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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think I am entitled to a free goat?

93 replies

Sevenfoldedbloodybodies · 27/10/2011 22:00

I heard on mn a while ago that if you are poor you get a free goat, where is mine?

OP posts:
SkinnedAlive · 28/10/2011 00:19

Sorry repeating myself from exhaustion - exam tomorrow, sob. I just think Geep has a certain ring to it. I would cross a Hungarian racka sheep with the curly horns and hope for the best!

Whatmeworry · 28/10/2011 00:21

I need to go now (puts free goat on...)

iklboo · 28/10/2011 00:23

I bloody loves goats I do. They quite like me. Petting zoos worry when I visit cos the goats follow me round. And the llamas. I worry how I must smell Grin

BarryStar · 28/10/2011 00:27

My Mum had a white goat and a white chihuha (or however you spell it). Dog used to tease the goat mercilessly. I hated that dog. It was white, but also curiously hairless.

squeakyfreakytoy · 28/10/2011 00:31

I used to work on a landfill site, and we had two pet sheep. They loved rich tea biscuits and were very friendly.

MIL has a field very large garden, and I keep trying to persuade her that a few chickens, ducks and a goat would be really cool!

MrsRetchingBloodAndGuts · 28/10/2011 00:36

It's chihuahua Barry, I know because my mum always calls them chi-hoowa-hoowa's, she thinks it's funny.... Hmm

squeakyfreakytoy · 28/10/2011 00:44

I can sadly admit to watching Beverley Hills Chihuahua many times.. on my own, at the ripe old age of 42, and thoroughly enjoying it... Blush

BarryStar · 28/10/2011 00:46

MrsRetching - thanks to you and your mum!

Lisatheonewhoeatsdrytoast · 28/10/2011 00:53

I want a fucking goat!!! I asked last time too, it never arrived Hmm I am poor therefore need my fucking goat!!!! Angry

squeakyfreakytoy · 28/10/2011 00:55

Lisa, you could always get a nice rug and try CPR on it....

Lisatheonewhoeatsdrytoast · 28/10/2011 00:58

squeaky Angry

No messing here, where the fuck is my goat??? HUH???

Plus no rug, too poor for rugs god damn you!!!

Haggyoldclothbatspus · 28/10/2011 01:10

Facts about goats:
1/they browse on weeds and shit. they dont eat much grass. They are bad lawn mowers.
2/They climb, through, over and under fences, if you want to find them where you left them, you need to nail their feet to the ground.
3/The males smell. A lot.
4/The females need to be bred to make milk. That means an extra goat every year. Half of them will be boys, who smell. A lot.
5/The females produce shit loads of milk.
6/The males have only two uses: a/smelly lawn ornaments, b/goat curry.
7/They need to live in pairs.
8/They shit, everywhere.
9/They have horns and they headbutt. They headbutt with horns!
10/They dont have wool.
11/They dont lay eggs.
Still want your free goats??

MrsRetchingBloodAndGuts · 28/10/2011 01:35

1/I don't have much grass
2/can you not tether them?
3/I would kill them (see 6)
4/(see 6)
5/I could start a goat milk business?
6/I do love curry goat, I really do, we eat loads of it here.
7/that's sweet :)
8/is it manure type shit like horses? That I could use on the flowers?
9/I'm ignoring this one

10/I don't knit
11/that is a downside I must admit......

squeaky my dd watches that film all the time at the moment, I must admit it's quite funny Grin

TheHumancatapult · 28/10/2011 07:33

i don't want a goat but could do with all the shit and leave for LL when i move out ,well im only making sure the lawn is fertilised .Grin

imnobody · 28/10/2011 08:00

I have kept goats in the past. I bloody love them. They are so stubborn, you tie them up somewhere to eat all the greenery and they stretch themselves as far as possible to eat a dead twig. We bred them also and had to get the boys bollocks done so they wouldn't smell they cried, I cried and then I had to splash their shrinking bollocks for the next few days for some reason Hmm

startwig1982 · 28/10/2011 08:08

I used to milk goats that were kept at the school I now teach at. It was lots of fun but very smelly.Grin The school got rid of them when they found out that the bloke in charge was hiding a big stash of porn under the goats straw..... The goats didn't seem to mind though!!Grin

musicposy · 28/10/2011 23:20

Facts about goats:
1/they browse on weeds and shit. they dont eat much grass. They are bad lawn mowers.
My garden is mainly weeds and shit. Sounds ideal Grin

2/They climb, through, over and under fences, if you want to find them where you left them, you need to nail their feet to the ground. Mmmm, could be an issue.....we do live in a mid terrace house with no back entrance for quite a few houses either way. Any idea how many fences it would climb through?

3/The males smell. A lot.
We have a spaniel cross. I'm game for anything.

4/The females need to be bred to make milk. That means an extra goat every year. Half of them will be boys, who smell. A lot. This could be an issue. Maybe I will get an ex-breeding goat, a bit like a rescue dog.

5/The females produce shit loads of milk. Excellent. I won't have to keep driving two miles to the One Stop because DH has used it all again. I can reply to "We've run out of milk" with, "the goat's in the garden..." Brew

6/The males have only two uses: a/smelly lawn ornaments, b/goat curry. We can't eat goat curry, lovely though it may be, as DD2 is veggie. Will have to stick to the ex-breeding female.

7/They need to live in pairs. I think I satisfactorily ascertained up thread (with varying levels of agreement, but never mind) that our dog looks close enough to a goat to fool the goat.

8/They shit, everywhere. As does DH. Well, not everywhere.....

9/They have horns and they headbutt. They headbutt with horns! My goat will be a perfect specimen of excellent goatly behaviour, just like my children, dogs and husband (ignores howls of laughter in the background)

10/They dont have wool. That's OK, we can knit our sheltie.

11/They dont lay eggs. This is disappointing. I was hoping they did.

Still want your free goats?? On balance, I think so, though I am still considering sending my bank details to the obviously-trustworthy-and-not-pulling-a-scam DBF for the tapir.

hiddenhome · 28/10/2011 23:39

I have chickens, but would also like a goat Grin

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