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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think MIL is BU

38 replies

kunahero · 28/10/2011 21:05

Dp and I are enthusiastic but not very good runners. I have been doing Parkrun for 6 months and have got DP interested. We are really lucky to have a Parkrun 5 mins walk away.
We have dd (3) so we alternate care when we do our running in week but cant both do Parkrun at same time.
MIL lives 4.5 miles across our city in the opp direction to our parkrun. She is mid 60's fit and healthy with no ties and a good car. She has kindly offered to lookafter dd while we do aprkrun but only if we load dd into our car, drive 25 mins across city to her house, leave dd with her, drive 25 mins back across city, do parkrun, drive back to her house pick up dd, have chat, cup of tea etc, load dd into car and drive home 25 mins again.
MIL will not drive to us, look after dd then drive home!
AIBU to be pissed off at this?

OP posts:
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 28/10/2011 21:07

Ummm yes.

She offered, an option.

It doesn't work for you say say THANK YOU for the offer but it won't work.

squeakyfreakytoy · 28/10/2011 21:07

Get a babysitter who you can pay if you want to do it all on your terms.

Thats all. :)

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 28/10/2011 21:07

To clarify YABU NOT mil

Mollydoggerson · 28/10/2011 21:09

You are deffo bu. At least she offered and wants to help in her own awkward way.

Kayano · 28/10/2011 21:11

lol. yabu

Hassled · 28/10/2011 21:12

It sounds like an unnecessary amount of faff for you and I can see why you're cross, but you have to suck it up I'm afraid. She's still doing you a favour.

SugarPasteZombie · 28/10/2011 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fluffythevampirestabber · 28/10/2011 21:13

She offered. you don't have to accept.

YABU - you can say no. What do you want her to do? Why should she do a journey you're not prepared to do?

ScaredTEECat · 28/10/2011 21:13

Yes, YABU. She's offered to do you a favour. Accept it or don't. But appreciate the offer.

sabrinathemiddleagedwitch · 28/10/2011 21:14

YABU. How is it easier for her to drive a 50 min round trip to do you a favour?

WeShouldOpenABar · 28/10/2011 21:14

YABU say thanks but no thanks she is doing you a favour and doesnt have to put herself out for it and you dont have to accept , your system is working now isnt it so stick to it

MmeLindor. · 28/10/2011 21:15

What is a Parkrun?

Can you not do it near MIL's place?

YABU, I am afraid. Although I can understand you being cross at MIL being a bit awkward. Has she explained why she is reluctant to babysit at your house?

LydiaWickham · 28/10/2011 21:16

YABU - as others have said, hire someone.

CocoPopsAddict · 28/10/2011 21:16

Can you and DP drive one return journey each, i.e. you take DD there and he picks her up, or vice versa? At least then it'd be less of a hassle for each of you.

FrecklesAreOut · 28/10/2011 21:20

Yabu..think of the faff it would be for HER otherwise. If I offer to help someone out with childcare, I don't expect to do all the running too!

SandStorm · 28/10/2011 21:21

Why can't you share the driving - you take your DD and your DP picks her up.

feelingratheroverwhelmed · 28/10/2011 21:24

Actually I don't think you're being that unreasonable, just to go against the grain. Ok, she is doing you a favour by offering to babysit for you, but surely she should understand that adding nearly 2 hours onto the evening is not the best thing to do. Does she not like to drive? Or spend time at your house?
It's one of those situations where the help actually just makes things harder!

squeakyfreakytoy · 28/10/2011 21:26

why should MIL want to add two hours of driving to her day? It isnt her that wants to go for a run...

Maryz · 28/10/2011 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FredFredGeorge · 28/10/2011 21:46

Unlike everyone else I don't think YABU, whilst on the face of it she's offered to help you out which means she does get to do it on her own terms and if it's not useful to you then you can't really complain. But it sounds to me really that she's not offering to help at all but has come up with such a wasteful idea (nearly 2 hours of driving instead of 1, poor DD strapped in the car for 1hour etc.) that she knew you couldn't accept simply because she felt she should offer when she didn't really want to do it. And YANBU if that's the case, it would've been better not to offer, but it's pretty clear she doesn't want to do it, so if you want to do the park run together, you either need a running buggy (if the parkrun allows them) or you can get a babysitter.

MIL doesn't want to help.

[b]squeakyfreakytoy[/b] It wouldn't be 2 hours of driving for MIL, but just 1 - it's only 2 hours if DD is dropped off and collected - and that's just wasteful extra driving which helps no-one.

ac0rn · 28/10/2011 21:47

yabu

CountingDown321 · 28/10/2011 21:52

YANBU, people shouldn't offer to help when their terms plainly make it impossible for you to accept.

Also, with that kind of thinking, our environment is fucked! Sad

Weasleyismyking · 28/10/2011 21:57

YANBU.
her offer does not help you out. I'd rather pay a babysitter and I'd let her know that - politely.
I'd be slightly annoyed that she can now say 'well I offered' when she really hasn't offered anything useful. She doesn't have to be helpful of course but don't pretend to be.

EllaDee · 28/10/2011 22:40

Are you sure she sees it the same way you do? I suspect your MIL assumes you want her to spend some time bonding with her GC, and to take said GC off your hands for a bit. You OTOH assumed the idea was primarily for her to save you some time. She's not BU to refuse to do something that perhaps never crossed her mind as part of the arrangement.

HumphreyCobbler · 28/10/2011 22:42

It wont be two hours driving for her though, will it?

I think it is a little irritating, but you should just pay someone else to do it.