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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think straight married sex in "The Slap" is not portrayed accurately?

76 replies

lesley33 · 30/10/2011 04:19

I have been watching The Slap online which has lots of portrayals of sex between married/long standing couples. I was actually a bit shocked that the sex was almost uniformly portrayed as 20 seconds kissing, penetration or bj and thats it. I can't see how that would be satisfying to many women - although I appreciate it may be to a few.

AIBU to think that in rl straight married sex is usually not like this. I am a lesbian, so I don't actually know - I guess I hope it is not an accurate portrayal.

OP posts:

noddyholder · 30/10/2011 10:31

He is a bastard though and she is in awe of him. It is only portraying them not heterosexual sex in general. Some people are happy with less she is obviously one of them! He is coked up drunk selfish and also needs downers to slreep so it is not surprising he doesn't give a shit about her.

northernrock · 30/10/2011 10:46

Yeah, but its just EVERYWHERE innit?
snog snog, thwump, thrust thrust, uuhhnngg!
What gets me is how the woman always orgasms after zero lead-in and about eight thrusts...I know porn is like this, but does normal telly have to be?
I mean, ds is four now, so obviously not watching but when he is older I don't want him to get the impression that women are just ON all the time, ready to be slipped the salami at the drop of a hat and so incredibly easy to satisfy.
This kind of portrayal is probably what led me to fake orgasms so much in my twenties!

rycooler · 30/10/2011 10:49

Leslie33; what do you think straight sex is like?

ImperialBlether · 30/10/2011 11:26

She wasn't in awe of him in the tv version. She was intensely irritated by him, which makes her response so unlikely.

noddyholder · 30/10/2011 11:28

She was overall. Things he did irritated her but that is their relationship. A long protracted love making scene with all that implies would not be appropriate for them.

GalloweesG · 30/10/2011 11:31

Watched this with dh yesterday, I commented that she wouldn't be happy with that, but it was a coke fuelled, booze laden, guilt ridden fuck. No more no less. It was entertaining though, I had a few moments of recognition throughout the film.

Original poster

lesley33 · 30/10/2011 11:32

I assumed straight married sex was more varied. I think it is probably different with1 night stands, etc. But these are people who have been married/living together for years, but there seems to be nothing about pleasure for the woman. For example, sex could be quick but then with man going down on woman - which would take about 5 seconds to portray.

And I have been watching online so seen later episodes - its not just 1 character that this applies to - that would be fine.

Totally agree about the unrealism of type of sex after party. Woman didn't seem, in awe of him- more resentful. Lots of can't you do thsi 1 thing for a change.

OP posts:

noddyholder · 30/10/2011 11:33

I agree gallow! If that was the norm for a sex life within a relationship I'd be gone but a snatched fuck when you are a bit off your head is rarely about teh other person so it was a perfect portrayal.

Original poster

lesley33 · 30/10/2011 11:33

GalloweesG - what did you recognise?

OP posts:

NormanTebbit · 30/10/2011 11:34

Have you seen the sex scene in Don't Look Now - now that is more like it..

Original poster

lesley33 · 30/10/2011 11:35

That is a lovely sex scene - justifiably famous

OP posts:

GalloweesG · 30/10/2011 11:45

The recognition was interesting, the man was having a party that he didn't want, the wife was putting all the effort in but really it was for her, had it have been his choice it would have been a grown ups party with lots of music and fun adult company, she created a cosy family friendly meal. I've seen that happen plenty of times.

Hector wanted the laid back lifestyle of his cousin with the obliging wife and the fit, handsome son rather than his console game and food obsessed son.

I wish I'd read the book but after seeing it I'm not us it would work for me.

northernrock · 30/10/2011 11:46

Sex scenes dont have to be hearts and flowers-it's just that telly sex is very often the same-no matter what the characters are supposed to be like.
My favorite thing, when I was briefly and disastrously married (so not an expert on married sex at all!) was when we were all ready to go out-me dolled up, in heels, him all fragrant and dressed up...and then we would have fast frantic sex on the stairs or something!
However, that was usually a mutual desire thing, or more often initiated by me. In The Slap, I agree, the wife had been pissed off with him all day, so it seemed really unlikely.

GalloweesG · 30/10/2011 11:47

It was his birthday though, it's the one day a year it seems to happen even in the driest of relationships.

TethHearseEnd · 30/10/2011 11:52

I think human beings in The Slap are not portrayed accurately, TBH.

rycooler · 30/10/2011 12:04

Lesley33; I'd say it's a fair portrayal of straight sex. If we're being honest here.

mayorquimby · 30/10/2011 12:06

haven't seen the show but just want to echo the sentiments of those criticising the book. It was absolutely disposable trash-lit for beside the pool, which is fine in itself but the author thought they were complteting the most important social-commentary of our time.
The characters had no development or depth to them, they were all just one dimensional lazy cliches.
Their seemed to be a ridculously ham-fisted effort to show how multicultural the whole group was.

northernrock · 30/10/2011 12:07

rycooler-no! I mean, it's not like I am getting any now, but in my hazy memory it's not all like that, surely! ?
Agree btw about the two dimensional characters in the Slap.

rycooler · 30/10/2011 12:15

Yes but northernrock - if you haven't had it for a while your memory is playing tricks on you - if you hadn't eaten for a week an Asda smart price pizza looks delicious and enticing.

northernrock · 30/10/2011 12:24

Hmm. True rycooler. In fact at the moment even that scene in The Slap would have done me!
Having said that, I am absolutely certain that I remember having extended sweaty monkey sex with lots of extras..?! Please someone tell me that still exists!

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 30/10/2011 12:46

I've only seen the first episode OP and I thought the same. It took my mind off being mildly irritated that in the book it was made quite a big deal of that Aisha is Indian, yet in the programme she clearly isn't. I was surprised to find I cared that much about a biggish change being made to a character I wasn't fond of in a book I didn't like, but Aisha being Indian was remarked upon a lot in the book and it was a small but important detail to quite a few parts of the story.

As I say, I have read the book and am re-reading it now, which is something of a surprise because I thought I hated it the first time.

I agree that the characters in it are all quite loathsome, with one or two exceptions (Anouk and Manoli weren't quite as vile as the rest if I recall).

But since I am sitting right beside the book I searched back for that part and the sex between Hector and Aisha after the party is at least a bit more mutual and not quite so "three thrusts and it's over" as it was on TV. There is some foreplay and it does say "they fucked for ages" but it puts his stamina down to the drugs and thoughts of Connie.

I wouldn't want to think it was 'normal' sex in a 'normal' marriage in either the book or the TV show. But if the idea was to quickly establish all of these particular people as selfish, shallow and mostly horrible then it helped to do the job.

MillyR · 30/10/2011 14:12

I haven't seen the tv series, but I have read half the book. I haven't finished it was because of the bizarre sex in it. In every sex scene (despite there being scenes between numerous couples) the man pinches or bites the woman's nipples/breasts until she objects. If it had been one couple, I would have thought, fair enough. But every couple? It makes it seem as if the author has a fetish that he believes is shared by everyone else.

I am glad the OP started this thread because I thought it was just me.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/10/2011 14:17

I don't know about the TV show but in the book all the men are arseholes and they all cheat and their wives are morons. I hated it.

Original poster

lesley33 · 30/10/2011 14:28

rycoller - I find that thought really depressing!

OP posts:

twinklytroll · 30/10/2011 14:39

Noonesgoingto - the ethnicity change annoyed me as well and I am not sure why. But I can remember her Asian heritage being mentioned frequently in he book.

I read the book last summer and did find the characters quite loathsome and one dimensional. It was one of those books hat I finished but only because I hate to not complete a book that I start. I cannot remember how the book ends which I think speaks volumes about the fact I became a passive uninterested reader.

I watched the tv version on I player this morning and thought it was quite cringe making to start but by the end I was getting into it. I kept confusing Connie with the mother of the slapped boy as they looked similar.

I will watch the next episode I think, although the voice over is annoying .

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