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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or are the people who made the comments

30 replies

cheesespread · 27/10/2011 20:34

ive posted on here before about my MIL making sarcastic comments about my weight

i dont see her often so i try not to think about it

twice in 1 week at work,2 customers have made comments about my weight, the 1st asked if i was expecting again,when i said no she prodded me in the stomach and said "well u should get rid of that !

the 2cnd comment was made today by another customer,she said "your an attractive girl but your not making the most of yourself coz of your weight "

im a size 16 and weigh around 13st 8lb

ive been in tears tonight when ive came home,my OH said why do i take notice of what people say? i cant help it though

he thinks IBU by letting it get to me what people say

i found the 1st comment most hurtful

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 27/10/2011 20:36

Your DH is lovely.

The people who make comments about your weight are idiots.

Take from that what you will Smile

RainboweBrite · 27/10/2011 20:39

I really hate it when people make rude, unnecessary, personal comments. How would those people feel if you decided to criticise them? Nobody is perfect.
So sorry to hear you've been in tears over what they said, and I wouldn't say you were at all unreasonable to cry, but please try not to let anything anyone who is so rude as to make personal comments affect you so much.They really aren't worth it.

DayToNightBarbie · 27/10/2011 20:40

YANBU I'd be in pieces if either of those comments had been made to me. It's bizarre that some people think it's ok to say stuff like that.

GnomeDePlume · 27/10/2011 20:42

Cheese you have had the misfortune to meet two self appointed life coaches. It really wouldnt matter if it was about your weight, your hair, your clothes. These incredibly impertinent people think they have a right to say these things for your own good.

These people have no boundaries.

Your weight, hair, shoes, whatever is your business. Practice your most whithering stare.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 27/10/2011 20:43

The phrase "Well, I can lose weight but you'll always be a bitch" is a useful one for future use.

Bastards. Why does anybody ever think it's OK to say things like this.

Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie · 27/10/2011 20:44

yanbu,the rude people are.i hate that people think they can make hurtful comments.im underweight and constantly have twats thinking its fine for them to call me skinny bitch,am i ill etc.
its not ok to make hurtful comments.tell the next person who says something how their comments make you feel.make a comment make.

fortyplus · 27/10/2011 20:44

It goes without saying that YANBU and they are ignorant. However it sounds as though you'd like to lose some weight so maybe you can use this as an incentive to make some small changes to your diet and lifestyle that will help you lose a weight over time. Smile

Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie · 27/10/2011 20:45

good name btw we cheesey people ruleGrin

MrBloomsNursery · 27/10/2011 20:47

cheese - were the people who made these comments old women? Because I think old women don't seem to understand that their comments will be hurtful to someone.

As long as you are happy with yourself and your DH loves you, then I don't think it should matter what two stupid people in the world think.

My mum used to say, as long as you are beautiful on the inside, it doesn't matter what's on the outside.

IndigoSunshine · 27/10/2011 20:47

My god, some people are so insensitive! Just ignore, I know it can be hard but you need not waste emotions on such callous arses.

Original poster
cheesespread · 27/10/2011 20:50

thankyou it means a lot that other people also find these comments awful

im a yo yo dieter,i had lost 1 and a half stone and was doing well,i dont no what set me off but i started comfort eating again

i dont enjoy been this size,i no its only me that can change things

i just would never ever dream of sayin anything like that to anyone

OP posts:
thefirstMrsDeVeerie · 27/10/2011 20:51

Why do people say these things? Shock

I am pretty common tbh. No airs and graces here but I do not comment on someone's appearance unless I have something nice to say. I may slip up occasionaly with a ' you look tired' but it is alway meant with kindness Blush

I find if someone makes a dodgy comment they are likely to do it often and to everyone so dont take it personally.

There is a woman at work who always feels the need to comment on what I wear and she always makes whatever she says sound unpleasant.

I think she is jealous and I think those twats who spoke to you like that are jealous too!

Bourbonchops · 27/10/2011 20:53

I can't believe somebody would prod you like that!
And as for the backhanded compliment from the 2nd customer Shock
Just remember that people like this don't matter to your life and are often unhappy in their own lives to be so nosey in the first place.

AgentZigzag · 27/10/2011 20:54

I think saying these types of comments are made by old(er) women is unfair MrB, people of any age can say twattish things.

You need to not be bothered about social conventions if people talk to you like that cheesy, if they're rude enough to spout such crap, it gives you carte blanche to return the favour.

A good MN line for this situation -

You - 'Shock Did you mean for that to be as rude as it sounded? Hmm'

Them - 'Blush '

You -

OurPlanetNeptune · 27/10/2011 20:54

cheesespread, that is awful. What horrendous comments. But remember the fact they would say these things to you says more about them than it does about you. Where I'm from people like this are said to have ugly minds.

AgentZigzag · 27/10/2011 20:56

It looks like I was saying you should be rude and spout crap Grin I meant not be inhibited thinking you don't want to be rude by saying something.

dramatrauma · 27/10/2011 20:56

You should comment back, if you feel able to. It will save everyone else they're commenting to the same pain. Just look slightly shocked and say, My god, did you just make a comment about my weight?? Because that is so utterly rude, so beyond any social norm, I can't quite believe I heard that correctly.

wigglesrock · 27/10/2011 20:57

I agree, I don't understand why people comment on others appearance at all. Some people like the person that made the first comment think they're bloody hilarious Hmm or they use that old chesnut "I speak as I find" well here's a tip - keep your bloody mouth shut.

OP your husband sounds yummy, you're the same size as me and even if I say so myself I can be a bit of a ride somedays.

Original poster
cheesespread · 27/10/2011 21:10

my OH is no bother it upsets him to see me unhappy

the only reason i feel like i cant say much back to these people is coz im at work,they are customers and put money in the till

would be a different matter if it was outside of work,i would be able to say whatever i wanted then

i dunno maybe they were having a shitty day so decided to take it out on someone else lol

im feeling a bit better now,ive cracked open a bottle of wine !

OP posts:
Fiendishlie · 27/10/2011 21:17

I bet you're gorgeous cheesespread, I would love to be as slim as you. Hateful people thinking it's acceptable to say such things

AgentZigzag · 27/10/2011 21:20

You're not being paid for people to use you as a punchbag cheesy.

If they're having a shitty day, they can keep it to them-fucking-selves.

You don't have to be rude to be assertive.

Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie · 27/10/2011 21:24

doesnt matter that theyre customers.i used to work in a shop and get all sorts of shit-i didnt get paid enough to put up with it.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 27/10/2011 21:25

Do you think you could bring yourself to say "That is extremely rude. what makes you think it is ok to say that to me?"

Original poster
cheesespread · 27/10/2011 21:25

ano your right zigzag im too bloody soft

i was gobsmacked both times ! im one of these people that thinks of all the good come backs hour later

OP posts:
janedoe25 · 27/10/2011 21:28

OP that is awful, some people are so bloody rude! I am a size 18 and tonight I had fil asking me if I want a hypnotic gastric band for christmas! Shock