to expect DH to help me correct the way kids speak?

[hwjm1945]

We live in London but are not Londoners, 2 DSs are at school and come home saying "fink" for think and "fought" for thought and and "featre" for theatre etc. Now I don't mind a regional accent and in fact we both have ones of our own, but I can't stand sloppy pronunciation and I think this is what this is ( or fink). I correct the children, in a jokey way, DH refuses to do so, saying that they will grow out of it. I don't think they will and actually think he just wants to avoid having to pull them up, as we have this a lot, with things like table manners etc, will they grow out of it or will it becom more ingrained? AIBU to think DH shuold support this?

I don't think saying fink is a regional accent in the way that saying baaaath is. I think it is lazy pronunciation.

Being an inveterate snob, I stamp on any irritating patois.

My 13 year old has friends that say 'like' every other word. They obvious have very tolerant parents.

Elladee - exactly what I was thinking.

The one word that really bugs me is "anyfink", especially with extra emphasis on the "inK"... and the woman on my waitrose fish counter is guilty of this..

"would Madam like anyFINK else"

it has a fecking G on the end of it for gods sakes... is it that difficult to say..

If they hear lots of good examples of how to speak from you, they will still be learning it even if they choose not to use it.

I grew up in London and spoke like that a lot as a child, but I still know how to speak properly, and do now. I think you should remember that while your children are choosing to speak poorly to fit in with their peers, they are not thick, and when the time comes that they do have to speak properly for interviews etc, they will be able to.

I was in a supermarket the other day - Pe'er Taylor kept getting called to cusummer services. I had to fight the urge to shout "speak properly woman". It's just sloppy pronunciation, nothing to do with a regional dialect.

How on earth is it not a regional accent?!

It's a marker of regional accent in 1400. It's not some recent idea people have just cottoned onto and are doing to annoy you.

I can't bear it when people pronounce 'h', 'haitch'.

maisie - glottal stops are a standard part of Cockney accents. They are thought to go back a very long way, possibly as far as the time of Shakespeare. Pretending your accent (BBC? A more 'acceptable' regional one) is better is a bit off, I think.

If you just don't like the sound or the social associations, say so. But don't dress it up as something it's not: it's not 'just lazy speaking', it's a regional accent you happen to dislike.

Mispronouncing letters (or not pronouncing them at all) is not a regional accent - there will be plenty of others in that area who are perfectly capable of pronouncing those same consonants. It's sloppy speaking, affected by some people in that area.

Your children are socialising with cockneys, it is they way they will speak, if you want them to speak differently send them to a school where they all speak proper English.

Dont be silly Fabby -cockneys live in East London - South London is a different accent again.

Our HR department answer the phone, 'hello, haitch r'!!

"aks" for ask - thats another one that grates on me.

Send them away, preferably abroad, when they are older.

I spoke with a London accent as a teen. When I arrived at university, my housemates (from Devon) would should Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan-aaaaaaa at me in an Eastenders accent. To my ears I didn't sound anything like that but to their little country bumpkin ears it was probably the nearest they had heard to it in real life. (Incidentally I gave as good as I got back - they were great lads and we had a ball housesharing together.)

Anyway, at university I went abroad for a year (France) and it started to go because most of the other English people in the town where I lived spoke very well and proper diction helped when speaking English to French people. After university I moved abroad again and by the time I came back my London accent came out only when really, really angry! It helped that I was planning to become a barrister and telling the judge "I fink my client ain't paying anyfink to your client..." was never going to go down well (even though they claim not to discriminate against regional accents the London one doesn't seem to be included).

'haitch' tends to be a Catholic pronunciation here - is that the same in England?

'Mispronouncing letters (or not pronouncing them at all) is not a regional accent'

I can't quite believe this. What on earth do you think a regional accent is?!

I agree with you OP, I am big on speaking properly.
If they want to drop certain letters in order to fit in at school, then there is nothing I can do about it. But anywhere near me, then speak properly!!!!

'haitch' is just plain sloppy

EllaDee - are you suggesting geordies are violent, come out the computer and repeat it to my face

oops - come out of

It's learning when to use it appropriately. As I've said, it's fine to use dialect with your peers, but it's important to understand that there are occasions when it's not appropriate to speak like that.

I'm still trying to work this one out ... how on earth could you define an accent unless by saying that some letters and words will be pronounced in a different way from the way they're pronounced in other accents?

If anyone can give me a definition of 'accent' that doesn't refer to the specific pronunciation of letters and words I will be gobsmacked.

lo - . IME Geordies are very proud of their accents (and rightly so!).

Some teenagers leaving school are more or less unemployable because of the way they speak, they couldn't work in a shop or call-centre and are just unpresentable to the outside world. This is a big issue as it seriously hampers their life chances. Saying 'fink' and 'innit' and mumbling all the time might be cool in the playground (or sick, innit), but it's not cool if you can't stop.

This may not apply to your children, but ways of speaking are an issue when they start to affect employability/comprehension (e.g. most regional accents don't).

They will be pronounced Ella - not left out entirely. That's just sloppy speaking.

Agree Hardgoing.