Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wander if that's how you treat people in real life?

52 replies

NewShooz · 29/10/2011 23:11

There's some really lovely people on this site. I found that out a few weeks ago when I really needed to rant.

But what is it with certain people on the AIBU thread that jump on somebody's question, just to point out that they have posted in the wrong place, or that their post is too long to read? Is that what these people say to their friends when they 'ramble on too long' about their latest problem?

AIBU to think that if it's 'too long', then you should just close the thread and click on another one instead... Or... if it's not in the correct subject thread for you, then don't bother opening it at all?

Why do people have to be so nasty?

OP posts:
Whatmeworry · 29/10/2011 23:54

YANBu with the exception of the more sensitive ones posted on AIBU, they need to be told to change or it all end in tears. As for the long no-paragraph ones - well, I don't read them.

Shutupanddrive · 30/10/2011 07:25

Yanbu

ballstoit · 30/10/2011 07:33

YANBU.

If it's too hard to read, don't read it...but why the need to comment Confused

Pagwatch · 30/10/2011 07:41

I don't tell people where to post.

But tbh it is irritating that everything gets shoved in aibu.

And aibu is always going to be the section where people feel most comfortable being rude. So suggesting that things get posted in the right area is part of a desire to make the site less aggressive. Which is ironic really.

The idea that it gets more traffic is true but only because you will get 10 genuine replies, 20 telling you you are an arse and 10 telling you it is in aibu so you are being and arse and going to get lots of replies telling you so.

I would rather post somewhere else and just get the 10 genuine replies.

BOOareHaunting · 30/10/2011 07:58

pag has a point. I think people often mistake the volume of replies for a larger amount of advice and/or opinions.

I know as a poster sometimes I wonder if IABU or not so ask there, but often there is also somewhere else it could be posted to ask for advice about how to handle the situation in future instead of asking if I was reasonable to handle it that way iyswim?

agent is right re grammer etc. Why for the love of god would you correct someones grammer/ insult someones grammer who has posted to say they are in tears over something? Confused

If the reason the poster is in tears seems trivial to you - tell them and offer advice (or hide thread) - no need to be insulting instead.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 30/10/2011 08:19

I agree.

The 'it's too long' type of comments make my blood boil

How ignorant

coming onto a thread to post "sorry, too long for me" or "can't read that, it's too long" grrrr

what's the point? It's just rude.

And I always wonder - do these people never read a book? a magazine? a newspaper?

Cos I don't know about you, but I can settle down and read several hundred pages of tiny text in a book. If you can do that, you can certainly read a few paragraphs of a post.

So the only reason they do it, is to be spiteful - since anyone who can read can clearly read even a long post.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 30/10/2011 08:20

Oh, and by 'it's too long' they mean 'I can't be arsed to bother with you and I thought I'd post to say so, so that you are in no doubt.'

cow cow cow cow cow.

And one day I'll strap on a pair and say so when I see it Grin

exoticfruits · 30/10/2011 08:21

I have pointed out that they would be better posting elsewhere if they need help-it is kindly meant as AIBU can be a bloodbath and no help at all.
Pointing out grammar and spelling is very rude.

borderslass · 30/10/2011 08:27

I'm none confrontational on here and in real life I'm a bit of a wimp in all honesty.

Pagwatch · 30/10/2011 08:34

I have met a couple of people who correct grammar and spelling in real life. Without fail, utter cunts.

Not very scientific but I think if someones desire to appear superior outweighs their basic good manners then they will always be arses.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 30/10/2011 08:39

Grin Pag. True.

my dad slips latin quotes into conversations and then wonders why people don't like him! Hasn't got a clue, bless him. And I don't have the heart to point out that when he was a miner, quoting latin at the other miners was probably not the best way to fit in! Grin

(He's a teacher now, but it's still a cringy thing to do.!)

Sparklingbrook · 30/10/2011 08:51

I don't think whem people genuinely want advice they should be pulled up on their spelling. Is that unreasonable?

Pagwatch · 30/10/2011 08:54

Grin at daddy Hecate

But random Latin is fine. A bit eccentric it's true, but not rude.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 30/10/2011 09:37

It doesn't make you many mates down the pit, Pag. Grin

I was reminded of it by your comment about 'desire to appear superior'.

Honestly, talking latin to a group of big burly miners who left school at 14 as you are covered in coal dust eating your snap is the very definition of an attempt to appear superior. Grin

And he remains genuinely baffled as to why they didn't like him Hmm

Whatmeworry · 30/10/2011 09:51

My excuse for spelling and grammar errors is Apple's Spellwrecker on the iPad. I am fascinated by what it will do with a sentence :)

JamieComeHome · 30/10/2011 09:54

I think there is a serious point to be made about AIBU.

I wold never post n AIBU while upset of feeling vulnerable, and would advise other people not to do so either.

JamieComeHome · 30/10/2011 09:55

Blimey, terrible typing. What I meant to say was : "I would never post on AIBU if I was feeling upset or vulnerable"

emsyj · 30/10/2011 09:57

YANBU. Saying, 'I think X, but you know you might get more/better/nicer responses in topic XXX' is fine IMO, but not the Forum Police approach of 'YABU to post this here' or even 'get it moved' - my favourite quote of the day!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/10/2011 18:57

I think that many of the responses in AIBU are considered and genuinely helpful to an OP. I don't think there's any poster there who hasn't the wit to see when an OP is really upset and needing help.

I'd be happy to see all of the forum police pushed off the board onto their own little utopia... far, far away. Agree with the MNHQ Wannabee/brown noser philosophy there.

woollyideas · 30/10/2011 19:04

YANBU. I have been told off for that very 'crime'.

Minus273 · 30/10/2011 20:43

YANBU.

I agree with emsy re where threads go.

There are some very nasty people in general I suppose its not surprising that some of them are on MN. Especially as they may feel the internet can give them the opportunity to especially, vile offensive and harmful to others. Sadly the nastiness is not just confined to AIBU.

Fixture · 30/10/2011 23:44

YABU. If only people just said what they thought instead of all the pretence. Politely, of course :)

Icelollycraving · 31/10/2011 07:26

I have suggested people take the thread to relationships for example,aibu is not a great place to post when you are upset & or sensitive.
I have been harsh a couple of times & told people to get a grip. It's usually because frankly they need to get a grip!
Long rambley posts are sometimes so hard to follow that I simply don't bother replying.

TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 31/10/2011 08:23

I've also noticed a lot of posters recently being really rude to the OP.

"Oh not this again! "

"If you google, you'll find loads of threads done to death on this already. Hmm"

"Boring!"

There appear to be a lot of new users atm so it stands to reason they might want to talk about something that's been covered before. So what? If you open a thread and aren't interested, close it again!

However, "AIBU to have a huge crush on [insert Cbeebies presenter/HH's actor of choice here]?" never seems to go out of fashion!

ghoulionine · 31/10/2011 08:34

But what is it with certain people on the AIBU thread that jump on somebody's question, just to point out that they have posted in the wrong place, or that their post is too long to read?

To the defence of people who say that, IMHE, it has been because the poster really did post in wrong place and it would mean that they would get less answers than if they posted in the right place or would get a lot of answers but not necessarely from people who do know anything about the issue. As an exemple, if you post a SN issue on "Chat" or "AIBU" you probably will get a lot of answers but if you post it on the SN bord, as well as getting a high amount of answers, you will get them from someone who has experienced it either as someone with SN themseves, parent/carer of SN person or professionals working with SN people. There are different topics on MN for the very purpose that people will get the atttention they need from the right people.

Also, some thread's OPs ARE very long and without paragrgaphes and I admit that even if their titlte seem interesting I just do not bother reading them.

So I think YA a bit U as these posters are actually doing a favour to the OP, not telling them off.