to councillors aren't exactly easy or helpful. If you can't even remember your own name or speak...

Its not something people are very understanding of though...

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