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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bloody hate when people without phobias tell me how to deal with mine?!

52 replies

Kayano · 30/10/2011 17:39

I am TERRIFIED of needles... It is a full on phobia that I have had all my life.

So much that I saw a psychologist before getting pregnant and still see them now along with a hypnotherapist.

This has been helpful and I am over the moon now I am pregnant to have been able to have my blood taken. Granted with much hysteria and DH always needing to be there but still...

But i bloody HATE all the people who say 'well I don't like needles but just look away' or 'it's nothing really just shut your eyes' or other such crap.

I know it's an irrational phobia but that is the nature of a phobia. A 'dislike' or 'slight fear' of something in not the same.

ARGH rant over.

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 30/10/2011 17:45

Wow that must be a difficult one to deal with and well done you for trying to get help and deal with it.

YANBU in getting cross at the useless "advice2 from other people. I have a phobia for moths and butterflies and have lost count of the number of times well-meaning people have said "Oh it's only a tiny one", or even worse, "It can't hurt you!" Of course it can't bloody hurt me I know that but it doesn't stop the irrational fear.

With age I have found I can cope with butterflies out of doors by looking away as I walk past. But if a moth gets in the house - that is a different story.

Anyway - hope you won't encounter the needsles too often. Good luck

mrsshears · 30/10/2011 17:47

I know completely where you are coming from.
I have a clown phobia which is treated as a joke by some people who know me,i get comments like "but its just someone dressed up" or "what do you think will happen" people just dont understand.
If i see a clown i start to feel sick,panicky and loose all sense of rational behaviour,i have screamed in public and made a run for it,had to leave plenty of events such as childrens parties and generally made myself look really silly,would i really do this if i could help it? i think not

Original poster
Kayano · 30/10/2011 17:48

Got a test coming up Sad I need the anti D injections. My dad is the biggest culprit! I just eat to strangle him! I never mention it in front of it now. It's so bad and I get so stressed out I am lucky that work also gives DH the time off to come with me.

It's when they say 'oh I don't like needles...' I just want to smack them lol

OP posts:
DogsBeastFiend · 30/10/2011 17:53

I know the type. They're the ones who say, "It's only a needle, it doesn't hurt".

Here's the solution. Give a kick in the shins to the next person who says these things.

And then smile as they writhe in agony and say, "Oh, but it's only a kick in the shins, it doesn't hurt."

I'm biased because I share your phobia and I can understand why I have it - needles hurt. I find it harder to understand phobias of, say, spiders because (in the UK) they don't hurt.

But, I suppose that's the point of a phobia, it's an irrational fear. Which makes our fear of needles not a phobia but a perfectly fecking rational emotion...

... and therefore makes those who don't fear needles sufferers of "no sense, no feeling" syndrome. :o

NB - My Dad is a fellow sufferer so at least I had sympathy there. I have also ONLY ever had a needle when it was ESSENTIAL to my life. I didn't have the pregnancy blood tests, the vitamin jabs and the whatevers.

Choconellie · 30/10/2011 17:55

Have you tried accupunture?

EmotionalMess2011 · 30/10/2011 18:09

Well done for getting them done op! Im in the exact same position as you! i finally had my first set of bloods taken at 36 weeks! luckily it turned out i dont need the anti D tho. The worst thing is when everyone tries to guilt you into having it done by saying shit like "just remember its for your baby, not for you" as if you dont feel guilty enough already! i realise these things do have to be done but that makes it absolutly no easier! IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE! Again congratulations!!! xx :) :) :) :)

Mishy1234 · 30/10/2011 18:15

I didn't have a phobia of needles, but I did get extremely worked up about them. That was bad enough, so you have my sympathy.

I'm now much better after ivf and 2 pregnancies, but it took a long time. You have been really brave op. you should feel proud of yourself and no, yanbu.

BelleEnd · 30/10/2011 18:15

I know what you mean. I know that thunder and lightning will probably cause me no harm. But the fear of them rules how I spend my summers.

I did find it (unexpectedly) useful) to read Derren Brown's book (trick of the mind I think it is)- He does some visualisation techniques which just takes my mind off it.

Massive congrats on getting your bloods taken. I know what a bigstep it must have been. :)

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 30/10/2011 18:18

I know how you feel.

My needle phobia was so bad that I would discharge myself from hospital rather than have a needle and I needed an operation but I couldn't have it. I would rather have died than had a needle. Actually, genuinely, rather have died. That was the choice I made.

In the end, I had CBT. Months and months of it.

I had my op.

Now, although I can't say I enjoy needles Grin I can cope with them. I don't cry, shake, sweat, run away (all things I used to do)

You can learn the techniques you need so that you can manage your fear.

People don't understand, ime. They do say things like "it doesn't really hurt"

well dur. I know that. I've had 2 ten and a half pound babies. You think I'm afraid of the pain of a bloody needle Hmm

They don't get it at all Grin

stripeybumpinthenight · 30/10/2011 18:21

YANBU at all.

I think people without phobias can't understand the leap between 'being a bit scared' of something and that thing causing absolute mental anguish and panic. Normal coping mechanisms will not work. Phobias all work in the same way and have similar effects on the body and mind, whether they are spiders or heights.

I had agoraphobia and PTSD when at music college, which made it impossible for months on end to perform, take part in rehearsals or even walk on a stage with my instrument without having a panic attack. People constantly gave me 'helpful tips' on combating performance nerves AngrySad

GraceWhoIsTired · 30/10/2011 18:40

YANBU. I have a fairly unusual fear, and I only tell other people if it is absolutely unavoidably necessary to do so. Otherwise I know I'd be as incensed as you by their crap advice.

antsypants · 30/10/2011 18:47

I get it all the time about my fear of water, I was thrown into a river by some teenagers when I was a little girl and since then am petrified of drowning, I can make it into a swimming pool (as long as they don't have that urine activated dye in the water Grin) but I cannot take my feet off the bottom.

It was never an issue until I had DD and since then I've been told to just get over it, that I'm selfish and am putting DD at risk because I'm unable to take her swimming.

It's incredibly annoying, I'm a normal functioning human being, do you honestly think I'd be carrying on like a dick?

All I can say I to ignore them and feel really proud of yourself OP, and well done for getting through things so well!

peggyblackett · 30/10/2011 18:54

YANBU at all. I could have written your OP.

After CBT and hypnotherapy I can just about manage if I have a) DH with me and B) I'm slathered in EMLA cream. Those are my coping strategies. I dont think many people realise how crippling it is (I have had full blown panic attacks in past where I sweat, my hearing and vision distort, my mouth goes dry and then I faint Blush).

MrBloomsNursery · 30/10/2011 18:56

Oh I feel sorry for you because I have a similar kind of needle fear. Have you tried emla cream to numb the area first? That normally helps me deal with the pain side of it, but still clench my fists and curl my toes to get over the actual thought of something violating my skin like that.

BlancheIngram · 30/10/2011 19:29

I keep wanting to post on dog threads about this and then being too scared. But this is exactly what it's like having a phobia about dogs. I'm not worried that it's going to hurt me - I think it might hurt me, but I'm no more scared of pain than most people. I'm just terrified because it's a dog, and it's near me, and no-one understands that I'm not 'being silly' or 'making a fuss', I'm feeling sick and my heart's hammering and I'm trying not to scream and run because I don't want to do that in the street any more than most sane adults do and because people keep telling me that showing signs of fear make a dog more likely to attack. But when a dog's not on a lead and approaching me, I feel the way some of you would if someone was running after you with a syringe, or locking you out in a thunderstorm. I have vomited from fear and I have, while heavily pregnant, fainted, while some horrible dog-owner was calling 'oh, she wouldn't hurt a fly, she's just being friendly.' And I have to deal with this every time I leave the house.

BeerTricksPotter · 30/10/2011 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlondeBatgirl · 30/10/2011 19:45

YANBU!
I have a phobia of cotton wool! I hate the bloody stuff! I get the piss taken out of me all the time for it.
I also dont like water antsypants.Panic attacks seem to take over! I feel so guilty about not being able to take ds swimming but I just wouldnt cope and I dont want to pass my fear on to him!
Well done op !!!

runningwilde · 30/10/2011 19:50

Yanbu

I don't have any massive phobias, I absolutely hate lifts but I get in them but I would never say to anyone with a true phobia to get over it. That is so rude and disrespectful! Ignore these silly people, they are so rude.

You are doing so amazingly well by the way and good luck.

runningwilde · 30/10/2011 19:53

choconellie! you are evil! [hwink]

thefirstMrsDeVeerie · 30/10/2011 19:57

I have anxiety issues around hosptials and medical environements generally. I have to explain this and find that people just do not get it. The think I mean I dont like hospitals much. Its so much more than that. It can be very frustrating and then humilating when I forced into a situation that makes me lose control.

Lots of people say they have a needle phobia (or other phobias) when they clearly do not and I dont think they help your cause one bit OP

I get particularly annoyed when people say they wont donate blood because they have a 'phobia' when they dont. It pisses me right off.

A phobia is very different from a dislike or even a fear.

heleninazombiecart · 30/10/2011 20:03

YANBU at all. I really can't understand why people fail to understand the concept of a phobia and try to rationalise the irrational. Have they no imagination?

"Its only a spider, it can't hurt you" yes I know, it's an irrational fear which is why its called a phobia

"I don't like it when people vomit either yes, I know... do you actually start screaming and faint when you see this? No, I didn't think so

"Oh no one really likes injections, its only a small prick" precisely!Hmm

iklboo · 30/10/2011 20:03

I have a phobia of clowns. The sweaty, feel sick & dizzy kind of phobia. People think it's fecking hilarious and have been known to send me photos called something else so I don't know what I'm opening Angry

BlancheIngram · 30/10/2011 20:04

BeerTricksPotter, you're absolutely right, and a rare gem among dog owners. I'm always really grateful when someone sees that I'm anxious, or that my son is (he's scared rather than phobic, but people are often kinder about frightened children) and calls their dog or puts it on a lead. But often even when I call 'my son is scared, please could you call your dog', people say 'oh, she won't hurt him.' I'm using him as a screen at the moment - if he ever stops being scared, or when he gets big enough that people aren't sympathetic, I think I might stop walking off-road entirely. Which is a shame, because we moved to a National Park partly for the walking...

jumpinghoops · 30/10/2011 20:06

Well done OP for managing to get through this, I can imagine phobia of needles must be bloody hard going in life. I have a wasp phobia and have burst into tears, shaken like a leaf and been physically sick before when one has been buzzing around me. Some summers as a teenager I hardly left the house and had to leave midway through one of my exams as there was one in the room. People find it hilarious when I run away from them and I feel bloody stupid.

I really want to try and deal with it next year as I now have an 18 month old and don't want to pass my fear onto her (my mum reacts similarly, albeit not quite so bad as me). I spend my whole time in the summer scanning around trying to see if one is near.

What is the best way to approach it- does anyone know? Is hypnotherapy best? Or I saw acupuncture mentioned? Any recommendations?

BeerTricksPotter · 30/10/2011 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.